What age to leave kids in evening?

[lionfeet]

I know this has probably done to death, but just after a sense check.

Two sensible kids, aged nearly 12 and nearly 14. DH and I going out for dinner locally (20 mins away max). One of us will stay sober to drive home if needed. Return time 10.30pm. Safe area, neighbours at home.

So, can I leave them or do I need a babysitter? I'm really torn - I know friends who happily do this and I know 14/15 year olds who babysit - but would appreciate a wider view. I haven't left them in the evening before (would happily leave for an hour or two in the day, and have left older one all day occasionally if day off school and I'm at work).

Thoughts?

Someone called the police?! Holy fuck.

I'd say 14 plus for both

My mum went away on a charity trek in a foreign country for 2 weeks when I was 15 it was brilliant. My best mate practically moved in and his boyfriend who was 19 made sure we didn’t go too mad.

I would say 12 and 14 is fine for a couple of hours.
My mum would leave me around 14 to teach her fitness classes some weeknights, but it depends on the individual child I suppose.

I’d say more than fine.

I used to babysit a 7 year old when I was 14 (and to be honest I wasnt very sensible at 14) so I would say that fine OP. Enjoy yourselves

I have an 11 & 13yr old and at the moment we’d only go out locally, and before it got dark - maybe 9pm in the summer. I think it’ll probably be like that for a couple more years. We definitely wouldn’t bother with someone sitting in with them.

@BarefootHippieChick

I thought you weren't supposed to leave under 16s overnight on their own?

OP didn't say she was leaving them overnight...

I think that's fine. I would detest having a babysitter at those ages.

Presumably they have phones so you can check in with them to out your mind at ease.

Sorry doghead I was replying to another poster who said she left her 13 year old

There’s no age for leaving children in the law.

If they are happy id be fine witb it

I expect we might leave kids in the evening if just going out locally when DD turns 14 (Ds would be 11). We've already left them home for an hour or two during lockdown during the day (currently 12 & 9, DD has a phone) so we could just go for a walk locally together.

It's interesting how coming out of lockdown seems to have brought up these threads all of a sudden as I guess people are thinking of going out again and presumably have either found their kids have discovered more maturity during lockdown or perhaps are still not keen to have other people come in the house to babysit.

I think it’s fine if they are happy about it. I’ve left my dc of the same age at night for a few hours and would just keep in touch by text to make sure they were ok

As a sole parent I have had no choice but to leave youngest home alone when I work (days or evenings) since he started in yr7

I would leave them. If the get on and will be sensible.

Ripple - you really made me laugh with the image of 3 dc standing around a ringing phone

@BarefootHippieChick

I thought you weren't supposed to leave under 16s overnight on their own?

It's up to the parent

Someone will be along in a minute to say you can’t leave your child alone for a few hours until they're 20

I take my 9 yr old DS to football training for 2 hrs on Mondays. If DH is away then dd who is 12 stays home alone fine. I wouldn't leave DS 9 though.

They'll be fine. I used to babysit 3 under 5 for a couple of hours after school every day at 14/15 and was fine with it, even changed nappies. It did put me off having kids for a good few years though. 12 and 14 is definitely old enough for them to sit at home and watch TV for q couple of hours.

Why is 8-10 at night different to 12-2 in the afternoon? I'm really surprised that people won't leave a 14 year old with a younger sibling for a few hours. Ours have just turned 8 and 12 and we've begun leaving them for 20/30 minutes. Will build up to longer periods and by 9 and 13 I would expect to be able to leave them in the evening for a few hours.

When I was 13 I was regularly babysitting for a family up the road with a 7, 5 and 2 year old.

I have one child. I wouldn't have been comfortable leaving him after 10pm at 11, but did at 13. So I would only do it if I was happy for the 13 year old to be responsible for the 11 year old. Otherwise I would plan to be home by 10 at the latest. They may not feel comfortable going to sleep until you are home.

My 12 year old is fine being left for a few hours but I wouldn't do it at night, he might get freaked out about something or there might be an emergency. Maybe about 14 with a friend?

Yes of course a 14 year old can babysit a 12 year old as long as you’re OK with the older one still being awake when you get back because I suspect that the 14 year old might not be comfortable with going to sleep before then.

We occasionally leave dc 1 (13yrs) to babysit dc 2 (7 yrs) if we’re going out very locally. Still get a babysitter if we’re further away.

Re the pp where the police were called to an unattended 14 and 11 year old, what?!

It depends on (a) how sensible the older child is (b) how good/naughty the younger child is and (c) whether they bicker and fight or not.

Our eldest started babysitting in evenings (we only went out locally) for youngest who was 5 and would occasionally pick her up from after school club if needed. I would say the evening babysitting was easier because we would do dinner, bath and bed before we went out. The after school sessions were shorter - only an hour - but involved a journey and some food prep.

He took his duties very seriously - it helped that we paid him. Youngest is quite biddable and not hard work.

You will know your kids.

Eldest is now 16 and we are wondering about overnights (when life is a bit more normal). My fear is that he won't get up in the morning and little 'un will be lonely, so maybe we'll scrap that idea.