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Original poster

Do we believe in love at first sight?

50 replies

Ponchek2 · 10/05/2021 22:21

I do.

I actually think that is love. I only believe in love at first sight.

To be less obscure: I think the first glance is the crucial first taste. Then you see how it pans out. But if you really fall in love, it happens (well) within 13.8 seconds.

You clock their face; it synchs in; you love them. And it's like you've been searching for them. Maybe for a really long time. And never seeing them.

When you do see them, it's unmistakeable.

Most of you might think I'm an idiot, but I'm interested to know how much this is just me, and how much others (female and male) have noticed the same effect.

Let's talk about our stories of falling in love : )

OP posts:
TheRavenNevermore · 10/05/2021 22:32

If you seriously think lifelong enduring love is triggered by and based on one look at someone's face then you're in for a lot of disappointment.
You might fall in lust from one look but that's somewhat different to love.

Palavah · 10/05/2021 22:44

Sorry but i think that's bullshit OP.

Lust, enchantment, intrigue, call it what you like. But it's not love. Whatever it is that comes that easily will leave just as easily.

480Widdio · 10/05/2021 22:47

Yes I believe in love at first sight,it happened to me.I was with my late husband 26years,before he passed away.I never lost that feeling I had the first time I saw him.Wonderful.

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Kinvara11 · 10/05/2021 23:33

I believe this. It's happened to me twice. With my husband and my best friend. It's an instant connection and a comforting sense of familiarity.

Lottielovescake · 10/05/2021 23:47

I agree OP and have experienced it! It’s definitely love. It’s not the same as fancying someone at first sight at all, I honestly think it comes down to whether or not you’ve experienced that feeling before . It’s hard to understand if you haven’t. Lots of people develop love for other people over time and that’s beautiful in itself too but I think true, instant, heart-stopping love is absolutely possible and the best thing that can happen to you.

Ollinica · 11/05/2021 02:18

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Original poster
Ponchek2 · 11/05/2021 15:38

@480Widdio
So glad you had that 🙂

@Kinvara11
Yes totally agree - it's just so easy - all feels like just going with the log flume rather than fighting it/feeling cross you're wet/etc ...

@Lottielovescake
Yes you said it - it's nog just lust. Actually it's nor lust at all.

But if you feel instant love plus a moment or so later lust too then img you've won Euromlllions in a rollover week!!

OP posts:
MisContrued · 11/05/2021 16:24

Why 13.8 seconds?

Connection yes, I can instantly know if I have connection. Not love though.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 11/05/2021 16:31

I believe in lust at first sight, but not love. Love grows over time and isnt an instant thing.

cardoon · 11/05/2021 17:29

My two best relationships (1 marriage) started this way

Original poster
Ponchek2 · 13/05/2021 06:29

@MisContrued

'Why 13.8 seconds?'

I read somewhere ages ago that this is the maximum time it takes a person to know how close they'd like to get to the other person.

'Connection yes, I can instantly know if I have connection. Not love though.'

I think perhaps this all depends on our definition of Iove.

Possibly my strongest experience of falling immediately in love was like this: as I looked at the guy, I felt a kind of wave of absolute astonishment, recognition, and delight. I had to stop myself from just hurling myself straight at him snd finding my place against his chest. Every little bit of him that I took in was in just the right place, and quite perfect. If I'd have been given a blank sheet to draw my bespoke man, I couldn't have captured him better.

And looking into his eyes. It was as if we'd lived a whole life together, already, in less than a second.

It was so distinctive an experience. Defining. Unmistakable.

Even the air around him felt charged with love.

And he felt exactly the same.

This was so much more than lust, than a sense of connection. This was a thunderbolt of love.

OP posts:
Palavah · 13/05/2021 09:37

Had you both been taking drugs?

Palavah · 13/05/2021 09:38

How does this square with your other statement I think the first glance is the crucial first taste. Then you see how it pans out.?

DeeplyMovingExperience · 13/05/2021 09:43

Yes. My DH and I had that and we are still mad about each other over 30 years later.

peaceanddove · 13/05/2021 09:56

I believe in it. When I first met DH I was nursing a broken heart from a previous relationship. I knew absolutely nothing about DH but when he came up to me, it was like I recognised him and I thought 'Oh, it's you'. Our first date lasted the whole weekend and by the Sunday morning we both knew this was forever.

That was 30 years ago, and I have never stopped falling in love with him. We've had our ups and downs, but we've always had a lot of love and a lot of passion. I couldn't have settled for anything less.

ShutUpAlex · 13/05/2021 10:11

Yes, well technically love from first FaceTime as we met on tinder. We were engaged, moved in and pregnant within months and I was quite anti man before him!

MindtheBelleek · 13/05/2021 10:16

Are you on mushrooms? It seems to be having an effect on your prose.

No, I don't. Because you are choosing to forget all those times you saw someone, had a visceral response of delight and 'rightness' and subsequently discovered they were a dull navel-gazer who only talked about his Playstation.

It's pure confirmation bias, like people who forget the incorrect guesses they get from a 'psychic' and inflate the correct ones. Or the large numbers of posters on the threads called 'Do you believe in'the One'?' who say 'Yes, I do, I knew I'd met the One when I first met my ex!'

Looking at someone tells you nothing about them other than what they look like.

WhatMattersMost · 13/05/2021 10:37

As a therapist, you learn that "love at first sight" is the setting off of deeply buried triggers of recognition - from the unconscious, in other words - that you will invariably need to work through when the prince turns into a frog.

WhatMattersMost · 13/05/2021 10:38

I know. I wouldn't want to listen to me either. It's all so unromantic.

psychomath · 13/05/2021 10:57

Don't know about love, but a handful of times in my life I've met someone for the first time and known immediately that I was going to really like them, even before we've had a conversation. I don't think I've ever been wrong in those cases, and most of them have had a profound influence on my life and in several cases remained close friends for years. I've no idea what causes it - must be some kind of unconscious trigger, like WhatMattersMost says. But it's amazing how you can pick up that much from just seconds of the most basic interaction.

MrsBarnstable · 13/05/2021 11:02

Yes, I believe in it

MindtheBelleek · 13/05/2021 11:05

@WhatMattersMost

I know. I wouldn't want to listen to me either. It's all so unromantic.
No, it's interesting. What kinds of 'recognition'?
Gymsmile21 · 13/05/2021 11:07

No.

Attraction at first site, but I find the love that “grows” is more deeper and stable.

ChairmansReserve · 13/05/2021 11:10

'Why 13.8 seconds?'

I read somewhere ages ago that this is the maximum time it takes a person to know how close they'd like to get to the other person.

Oh well, I'm convinced. Now I know that you "read it somewhere ages ago".

Rock solid

KitBumbleB · 13/05/2021 11:54

It's funny isn't it, if your OP said you met someone for the first time and instantly hated them everyone would agree that it's possible, but instant love is mocked and dismissed

I fell in love at first sight recently, we spoke a lot on the phone beforehand but as soon as we saw each other it was like oh...it's you, it was always going to be you. Utterly delightful and passionate, new and exciting whilst at the same time being completely comfortable and familiar.