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Original poster

Was this normal, in the 80s?

58 replies

sadpapercourtesan · 10/05/2021 11:07

To hit a child round the head so hard they would see stars/be dizzy/have a headache?

My stepfather did this often, and I know standards have changed (I am vehemently against ALL smacking and have clashed on MN over it before) but when it's your own memories it can be hard to judge what is and isn't, iyswim

The whacking around the head was not the only thing that happened, some of it I know was wrong/illegal, other bits I'm not sure.

OP posts:

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 10/05/2021 11:10

No. Most definitely not.

ChatteringBastard · 10/05/2021 11:14

yeah, I got the Belt or a wooden spoon too if naughty

bottleofbeer · 10/05/2021 11:14

It's never been normal or ok, probably happened more then because agencies weren't as likely to be involved. Having studied neuroscience since then it frightens me how much damage could have been done to my younger, fragile head with some of the whacks around the head I took.

VexedofVirginiaWater · 10/05/2021 11:14

Absolutely not normal.

TalbotAMan · 10/05/2021 11:15

80s, no. Probably became unacceptable in the 70s.

Suzi888 · 10/05/2021 11:16

Nope.

FrogFairy · 10/05/2021 11:16

I remember teachers whacking disruptive pupils around the head, or hitting them with a book or throwing the blackboard rubber at them.

FoxyTheFox · 10/05/2021 11:21

No, it wasn't normal in my experience. My dad did smack us and was emotionally abusive but had standards ( ) and never hit us around the head or using an object. I remember he went spare at my uncle once for belting his son around the head and on another occasion hitting him on the backside with a shoe, he told him it was abuse and smacking had to be done with a bare hand and not around the head.

MyCatIsADentist · 10/05/2021 11:30

Not at all. I was a child in the 80s and got a couple of smacked arses from my parents, but never enough to hurt like that and never to the head or face. That was definitely abusive behaviour from your stepfather.

LBOCS2 · 10/05/2021 11:32

No, not normal at all. I was a child of the 80s and I can remember being smacked maybe twice, both times on the hand.

Memoriesbringbackyou · 10/05/2021 11:34

It was never normal, but I was constantly beaten by my parents throughout the 70's and part of the 80's. There was no one I could turn to. I knew that Teachers would not take it seriously back then.
What I am left with so far, is life long mental health issues.

MrsOrMiss · 10/05/2021 11:41

It was 'normal' in the sense that it happened a lot and no one did anything.
As the decade went on, people starting calling abusers out about it. I do wonder if it's because corporal punishment was made illegal in the early 80's and that caused society to look at how we punished and what was punishable.

It makes my blood boil when I see Facebook posts spouting 'I were given 200 lashings of the whip, twice on Sundays, never did me any harm'.

MockneyReject · 10/05/2021 11:42

It was normal within my family, and other families we knew.
It was only when I chose to attend an all girl's secondary school, with an intake from beyond my own area, that I met girls who weren't regularly punched, slapped, kicked and shoved by their parents - and older siblings.
Friends and at least one staff member expressed concern, but there was no formal intervention.
I remember being invited to friends' houses, to sleep, a lot. I realise, now, that was their parents' way of keeping me safe, at least for a weekend. Some of them knew my auntie, but seemed satisfied with the explanation - that I was 'mouthy' and drove them to it. I was also regularly sent to stay with aunts and uncles for a week at a time, to give my mum a break from me. This was usually after a big 'good hiding'.
My parents were young, skint, had too many children and didn't particularly like each other. They shouted and hit out because their own lives were pretty shit, and they didn't really have other coping mechanisms.
My parents weren't seen as bad parents. In fact, my mum really liked the little ones, and was often the go-to for advice on babies/potty training etc And she helped out at primary, with reading and stuff.
The head, of course, doesn't show obvious marks/bruises. If I had grab marks and bruises on my arms and legs, my mum would write me a note, excusing me from PE. Or she would give me the day off, as long as I did some housework/childcare - and I was fine with that. Some friends envied the ease with which I was allowed 'off school', just as I envied them their 'nice' homes and families.
My own youngest is, I think, a lot like I must have been at their age - stubborn and argumentative, and I can feel the rage building up, sometimes. I do wonder if I would lose control and hit out, if it were not so unacceptable, and had I not made the decision, pre children, to parent very differently to how I was parented.

Inthesameboatatmo · 10/05/2021 11:49

A clip round the ear or a wooden spoon .
I wouldn't say being hit so hard you go dizzy is anywhere near normal.
Not that any kind of hitting a child is normal ,but in the 80s more common

Fifthtimelucky · 10/05/2021 11:50

I was a child in the 60s and this definitely wasn't normal then. My father never hit us. My mother very occasionally used to hit us on the bottom with a hairbrush (one hit only, and not very hard) or to 'shake' us.

At primary school, we were hit (once) on the back of the leg with a ruler. At secondary (70s) I remember once seeing a boy threatened with the slipper but he started crying and the teacher didn't go through with it.

My sister had a friend who, along with her brothers, was hit more frequently by her father. But as far as I know he never hit his children round the head.

FictionalCharacter · 10/05/2021 11:59

No. Not in the 70s or 60s either.

LagneyandCasey · 10/05/2021 12:10

My 'father' hit us a lot, lots of slaps around the legs and back of head. He once banged mine and my siblings heads together. I just remember a shocking sound and pain and everything going white for a while then staring at the wallpaper until it came back into focus. I regard it as abuse and not normal as my cousins and friends weren't treated like that.

VeganVeal · 10/05/2021 12:22

1980's or 1880's?

copernicium · 10/05/2021 12:35

I was regularly hit around the head late 80's, early 90's - not sure I would call it normal though.

Miasicarisatia · 10/05/2021 12:35

It may have been common but it certainly wasn't right ....when you see your stepfather next whack him around the head a few times to get your own back
(j/k)

DramaAlpaca · 10/05/2021 12:50

No! And in my experience of growing up in the late 60s and 70s it wasn't normal then either. Growing up I was never hit, at all.

ShockOche · 10/05/2021 13:03

My mother was always smacking us round the head for misdemeanours, and if we were both at fault in her eyes she would smack our heads together. That hurt a lot. 80s/90s.

Abraxan · 10/05/2021 13:05

Certainly wasn't normal for us. Was brought up in the 70s and 80s and wasn't really hit at all, not that I remember.

Pyewackect · 10/05/2021 13:07

Normal for my mother certainly which is one of the reasons why, at the age of 14, I came back to the UK to live with my grandparents on their Dorest farm.

Miasicarisatia · 10/05/2021 13:07

My mum used to brag to the neighbours that she never hit me around the head

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