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Original poster

Was this normal, in the 80s?

58 replies

sadpapercourtesan · 10/05/2021 11:07

To hit a child round the head so hard they would see stars/be dizzy/have a headache?

My stepfather did this often, and I know standards have changed (I am vehemently against ALL smacking and have clashed on MN over it before) but when it's your own memories it can be hard to judge what is and isn't, iyswim

The whacking around the head was not the only thing that happened, some of it I know was wrong/illegal, other bits I'm not sure.

OP posts:

PermanentTemporary · 10/05/2021 13:10

Not normal even then though clearly it happened. There were still a lot of families who smacked but hitting on the head was much less common imo.

I wasn't ever hit by my parents so this is based on info from my friends/books.

Craftycorvid · 10/05/2021 13:17

It was never acceptable but as corporal punishment in schools was perfectly legal, it was tolerated and there would be less opprobrium than there would be now.

memberofthewedding · 10/05/2021 13:24

@ MockneyReject My childhood back in the 1950s and early 1960s was much as you describe. It also happened to at least one of my friends. So I think was not uncommon then in working class families where there was money pressure. I was a "mouthy" child who answered back and it was a good day when I did not get a whallopping from my father. Mostly it was fists but also his belt as well. I tried to keep out of the way as much as possible. My mother was a great believer in "the man is boss" and did little to stop it save for the occasional feeble protest.

When I grew into an adult and taxed my parents with this they denied it all and my sister (who was a snitch and often the cause of my beatings) backed them up. On the evening of my father's funeral there was an almighty row about it which resulted in my walking out of the house and going to an hotel. After that I went NC with my family until after my mother died. There is still a coldness between my sister and myself although I get on fine with my cousins and my nephews and nieces.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 10/05/2021 13:33

Not for me. I can remember getting a smacked bum for running across a road ahead of my mum and not waiting/holding her hand - that really stands out as I think it was the only time I was ever hit.

MargaretFraggle · 10/05/2021 13:36

I was never hit by my parents so would personally not consider this normal at all. I am worried that anyone would. It sounds dangerous

GeorgiaGirl52 · 10/05/2021 13:52

Here it was called "boxing your ears" and it was considered somewhat extreme because it could damage eardrums. Having your posterior whacked with a wooden spoon or spatula was very common. I still have the "punishment spoon" that my mother used on me in the 60s. I used it on my daughters some in the 80s but by the time my son came along it was out of style, so I use it now to make lemonade. Long handle and stirs right to the bottom of the pitcher!

Original poster

sadpapercourtesan · 10/05/2021 14:18

@Miasicarisatia I'd love to, but he's dead!

It wasn't just a clip round the ear, it was a proper, full force blow. He used to lash out without warning so it was a shock as well, I can remember reeling and everything going black for a second.

I can't imagine ever hitting one of mine (or anyone else's) like that

OP posts:

Jesusmaryjosephandthecamel · 10/05/2021 15:11

Normal for my father and step mother who were both physically and emotionally abusive. It was normal to be beaten with belts, wooden spoons, to be struck on the face and head, to be made to sit on a freezing cold bath. A neighbour rang social services who came and visited. My step mother twirled them. My young years were horrendous. I don’t have contact with them anymore. There’s no reason why anyone should be hitting a child, I don’t care what generation they are from.

JovialNickname · 10/05/2021 15:14

Yes, I remember having my ears boxed or heads banged together with my siblings. Not nice but it is not true to say from a 2021 perspective that this didn't happen in the 80's or that it is retrospective "abuse"; it wasn't considered that way then.

JackieTheFart · 10/05/2021 15:20

I can remember the times I was hit as a child it was so few and far between, and no, that wasn’t normal at all.

Sure, we were threatened with all sorts (the favourite being a smack with a stick!) but neither mum nor dad ever did it. Actually the only time I was slapped was by mum when I was 12 and had truly pushed her over the edge. I deserved a slap tbh.

Tambora · 10/05/2021 15:21

No, not normal. It was assault.

If he'd done it to anyone else, maybe in the pub or a random stranger in the street, he'd quite rightly have been arrested.

You poor thing.

Fundays12 · 10/05/2021 15:45

No definitely not normal. My dad once hit me with a belt and my mum told him she was divorce him if he ever did it again. He never did. He thought it was normal as he was raised like that. I was rarely hit though as my mum didn’t feel it did any good. I don’t know many kids that were. I grew up in the 80s. What happened to you is child abuse.

IReallyNeedMoreGin · 10/05/2021 16:01

I grew up in the 80's and this was normal in my household. As the eldest I was often beaten for not making sure my younger siblings weren't behaving.

I remember once objecting to my sister kicking me. So my mother grabbed us both by the hair and smashed our heads together. We were in the supermarket. No one said or did anything. So from then on assumed it was normal. Think I was about 6 at the time.

MajorNeville · 10/05/2021 16:03

I was born in 67 and no this was not normal. I had a snack on the legs once or twice but nothing like that. A smack or a punch like that isn't done as punishment but is done out of sheer anger and abuse.

SharpLily · 10/05/2021 16:04

Normal in our house. It took me a long time to realise it wasn't normal everywhere and that it wasn't my fault and that I wasn't a particularly awful child. I definitely don't treat my own children like that.

SoupDragon · 10/05/2021 16:05

Whilst a smack on the legs was probably normal for 70s-80s, what you describe, OP, was not.

imsoinmyhead · 10/05/2021 16:08

I remember my mum whacking me really hard around the head once when I was about 10 for running onto a carpet with wet trainers on. Bitch.

Ilovedthe70s · 10/05/2021 16:47

Not normal for my family in the 80’s or in the 60’s and 70’s of my childhood.

Tragically it has always been, and still is, normal for far too many children as posters here have described.

user1471538283 · 10/05/2021 16:59

I was raised in the 70s and 80s and I was never hit. My DF was hit as a child and he refused to do. He would get angry on occasion but never really lost his temper. I was raised to believe that even then it was abuse.

It makes me feel sick thinking of how scared children are.

fussychica · 10/05/2021 17:08

Born mid 50s. Can count the times I was smacked by my parents, then only on the back of the legs. My mum used to shout quite a bit. I once told her I'd rather she smacked me than shout at me.
I've been reading about the experiences of children sent to boarding school who were regularly beaten or abused there but either their parents didn't care or didn't believe them. So dreadful. It made me wonder why some people even have children.

WarmAndFluff · 10/05/2021 18:06

No.

I was never hit by my parents at all, throughout the 70s and 80s. My brother I can remember getting the slipper at school a couple of times (independent prep school) and I clearly remember my parents giving him the belt when he was caught smoking at 11, but I think that was the only time. We were all traumatised by that, I think my parents felt terrible too. It stopped him smoking until he was 13, and he's been smoking ever since, so - that worked!

Mistressinthetulips · 10/05/2021 18:10

Agree about the ear boxing, 70s though. More than a clip round the ear, it involved being hit on one side and then the other, repeatedly. Never happened to me but I saw it happen.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 10/05/2021 18:13

I know in the mid 70s ( 1974 ) I was at a school where my Mum thought the HeadMaster was marvellous all the things he came out with when we went for the first meeting ( we'd moved to the area)

So when it was break and I was sitting in the toilets with another girl , we mised the bell to go back into class .
He strode into the girls loo, put one hand on each of our heads and cracked our heads together .

I didn't tell my Mum she was very much the "Well if you get the belt at school and whinge then you'll get the same at home" .

So no I didn't fancy another .

shewalkslikerihanna · 10/05/2021 18:15

@sadpapercourtesan

To hit a child round the head so hard they would see stars/be dizzy/have a headache?

The whacking around the head was not the only thing that happened, some of it I know was wrong/illegal, other bits I'm not sure.

I’m so sorry you have to ask No, it’s not normal

pollylocketpickedapocket · 10/05/2021 18:16

I used to get whacked round the head from my dad, regularly. Always remember my mum saying don’t hit her head, pair of cunts when I think about it

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