He's not going to get better is he?

[stressbandit]

My granddad is 81 this year he's diagnosed with COPD and I think emphysema but could be wrong on that one.

He hasn't been able to urinate properly for the last ten years, it's now taking him around 15 minutes to empty his bladder.
He won't see a doctor.

He now can not walk at all for example, I saw him yesterday he was in the car I live in a block of flats he just has to get out the car walk up four steps and the doors there to buzz in.

He couldn't so I came to the car instead.
He still won't admit he's not well he's lost nearly 2.5 stone in the last few months he's already a small eater.

I honestly think he's dying, he keeps making jokes about him dying and it's the end but I'm scared and worried as my Nan relies on him for everything.
Paying the bills, cooking, food shopping etc we don't drive she doesn't either and she lives a way away. It's just all a mess and because he won't go to the doctor.

We don't actually know what to do or what's wrong with him my kids will be devastated.

It could just be an enlarged prostate...but then again it could be prostate cancer. Ridiculous that he won't see a doctor but what can you do? Sorry you are going through this...

@Cailleach My nans the same with this stuff also it's irritating to some extent. He's finally said she can ring 111 but I mean i don't think he realises that an ambulance probably will come. He can't breathe when standing he's gasping for breath, ok when sitting.

I'm glad he's finally taking some action anyway
Hope it's something that can be sorted.

He needs to see a doctor. It doesn't mean he's dying, they could improve him. Try not to panic, sounds like he's scared. Hope they talk some sense into him

He's been admitted to hospital and been on oxygen since last night no change to his breathing yet at all.

If he has COPD his breathing may remain poor but that’s not to say that the medics won’t be able to help him manage his conditions better and give him a better quality of life . He may , for example , need home oxygen or a nebuliser rather than inhalers . At least he is now getting some help . COPD / emphysema is an awful disease and can have a massive impact on day to day life . Hope you see some signs of improvement soon @stressbandit

He may get better. He may have another 20 years in him. Or he may not. But your family need to make a plan as to what's going to happen with your Nan because your grandad can't do everything anymore. I think that time has come, whether he survives or not, as he's 81 and obviously unwell.

Feel so sad he's been in there for four days now and still the same.
The oxygen isn't helping him and he's had a catheter fitted as he hadn't weed for 3 days.
He's legs or feet are now swollen I just miss him so so so much 😭

@stressbandit

Feel so sad he's been in there for four days now and still the same. The oxygen isn't helping him and he's had a catheter fitted as he hadn't weed for 3 days. He's legs or feet are now swollen I just miss him so so so much 😭

He is in the best possible place to get the best care and work put what is going on. He could have an infection etc, and they will be thorough and find what it is. Sending you much love x

Still on oxygen with a nebuliser going at the same time I think. Does this sound like the end stage of copd/emphysema?

No not necessarily . Lots of people have home oxygen and nebulisers , and it’s pretty routine treatment for COPD patients in hospital . Have you spoken to the doctors to find out what is actually wrong with him ? I would imagine that the nebulisers are being given through air not oxygen if he has COPD .

He has emphysema also and they haven't really told us anything they've been quite bad to be honest. All they said was an infection with his copd and we haven't spoke to them anymore.
Why isn't he getting any better then? He's in exactly the same boat near on a week later. His ankles are now swelling and he can't wee on his own without a catheter. He can't walk for more than two seconds before he collapses.

I think you need to call the hospital and arrange a meeting or call with the Doctor looking after him so that you can get some proper answers . It’s still perfectly possible that he will get over the infection but it may take longer because he was so poorly before he went in .

So sorry you're going through this, it's tough at the best of times, nevermind not being able to visit.
I think you should focus your efforts on your Nan as she will need support going forward, can the GP help in getting Social care involved?
Be clear about what you can do and can't at the start, services are variable, they were great with my parents but I am very aware this is not the case everywhere.
for you and yours, take care

It is very common for those largely bed-bound to get fluid in hands and feet. Is he getting physio to help his mobility and breathing? I would agree issues weeing might be symptomatic of prostate cancer but most men his age die with it rather than of it, iyswim, as it is slow growing. PALS can help with getting information if you can't get hold of anyone on the ward. However could they be telling your nan as nok and she just not really grasp it?

You need to ring the ward and ask to speak to his named nurse and then if needed say you want speak to his doctor. He will need to agree to this.

COPD is the new terminology for emphysema. There could be also sort of different things going on from his symptoms and they won’t all be serious. If he is retaining water then this has a knock on effect on breathing because there is less room for his lung to expand into.

An enlarged prostrate is very common in older men and doesn’t mean prostrate cancer. Like a pp said even if he has prostrate cancer that doesn’t mean it will cause death.

It sounds like your Grandad is finally getting the care he needs. Fingers crossed that everything goes ok but I agree with others that it is time to focus on practical help for your nan, and Grandad once he's back home.

Does she have any medical needs of her own that need addressing or that mean that she cannot look after herself while he is in hospital?

Could you or other family members help by organising a regular supermarket delivery for her, including some ready meals, sort out meals on wheels or similar ? Support her and your grandad to move over to direct debits for regular bills?

@LIZS No because she's not his nok his daughter made herself it who he hasn't seen for years so nothing gets relayed to my nan. She is very still with it

Thank you for all these replies he's had physio now to help him breathe out better I'm not sure what will happen with their food shopping and he was still working up until last week but he's finally packed that in but he does the food shopping, bills are already DD. But I don't drive and they don't understand technology at all and I can't see them letting anyone use their bank cards to authorise shopping.
They won't speak to social services so I honestly don't know what to do. My Nan has the same illness but is no where near as bad as him.

Your nan will need to get food so they really need to trust someone with their card to organise an online shop for her.

Op - this sounds like a really horrible situation. Could you order online shopping for them and they pay you back with a cheque or cash? Or maybe there is a charity that could help with shopping. You could try age concern or the RVS to begin with? Really hope your grandad starts improving. Hugs xx

@glasgowLil I'm going to try that x

He's been rushed to theatre this morning as when they tried to reinstate the catheter they couldn't as he's packed full of blood clots down there. He's emphysema is also stage 4.