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My wedding faux pas

71 replies

MusicMenu · 05/05/2021 17:00

It was years ago, I wonder if the bride cared enough to still remember?

I was unexpectedly invited to a wedding of someone I was part of a mutual interest group with. Both of us, I'd say were on the fringes of the group, not particularly friends, hence my surprise.

Anyway in the days leading up to the wedding, just making conversation and pretending to be more excited about the wedding than I was, I asked what colour the bridesmaids were wearing. "Pink". In my head that meant pastel pink, although there's no sensible reason why I thought that.

Seperately, I was deliberating over what to wear. As it wasn't the kind of wedding I wanted to spend £££ on, it came down to a black and white dress or a fuchsia dress I already owned. I ruled out the black/white on because, wedding (yes inspired by another thread).

On the day I turned up in exactly the same colour as the three adult bridesmaids. It was just a coincidence, but OMG I'd specifically asked what they'd be wearing only days before.

I've hardly seen the bride since and I often wonder if this is why! Would you have been very offended?

OP posts:
VenusClapTrap · 06/05/2021 08:42

the eggs I eat have lots of different coloured yolks

Green eggs and ham?

StCharlotte · 06/05/2021 08:43

@Smartiepants79

It is a rock you take if you buy your dresses from the high street. You have to choose them knowing it’s a possibility!
I'm going to a family wedding where the bridesmaid (bride's sister) is a similar size to me (18) and we both love a Monsoon frock so I'm going to have to be very careful!
Bluntness100 · 06/05/2021 08:51

I went to a wedding years ago, it was a very very high end event, there were seven bridesmaids and seven grooms men. It was that type of event. Everyone was dressed very elegantly and and in suitable typical wedding attire. It was all very, very posh and conservative.

One woman turned up in a red body con slashed ribbon dress. You know the ones that look like a bit of ribbon wrapped round your body and large parts of your body are exposed all the way down and round? So tummy, waist, arse, thighs all were partially exposed where the ribbon didn’t cover. She wore it to the church and all the way through the reception with no jacket.

I remember flitting between totally impressed she had the courage to do it, and totally stunned it was so so inappropriate to be standing in church at someone’s wedding literally half naked.

The very conservative mother of the half naked woman’s boyfriend was absolutely horrified. To this day I still cannot understand why the woman thought it was remotely appropriate to dress like that and I suspect it caused the relationship to end.

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ILoveShula · 06/05/2021 09:03

@AliceMcK, sounds like they deserve each other.
@Chatanooga1, you could have a whole thread going with that one.

Hardbackwriter · 06/05/2021 09:03

Ahhh, this has bought back a memory that makes me cringe. University friend's wedding, there were six of us that had been close friends at university, and two of them were her bridesmaids (plus her sister). No drama over which two she'd chosen, but it was sort of a situation where no one would have been surprised if she'd chosen any of us. Didn't occur to me to ask what they were wearing. Turned up to discover that the bridesmaids had just been told to choose any dress they liked as long as it was blue - lovely, boho-y mismatched vibe but, of bloody course, I was wearing a blue dress. It was so embarrassing because everyone assumed I was a bridesmaid and it sort of looked like I'd tried to insert myself as one without invitation Blush Genuinely considered getting changed but we were in the middle of nowhere and the only change of clothes I had with me were jeans and a sweatshirt! It was a gorgeous lovely wedding but all I really remember is the awkwardness.

Elbels · 06/05/2021 09:08

I know of someone who deliberately worn the same colour as the bridesmaids because she was annoyed she hadn't been asked to be one.

Iheartbed · 06/05/2021 09:18

A friend text me a pic of the dress she was going to wear to a colleagues wedding we were both going to...it was white and lacy. It looked like a kind of wedding dress. I told her she can’t wear that!!! No guest should wear a dress like that! She contacted the bride to check if it would be ok to wear the dress, but the bride is the sort of person who’s a people pleaser and said something like “you can wear it if you really want to” which I knew meant that she didn’t really know how to say no. I managed to persuade the friend NOT to where the dress but I still think she wonders why I was so insistent. She comes from another county so maybe wasn’t sure about the etiquette.

Hardbackwriter · 06/05/2021 10:02

@Iheartbed

A friend text me a pic of the dress she was going to wear to a colleagues wedding we were both going to...it was white and lacy. It looked like a kind of wedding dress. I told her she can’t wear that!!! No guest should wear a dress like that! She contacted the bride to check if it would be ok to wear the dress, but the bride is the sort of person who’s a people pleaser and said something like “you can wear it if you really want to” which I knew meant that she didn’t really know how to say no. I managed to persuade the friend NOT to where the dress but I still think she wonders why I was so insistent. She comes from another county so maybe wasn’t sure about the etiquette.
I always think that when people say 'just ask the bride' on the 'is this ok for a wedding?' threads - surely most people would feel too awkward saying they don't like/don't want someone to wear a particular outfit, even if they really would prefer they didn't? One friend wore hot pants and a crop top to my wedding and to be honest I would have preferred it if she hadn't, but if she'd asked me in advance (she didn't) I'd have been all 'you do you!' because I'd have felt so uptight saying anything else.
MarcelineMissouri · 06/05/2021 10:13

We got married abroad and it was small wedding with only 12 guests. I had one bridesmaid, my best friend. By complete coincidence my sil wore a virtually identical dress, and my cousins was also similar. The men (probably to be expected as it was HOT) were ALL wearing nearly the same pale coloured suit as dh and his best man. This wasn’t planned at all and due to the very small size it does look in photos like basically everyone is in the wedding party and has been instructed to match! It never bothered me in the slightest, I thought it was funny.

PurBal · 06/05/2021 11:01

My friend turned up in the same colour as my bridesmaids. I couldn't have cared less.

hopelessatthinkingupusernames · 06/05/2021 11:42

Someone at my wedding apologised for wearing the same colour as the bridesmaids. She didn’t know what colour they were wearing and her dress was nothing like theirs. Definitely nothing to be upset about in that case!

idontlikealdi · 06/05/2021 11:53

I wore a white linen sundress o a wedding once. It was so obviously a sundress, I had a on of coral coloured jewellery, bag and shoes. I HAD NO IDEA that you don't wear white to a wedding. I was pretty young at the time and it was just such a non weddingy dress it really didn't cross my mind.

No one mentioned anything on the day and it's never been mentioned so I assume she was OK with it, we are still friends!

I've also turned up to a wedding wearing exactly the same outfit as someone else - it was a pink trouser suit and we had both paired it with the same top underneath. We were a similar size / colouring so it was a bit weird but what can you do apart from laugh about it:)

MirandaMarple · 06/05/2021 13:02

I was a bridesmaid and we wore navy. Nearly all the female guests wore navy or a similar colour - they definitely all knew that the colour scheme was navy.

SarahAndQuack · 06/05/2021 13:29

My ex-MIL wore a long white dress to my wedding; I didn't mind (she was great, my ex-MIL) but do remember asking on MN if this was likely to make other guests think she was doing it on purpose, and predictably I got a huge raft of comments assuring me it was the most bridezilla thing ever to even ask the question, who did I think I was, blah blah blah.

Over ten years ago now, but I still remember.

In terms of faux pas I've made - I was bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding (I don't know why - I barely know him and had met his wife about twice). She wanted us all to have our hair up, and at the time I had very thick, longish hair that invariably fell straight out of any fancy hairdo. The hairdresser spent ages, doused it in spray and pins, and then declared defeat. The bride was Not Happy with me ... I don't know what she expected me to do!

Namechangeforthis88 · 06/05/2021 17:43

Friend of mine came to our wedding in a white dress. Didn't bother me at all. Think my mum was a bit taken aback.

SkepticalCat · 06/05/2021 18:39

Yolk yellow.

www.color-name.com/yolk-yellow-pantone.color

gabsdot45 · 06/05/2021 19:03

I went to a wedding once where 4 guests wore the same dress as each other. They all had a photo taken together.

ILoveShula · 06/05/2021 19:35
Grin

I remember a glamorous friend going to a wedding wearing the same dress as a much older guest. She wasn't happy.

MilduraS · 06/05/2021 19:37

I wore a dress from Phase Eight to a wedding once... the exact same dress as the bridesmaids. I didn't even know the bride and groom, it was a boyfriend's colleague. It wasn't a classic bridesmaid dress but I never wore it again 🙈 www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-heidi-burnout-dress-oyster/p1283570

ILoveShula · 06/05/2021 19:42

It's very pretty. Wear it.

bjrce · 06/05/2021 19:52

A friend from work was getting married - had this idea she wanted to wear a white suit the day "after" the wedding told us all about it- all thought fair enough, will look lovely. Very happy for her.

Few weeks before the wedding friend came into work very upset stating her future SIL informed her she bought a "beautiful white suit" and decided this was her outfit for the wedding!! Ahem!
We asked her did she happen to mention her white suit for the day after to her SIL, she said she did!

Anyhow! We advised her, not much she could do at this stage, can't dictate what SIL wears to wedding- so go ahead and buy another outfit. Will still look beautiful!

Also, as the hen night was coming up a week before the wedding, we said she might as well wear the white suit to the hen night and get some enjoyment out of it - which she duly did.
The SIL was absolutely furious!

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