Page 4 | has actually friendships come from mumsnet?

KirstyT79 · 2021-05-04T16:00:23+00:00

hello. i was thinking about this. has anyone posted for advice on here and actually made a good friend or soulmate?. we are all using made up names with no photo, for me i decided to have a johnny cash moment. i am a man actually, but i have always said if i had a daughter i would call her kirsty as i liked the name. so i chose it as a user name for MN. but who hs broke away from mn world and actually met up together in the real world? i am curous.

CirqueDeMorgue · 05/05/2021 11:06

@CirqueDeMorgue

A man posting under the name Kirsty, nothing odd about this.

I see it's already been pointed out.

FightingTheFoo · 05/05/2021 11:08

@CirqueDeMorgue

A man posting under the name Kirsty, nothing odd about this.

And asking about how to meet MN users in real life

MrsWooster · 05/05/2021 11:10

@Londono

I've made friends with people I've met on Twitter who I know are Mumsnetters too if that counts? We were all radicalised by Mumsnet and attended a Women's Place UK meeting and met a fab group of local women there.

Same here. It’s been life changing.

BIWI · 05/05/2021 11:11

Very disingenous @KirstyT79

Why on earth wouldn't you have thought that choosing a female-sounding name on a site primarily female might be an issue.

And you're asking about friendships and talking about sending PMs? Seriously, that's very weird. As I'm sure you know

Original poster

KirstyT79 · 05/05/2021 11:25

@biwi yes tbh. if i was on the otherside of a thread like this i would think it looked a bit weird. wish though i could get across that it was a genuine question though not an attempt to subtly try to solicit a meet with anyone on here. just that this is such a huge forum and often i see the same names almost as if they have actually got to know each other so i was interested whether or not it had ever moved from here into real life. yes badly thought out username but as everyone is annonymous anyway on here didn't think people would take much of an issue with it. see now how it looks and maybe i was misguided

OP posts:

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 05/05/2021 11:26

Random usernames on Twitter etc - whatever. But on a site predominantly frequented by women, to choose a name that sounds to all intents like a name and birthyear.

i just never thought that anyone would really care about somthingg like a username or whether they were talking to a man or a woman

And that right there is male privilege at work.

Muddledupme · 05/05/2021 11:39

I met my best friend at a toddler group 26 years ago.

SeaTurtles92 · 05/05/2021 11:48

no way did i set up this username or my account to dupe anybody.

Your username is Kirsty. You've come onto a forum which is probably about 98% females and decided you would use the name Kirsty, that is duping someone.

Why not use your real name? For example MichaelT29? You absolutely know what you're doing.

I'm sorry but I don't buy this whole thread and the moment you said 'soulmate' in your OP set my radars going. Maybe I'm just skeptical but I don't believe the story you tell.

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2021 13:00

I would be very surprised if anyone met their soulmate on here.
There’s other websites for that.

eurochick · 05/05/2021 13:10

Yep - two groups. One lovely group from the conception board from a long term ttc thread. We chat daily on a WhatsApp group and have met IRL. Another group from the antenatal clubs. We are still going on Facebook and many of us have met up in real life.

EBearhug · 05/05/2021 13:32

I haven't met my soul mate here, but I've met some great friends. We started by meeting at a public event, but have met separately since then, according to how children, geography and lockdowns work out.

I have other close friends I initially met a couple of decades ago through an online forum.

It's not really so different from meeting people IRL. You might meet someone as parents of children at school, then go to the pub or cinema together, and it builds up (or not) over time. You don't go on holiday together or stay over at someone's house when you first meet (not since student days, anyway,) you get to know each other first and let trust build, and not all friendships develop to that extent - you find you don't have many things in common after all, or have a fundamental disagreement about something that can't be reconciled, or a million other reasons.

TyneFilth · 05/05/2021 13:41

waving at @weebarra, @HettySunshine, and @lovablequalities !

Also I have an off-mumsnet garden chums group, we've gone to RHS shows and stuff together, and some of them are still on here.

Original poster

KirstyT79 · 05/05/2021 17:43

i'm not expecting anything ffs. only thing i think about was a stupid username rather than the thread itss self. my real first name is actually very common and biblical i just didn't give any thoughts to it as regards a forum like this where people use so many random usernames, some of them may have your part real name others just have something really random because you liked it. i see how it looks though but my advice is simple you don't know, don't judge. if i hadn't mentioned my username and being male in that same sentence you mostly would have took the thread as intended, a genuine question. ok i got it wrong but. i'm genuine just a bit stupid. we are all only human. we don't always think things through

OP posts:

Sparechange · 05/05/2021 17:50

Yes!! I have 4 people I count as good friends who I met here on a conception board
And a group of about 15 who I’m on the periphery of but are incredibly close and supportive friends.

We’ve stayed at each other’s houses, I’ve been to one of their weddings, we text most days

I’ve met up with groups of 10+ MNers in the pub on several occasions, and after the first awkward 5 mins, it was brilliant

girlofnow · 05/05/2021 17:52

Yes, the jingle mums

121hugsneeded · 05/05/2021 18:02

I Have through Houzz, but not met anyone from Mumsnet (yet)

Original poster

KirstyT79 · 05/05/2021 18:11

ok off to hide the thread simply because some of you have me and my thread totally wrong and it doesn't seem any matter of explaining is working. stupid idea for a username which i hold my hands up and will change to something more appropriate to me as a man for the next time i post something and will be my permanent username. i am sometimes a bit naive. but all the annonymousness of the boards just got me thinking that people wouldn't really care about it. ps thanks to the people who did give genuine answers. that was all i was curious about as this is such a big forum with people all over the country.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2021 18:22

@KirstyT79

ok off to hide the thread simply because some of you have me and my thread totally wrong and it doesn't seem any matter of explaining is working. stupid idea for a username which i hold my hands up and will change to something more appropriate to me as a man for the next time i post something and will be my permanent username. i am sometimes a bit naive. but all the annonymousness of the boards just got me thinking that people wouldn't really care about it. ps thanks to the people who did give genuine answers. that was all i was curious about as this is such a big forum with people all over the country.

You could just change your username to one that doesn't indicate male or female.

weegiemum · 05/05/2021 18:33

Yes, I now have several real life friends from MN, one who has even come to mine for a holiday with her 3 dc.

We did meet in a neutral place and people knew what I was doing and where I was the first time. There are also a few local people off MN who share a hobby and we meet up (looking forward to starting that again once restrictions are lifted) Plus I have several fb friends more scattered round the country that I know from one specific thread.

Lb1204 · 05/05/2021 18:36

I wouldn't make friends with a man who pretended to be a woman on the internet

TheSpottedZebra · 05/05/2021 18:53

What a creepy thread.

But I am now curious as to what was the tv series that inspired the friendship- was it Our Girl? I remember those threads!

peachgreen · 05/05/2021 19:41

My birth month group are an incredible bunch (hi, Jan Babies 2018!). We have been through a lot as a group, including the tragic loss of one of the babies, and it's brought us all very close. When my DH died they paid for removal men to help me move, and they are always there for emotional support. There have been quite a few meet ups over the years. We just all get on really well. They're my tribe and I wouldn't be without them.

Shannith · 05/05/2021 19:56

Yes - entirely randomly and rather wonderfully.

HartstonesMustard · 05/05/2021 20:38

I have name changed a billion times but back in the day when all this were fields didn't there used to be a MN meet up in London? Small groups of MNetters would arrange to meet up so they didn't go in by themselves and hilarity the day after when your mind had been blown by what you imagined a person would look like and what they actually looked like. But it was a much smaller place back then. I joined in 2006.

I think more people name change now after some were outed in real life plus the whole data leak. But it is lovely to see that people have made friends IRL from different boards on here.

Tillyscoutsmum · 05/05/2021 20:46

Met up with a few people from ante natal thread and still fb friends with them now. One of them is one of my closest friends irl. We did live about 100 miles from each other but she has since moved to the same city (after meeting her soon to be husband during a night out with me in my hometown)