Time off for dependants

[whoami24601]

DS2 was sick last night. A lot! His child minder has a 48hr sickness policy so he can't go back there until Friday. I emailed work and said I wouldn't be in for 2 days and I got a very shirty phone call basically telling me I have to split the days with DH.

For context: I work in the school my kids attend and hate it. I get paid peanuts and am monitored constantly because of the children. DH works through an agency and so his work is not secure. However he does get paid quite a bit more than me but wouldn't get paid if he took the day off. Pre-Covid my parents probably would step in but they're not bubbling with anyone due to health issues, so we have no alternative childcare.

I've looked up the entitlements but all it says is 'reasonable' time off. My question is this: is two days unreasonable to look after a child who is unable to attend childcare? Can they demand we split the time? I felt like I was being told off and I don't know if the fact I don't like the HR woman is affecting the way I feel about this situation.

It's so tempting to but unfortunately my kids attend the school I work in so I'd have to go in to do drop off/ pick up. I'd be being watched like a hawk!

Knowing my luck I'll wake up in the night vomiting now!

OP what’s the worst they can do? Sack you? Highly unlikely if you are otherwise good at your job and don’t take time off often. They’d also be up shit creek with regards to employment law. You can’t just sack people in the public sector.

I think in your situation, because TAs are low paid they are more likely to take the time off if their partner is better paid. Schools know this! I'd take the first day off and then let your partner deal with the second day with his employer.

Here's the legal position op -

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

How is everything today?

Yes I'd seen that but I wasn't sure how it applied to working from home. DH manager was still saying he expected him to work so he rang his manager's manager who authorised it straight away, and gave him it as annual leave so he'll still get paid. Now he's just worrying about how pissed off his boss will be when he has to speak to him on Monday!

It's funny how a man's boss just says no (well until thankfully overruled!) but we expect a woman's boss to be more flexible. We share days off, though I won't claim there aren't disagreements about whose turn it is (and I'm always the one who gets phoned first)

Where l have worked then you would get the one day off and then you would need to make alternative arrangements. There is an alternative, it’s just that you don’t like it

There might not be an alternative (unless able to have annual leave). Time off for dependants is usually an emergency thing, so you have time off for the first day and are expected to make alternative arrangements thereafter. If my dh took that first day and then asked me to take the second, it would no longer be an emergency thing according to our policy. In actual fact both are employers would be fine with it (well, accepting!) as in real life there are not always people who want to take in your vomiting toddler or rash covered baby while you go to work.