Changes for a happier life?

[Wheresmybiscuit3]

Hello all,

Stuck in a bit of a rut and feeling a bit blue. Nothing is actually wrong. We have two lovely children (5+7), our marriage is good, my husband has a good job and I’m self employed... I just feel... blah.

For those that have been here. What’s the best change you’ve made to make yourself feel happier?

Thank you

Getting enough sleep. Total gamechanger. Everything else flows from that.

I am with you. I know all the right things.. Good book, yoga, running, clean sheets, time with friends, self care, meditation, personal improvement, decluttering, being grateful for three things every night... Why am I not ecstatic??

Minimalism and finding a women's group.

Reading Morning Miracle - really sets me up for a good day.
Observing joy in the mundane - watching birds in garden whilst waiting for kettle to boil.
Escapism with a good novel.
Zumba
Seeing friends

Oh OP just stop navel gazing and count your blessings. Seriously.

@FindingMeno

Minimalism and finding a women's group.

What sort of group please and how do you find one?

Look up Red tent groups @Wuurg.
If there isn't one close enough you could maybe start your own.

Learn something new.
Count your blessings.
Volunteer?

Because you need to feel meh to appreciate the opposite. Life is not happy all the time, it just isn't. We've become obsessed with needing to feel happy all the time, it's just not possible.

@sundaysurfer

Getting enough sleep. Total gamechanger. Everything else flows from that.

I came on to say exactly this

Get a vibrator

Sleep, nice food, warmth, a good cuppa and something I enjoy doing.

@KateWinsome

Oh OP just stop navel gazing and count your blessings. Seriously.

I don’t think it is navel gazing as such. I think it’s more that I can’t actually remember the last time I felt truly happy.

I’m not happy, nor actually sad... it’s middling. I really don’t know how to describe it. I do count my blessings but perhaps not often enough.

I know it's a cliche - but focussing on what I have, not what I don't have.

I also think you have to create your own joy in life, otherwise life will pass you by. I have lots of little things that make me feel happy - growing huge sunflowers, painting my toe nails etc.

You have to find your own happiness and make the best life you can.

@sundaysurfer

Getting enough sleep. Total gamechanger. Everything else flows from that.

I definitely don’t get enough sleep. My husband has sleep apnea and struggles to keep his mask on for more than a few hours. I find myself staying up later and later just to get some peace and quiet.

That’s probably counter productive! I’ll add that to the list

@FindingMeno

Minimalism and finding a women's group.

I do feel buried in stuff. We have too much crap. I bought the organised mum method to give me a kick up the bum.

Are you mentally stimulated at work? I know that’s an odd thing to ask but learning and being mentally stimulated is important to wellbeing and more important to some than others.
Maybe there’s something you’re interested in that you could learn more about? Free courses or non fiction books?
Social connection is also important.
Some travelling? Local and further afield are both stimulating.

Over the last few months I've realised when I feel really happy and content is after a family walk, when there's a nice dinner cooking. Must be the fresh air, greenery, vitamin D and then feeling on top of it with a nice dinner - normally nutritious and home cooked so guilt free.

Exercise is an amazing mood lifter!

I practice gratitude. Rather than thinking I am unlucky for some of the shit that has happened to me, I think about the bits I am lucky for. It completely changes your outlook and re-wires your brain!
800 kids a day die from drinking dirty water, I know people on mumsnet hate people saying there is always someone worse off than you but there really is!! I thank the universe/God for what I do have, including a treatment plan for a serious illness, and remaining loved ones in the face of bereavement. Won’t work for everyone but it works for me.

Meditation. It's been a total game changer for me. Just 5 minutes each day.
I've gone from feeling like you, to getting up each morning happy, content, willing to just be in the moment. I start the day with a glass of water and I spend half an hour exercising (I'm disabled so it's stretching and whatnot, nice easy ones) I never thought I'd be the kind of person who woke up and exercised but here I am. I then do my journal and eat breakfast with cuppa before the school run.
I'm sleeping better, not in as much pain with my disabilities and my mood has improved.

Join the Ramblers or I’d you don’t want company, aim to go on long coastal or countryside walks.

Nothing beats being outside and appreciating the beauty of nature and wildlife.

Take time to learn the names of trees, wild flowers, birds and birdsong, butterflies etc.

I like sleep, reading, mediation,
Exercise, being outdoors, learning and limited socialising. Journalling is also good.

But when i am really struggling i find making an effort and spending a little time
On myself. To do my make up and my hair. Call me vain but if i look like shit i feel like shit.

I think i'd spend some time analysing what is about a good days that made you feel good and what it is on a bad day that made you feel a bit meh and working out what you need to do more of to hang onto the good vibes.

@FindingMeno

Look up Red tent groups *@Wuurg*. If there isn't one close enough you could maybe start your own.

Thank you v much

Navel gazing was a bit harsh of me OP. I think I was probably addressing myself