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Original poster

Can´t survive on salary without benefits. Doesn´t seem right.

625 replies

Fashionesta · 27/04/2021 14:19

Just wondered if anyone else was in the same boat as feeling a bit miserable. Recently started new job, 31K a year, felt happy with that, potential to grow. Having done all my calculations and bills, if it were not for getting some money towards housing, I would be 300 pounds a month short :(

After pension I get around 1800 per month. Rent is 950 and I have one of the cheaper properties in my area so no ability to find anything cheaper - its me and DD in a 2 bed. No luxuries at all. Basic mobile phone on giff gaff 8 per month, no SKY etc, old car although paying off car loan of 150 month which bumps outgoings up. By the time I have paid all my bills, council tax, loan, after school club for DD and swimming lessons for her which I feel is essential, if it weren´t for the fact that I get some help towards rent, I would be -300 per month.

I generally feel like I earn a decent wage and panicking a bit about the situation. Not asking for a solution really as I think I am quite frugal, also sensible so pay for life insurance, car insurance, pet insurance and house insurance. Pay TV licence and so on. Shop at Tesco.

Anyone else don´t feel like they are getting by on what I actually consider a decent wage (although I realise in MN terms I am probably not earning much at all).'

Argh I just hate feeling poor all the time and I shouldn´t have to rely on benefits when on 31K surely!

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 27/04/2021 19:59

@ivfbeenbusy

the government does virtually nothing to make absent parents pay for their kids.

Why should they? Many women have children with men they know are useless/feckless/not likely to be around or pay up? Therefore a certain amount of responsibility has to be born by the woman surely?

Bloody hell. This thread is getting worse !!
ivfbeenbusy · 27/04/2021 20:00

Why? It's a genuine question? Why do people have children with men they know won't stick around? Abs they know they'll end up raising a family on one income?

I'm not saying the OP knew in this situation but it does happen

molojoko · 27/04/2021 20:01

Fucking hell. Sorry I suggested there was anything that she could do in any circumstances. I clearly know fuck all about it.

(I lived in a shed and pissed in a bottle for years. What smug twats.)

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General money
4cats2kids · 27/04/2021 20:02

The cost of having a roof is so hard on single mums. Don’t know what the solution is but I would feel fed up in the ops situation.

Benelovencd · 27/04/2021 20:03

Now women are being blamed for men's choices. The single mothers who actually assume their responsibility and do what they are supposed to do are somehow at fault for these men's decisions.

FFS. Relationships end. People change. People move abroad to be closer to their families, have better opportunities or escape their responsibilities. How the fuck is that the OP or any single mother's fault?

Who needs the patriarchy when women are doing a far better job of putting down other women.

XingMing · 27/04/2021 20:03

I think I woud be inclined to ditch the pet insurance, frankly. It is vastly overpriced and in any serious pet health crisis, your best and cheapest decision is PTS. Vet meds are expensive, and while I adore my dog, there's really no way on earth that I would put veterinary care ahead of rent and food for my family, especially if it was a long-drawn-out chronic condition. I would be very hard-hearted about it. But I grew up in the country, and to a degree, you do have to make a choice between the animal's quality of life and what it will cost to provide the quality of life the animal deserves.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 27/04/2021 20:05

@ivfbeenbusy

Why? It's a genuine question? Why do people have children with men they know won't stick around? Abs they know they'll end up raising a family on one income?

I'm not saying the OP knew in this situation but it does happen

So as well as knowing how to get absent fathers to pay you also have the gift of foresight! What a marvel you are.

Oh no, wait. You're just a smug judgemental arsehole.

GappyValley · 27/04/2021 20:06

@ivfbeenbusy

the government does virtually nothing to make absent parents pay for their kids.

Why should they? Many women have children with men they know are useless/feckless/not likely to be around or pay up? Therefore a certain amount of responsibility has to be born by the woman surely?

I cannot believe you actually think the government has no responsibility to force men to pay No one can be that stupid

Are you just trolling with your increasingly horrible comments?
Or do you genuinely believe the things you’re saying?

I don’t know which is worse tbh

Nats1984 · 27/04/2021 20:11

I know , I was surprised that was the rent when I swapped to here I think because it’s an old house with a downstairs bathroom and no CH upstairs, it’s so darn pretty though I don’t mind , identical rent to the ugly flat with no lift out in a very meh bit of Hertfordshire I came from. Super grateful for this place. The timing was perfect as I’ve been unwell and needed to change my lifestyle and career.

felulageller · 27/04/2021 20:12

Tax credits under labour were much better than UC under the Tories (I don't vote for either).

The cost of living is crazy compared to incomes.

This is why the abortion rate is up- it's much harder to be a single parent now than 20 years ago.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 27/04/2021 20:13

the government does virtually nothing to make absent parents pay for their kids

They should do far more I agree. How many would be up in arms though if they said no more benefits and parents have to pay for their own children or face penalties if not? I’d imagine the number of resident parents not paying themselves financially are high on top of the non resident parents.

Allwokedup · 27/04/2021 20:15

I agree, very sad @Fashionesta you're doing well though and when your daughter is older it will be easier for you.

sugarlost · 27/04/2021 20:16

Maybe before people are intimate the man has to sign a contract that he will pay for any children that may be producedGrin...he could be microchipped and traced anywhere in the world.....

KermitLovesMe · 27/04/2021 20:25

I totally agree with you OP. House prices have got so far out of control, it's difficult to get by.

burritofan · 27/04/2021 20:29

So many oddballs on this thread with more sympathy for grifters landlords with a mere tragic one (1) investment property to their name than for someone trying to bloody survive.

Those of you witches suggesting OP gives up the dog and the swimming lessons and moves 100s of miles away, what effect do you think that will have on her primary-aged DD?

BrightYellowDaffodil · 27/04/2021 20:32

I think I woud be inclined to ditch the pet insurance, frankly. It is vastly overpriced and in any serious pet health crisis, your best and cheapest decision is PTS.

Hahahahahaha. Oh wait, you were serious, weren’t you? Yup, screw the dog if it gets something wrong with it that could be easily remedied, just have them take the poor scrap out the back and bye bye Fido, we did a cost/benefit analysis and you weren’t worth it.

Never mind the moral aspect of putting down a relatively healthy living animal. Fucking hell, is there some sort of humanity-bypass in the air? Hmm

Camdenish · 27/04/2021 20:37

Thanks Gappy.

The London living wage factors in such luxury’s as a coffee or sandwich out occasionally. It’s living, not existing.

Sweak · 27/04/2021 20:38

@ivfbeenbusy sometimes in life people don't turn out to be who we think they are. I don't know anyone who would have a baby with someone they genuinely thought was feckless.

To be honest you are starting to sound misogynistic...women are to blame for absent father's not paying up? And to blame for not having a crystal ball?

I think it's the absent parent who holds responsibility for not contributing.

I admire single parents. It's bloody hard enough with two of you.

Malbucket · 27/04/2021 20:39

OP is more than enough and doing more than most to provide for her child and herself! We are all at fault here. Not many have the capacity to care for or even contemplate other peoples situations when they are 'comfortable' or have no lived experience of it themselves. I pray our children will continue to challenge the values of our society and corruption of our government and feel empowered enough bring about real change. No one needs to 'fail' for another to 'succeed'.

MovingNorthards · 27/04/2021 20:40

OP, it's so hard and unfair - but don't go part-time or reduce your pension contributions. The work experience will help you get on. Year by year you will hopefully get increments or be promoted, and the wraparound costs will reduce eventually.

The welfare system is there to support people during temporary periods of vulnerability, and smooth income over the lifecycle. OP is also raising a child who will one day be funding our pensions.

angela99999 · 27/04/2021 20:41

My daughter is a single parent earning much the same as you @Fashionesta but does not have to pay rent - though she does have high outgoings on service charges for her home (£250 p.m.) and manages to save too.
You're right, it really is the rent that makes the difference and makes a huge difference to your quality of life.
I agree with you, it is really mad that someone on a reasonable salary like yours should still need to claim benefits to make ends meet. I hope for your sake that you'll be able to sort out a mortgage in a while, as your career progresses.

JediGnot · 27/04/2021 20:46

@Ithinkyoucan

People bang on endlessly about greedy landlords but most landlords only have one property they let. The profit is normally 5%. There are a lot of costs to being landlord, its not like the rent is all going straight into their pockets. Landlords are no 'greedier' than homeowners selling their homes at high prices, often making huge profits for doing nothing at all. The problem is the shite state of our housing market, not individual landlords or homeowners.
I tend to agree. Not least as some people are only landlords because they feel that it is their best option in their circumstances in a cruel version of capitalism designed to benefit asset owners and the very rich. A version of capitalism that said person detests and consistently votes against and comes on forums to criticize.

FWIW even the tories are anti-landlord. Or small landlord. If a company borrows money to buy a house and rent it out they can claim the interest as a tax deductible expense. Individuals who own property no longer can. As a result it is now possible, as a landlord, to make a pre-tax loss over the year and still owe the government tax!

I am not moaning or complaining, just stating facts.

Landlords are lucky - they had the money to put down a deposit. They make money not working.

The whole system is a mess. The problem is not landlords or homeowners or renters or companies. The problem is voters voting for the tory party, a party who believe in free markets aka markets where the very richest people and biggest companies can do what they want, make a fortune and even get their staff's wages subsidized by government.

Neo-liberalism has been the economic model since 1980 and it is doing EXACTLY what it is designed to do - benefit the rich at the expense of the poor, ordinary people and even pretty damn well off ordinary people.

The only benefit of brexit is that it will probably reduce population growth and put some minor downward pressure on house prices, but I don't see a big effect.

Malbucket · 27/04/2021 20:49

If we are just bothered with money the funniest thing is OP is really paying the majority of her own 'top up' benefits herself as she is also paying tax on what she earns!

GreenWillow · 27/04/2021 20:49

@ivfbeenbusy

the government does virtually nothing to make absent parents pay for their kids.

Why should they? Many women have children with men they know are useless/feckless/not likely to be around or pay up? Therefore a certain amount of responsibility has to be born by the woman surely?

There was a really interesting thread on here a few years ago, the consensus of which was that choosing the father of their DC was the single most important decision a woman makes in her life.
BlanketyBlanky · 27/04/2021 20:50

When I was earning 31k in London in the noughties I shared a 3 bed flat with 2 other professionals. No way did I consider living alone. It would have probably been possible but it would have meant a terrible compromise on location and spare cash.

Even if the dad paid for half of the child, the OP would still have to pay roughly equivalent to a single person, which is so much more than half of a working couple.

Life is financially tough for single people, it does seem horribly unfair but I guess that is why the benefits make sense in this case.