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Original poster

Can´t survive on salary without benefits. Doesn´t seem right.

625 replies

Fashionesta · 27/04/2021 14:19

Just wondered if anyone else was in the same boat as feeling a bit miserable. Recently started new job, 31K a year, felt happy with that, potential to grow. Having done all my calculations and bills, if it were not for getting some money towards housing, I would be 300 pounds a month short :(

After pension I get around 1800 per month. Rent is 950 and I have one of the cheaper properties in my area so no ability to find anything cheaper - its me and DD in a 2 bed. No luxuries at all. Basic mobile phone on giff gaff 8 per month, no SKY etc, old car although paying off car loan of 150 month which bumps outgoings up. By the time I have paid all my bills, council tax, loan, after school club for DD and swimming lessons for her which I feel is essential, if it weren´t for the fact that I get some help towards rent, I would be -300 per month.

I generally feel like I earn a decent wage and panicking a bit about the situation. Not asking for a solution really as I think I am quite frugal, also sensible so pay for life insurance, car insurance, pet insurance and house insurance. Pay TV licence and so on. Shop at Tesco.

Anyone else don´t feel like they are getting by on what I actually consider a decent wage (although I realise in MN terms I am probably not earning much at all).'

Argh I just hate feeling poor all the time and I shouldn´t have to rely on benefits when on 31K surely!

OP posts:
AColdDuncanGoodhew · 27/04/2021 19:26

[quote SuziQuatrosFatNan]@AColdDuncanGoodhew lol. You forgot:

  • walk to work. From your lovely little house in Yorkshire to (presumably) SE England.[/quote]
Oh yes! That too.

I live in the West of Scotland where you can rent a 2 bed flat for £450, why hasn’t OP moved up here?! So inconsiderate.

balloonsandboobies · 27/04/2021 19:28

@Babyroobs sorry you are right. It's £179 a week. Still not enough to rent a one bed property plus council tax and all bills in large parts of the country.

Babyroobs · 27/04/2021 19:29

[quote balloonsandboobies]@Babyroobs sorry you are right. It's £179 a week. Still not enough to rent a one bed property plus council tax and all bills in large parts of the country. [/quote]
True.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General money
FreshFancyFrogglette · 27/04/2021 19:29

It all comes down to extortionate rent prices. Keeps us in poverty.

SuziQuatrosFatNan · 27/04/2021 19:29

Probably too busy giving her dog swimming lessons and luxuriating in her multiple insurance policies like the popinjay she is. And we're paying for it!!! My DH understands all about business and he says we're mugs!!!

Coffeepot72 · 27/04/2021 19:30

OP, I totally get what you’re saying, it’s mad that you can earn decent money but still struggle to make ends meet. And don’t ever apologise for having a dog!

balloonsandboobies · 27/04/2021 19:33

@SuziQuatrosFatNan

Probably too busy giving her dog swimming lessons and luxuriating in her multiple insurance policies like the popinjay she is. And we're paying for it!!! My DH understands all about business and he says we're mugs!!!
Grin
Iamthewombat · 27/04/2021 19:34

Some people won't be happy until OP comes back and says she's living in rags and decided to eat the pet instead of daring to go to Tesco

This

For those saying you're paying insurance/you have a car/you should be in a one-bed/your daughter shouldn't have a hobby, Jesus fucking wept. Must everything be a race to the bottom? Must everyone who struggles to get by in life be downgraded to gruel and rags in a hovel in case they accidentally have some joy in their lives?

And this. I had to go back and check that I hadn’t misread the post helpfully informing the OP that someone had moved to a one bed and sleeps on the sofa. What the eff? The OP works full time! Why should she sleep on a sodding sofa?

GappyValley · 27/04/2021 19:34

@Crabbypaddy

If my calculations are right that would be around £750 per month into a pension, that’s awful steep.
Your calculations are almost certainly not right.
Camdenish · 27/04/2021 19:35

Fashionesta you’re totally not being unreasonable! BUT how do I check out if I could be entitled too? I wouldn’t know where to start. I’ve never claimed UC so is there a rough guide somewhere? I don’t want to fill in loads of forms to be told it’s a no go.

Member869894 · 27/04/2021 19:36

op would it be worth paying much more into your pension so as to reduce your gross salary? Would you be able to claim more benefits then?

GappyValley · 27/04/2021 19:37

@Camdenish

Fashionesta you’re totally not being unreasonable! BUT how do I check out if I could be entitled too? I wouldn’t know where to start. I’ve never claimed UC so is there a rough guide somewhere? I don’t want to fill in loads of forms to be told it’s a no go.
www.entitledto.co.uk/

You’re welcome

Babyroobs · 27/04/2021 19:38

@Iamthewombat

Some people won't be happy until OP comes back and says she's living in rags and decided to eat the pet instead of daring to go to Tesco

This

For those saying you're paying insurance/you have a car/you should be in a one-bed/your daughter shouldn't have a hobby, Jesus fucking wept. Must everything be a race to the bottom? Must everyone who struggles to get by in life be downgraded to gruel and rags in a hovel in case they accidentally have some joy in their lives?

And this. I had to go back and check that I hadn’t misread the post helpfully informing the OP that someone had moved to a one bed and sleeps on the sofa. What the eff? The OP works full time! Why should she sleep on a sodding sofa?

Nothing about op's situation makes me fume except the fact that so many men get away with paying nothing towards their kids whilst the state pays so much. I know that in this situation he is abroad and there realistically is not much can be done but this is replicated thousand and thousands of times in the uk and the government does virtually nothing to make absent parents pay for their kids. Other countries are so much tougher on this.
roarfeckingroarr · 27/04/2021 19:39

Swimming lessons should not be seen as a luxury ffs

SuziQuatrosFatNan · 27/04/2021 19:41

You'd think. But apparently a bed is a fucking luxury now so all bets are off tbh.

Babyroobs · 27/04/2021 19:42

@Camdenish

Fashionesta you’re totally not being unreasonable! BUT how do I check out if I could be entitled too? I wouldn’t know where to start. I’ve never claimed UC so is there a rough guide somewhere? I don’t want to fill in loads of forms to be told it’s a no go.
If you have savings or capital over 16k it will be a no go. from the start. Other than that it depends on income, how many children. rent amount etc, childcare.
Azelll · 27/04/2021 19:42

OP, I haven't RTFT but I can see the usual ridiculous comments that crop up anytime someone mentions benefits.

I'm in a very similar position to you, studied very hard and have a fairly well paid job but I still rely on top-up and will do for a few years.

What's even worse is that many, including myself, would be no worse (or better off) with a low-paid, part-time job. I just have to remind myself that in the long term, I will be better off.

Ignore the ridiculous comments. The top-up is to spend how you wish, and IMO, you are spending it wisely and contributing enough in taxes yourself to afford a good standard of living. Some people won't be happy until you are left with the bare minimum, by which point there would be no use in working, you would be better off solely relying on benefits.

Iamthewombat · 27/04/2021 19:45

the government does virtually nothing to make absent parents pay for their kids.

Well, it does quite a lot if the absent parent is in the U.K. but if the OP’s ex is living abroad and not contributing, chasing him for maintenance would cost a fortune and it would be next to impossible to make a foreign jurisdiction apply an attachment of earnings.

I’m in full sympathy with the OP. Stupidly expensive housing costs are clobbering her. If only she’d move to Wolverhampton or Middlesbrough, eh? Or live in a tent.

Babyroobs · 27/04/2021 19:50

@Iamthewombat

the government does virtually nothing to make absent parents pay for their kids.

Well, it does quite a lot if the absent parent is in the U.K. but if the OP’s ex is living abroad and not contributing, chasing him for maintenance would cost a fortune and it would be next to impossible to make a foreign jurisdiction apply an attachment of earnings.

I’m in full sympathy with the OP. Stupidly expensive housing costs are clobbering her. If only she’d move to Wolverhampton or Middlesbrough, eh? Or live in a tent.

I'm constantly reading on MN where ex partners in the UK hide their income, report low self employment figures etc in order to avoid CM.
Original poster
Fashionesta · 27/04/2021 19:51

For those asking about checking entitlement, try a website like turntous or entitled to.

Honestly though, some of these comments. I've worked hard all my life, had a late career change, educated at post graduate level and do a job which actually helps a lot of sectors of society. But I should sleep on a sofa and sent my child any entertainment. Jesus wept. Pp was right, Mumsnet really is a race to the bottom at times.

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 27/04/2021 19:52

@Iamthewombat

the government does virtually nothing to make absent parents pay for their kids.

Well, it does quite a lot if the absent parent is in the U.K. but if the OP’s ex is living abroad and not contributing, chasing him for maintenance would cost a fortune and it would be next to impossible to make a foreign jurisdiction apply an attachment of earnings.

I’m in full sympathy with the OP. Stupidly expensive housing costs are clobbering her. If only she’d move to Wolverhampton or Middlesbrough, eh? Or live in a tent.

They definitely don't do a lot in the UK otherwise the unpaid child maintenance bill every year wouldn't be in the billions.
ivfbeenbusy · 27/04/2021 19:53

@doomonic

I genuinely want to know how and why a father chooses not to contribute to his child's upbringing. It's a disgrace the way some fathers ignore their parental responsibility.

It is a disgrace but how can the OP answer for her child's father?

Having a child with him was a joint decision though no? In fact MN would say since it's a woman's body it's solely the woman's choice to have a child? Fair enough if the father upping and leaving the country was a bolt out of the blue and he did a runner in the middle of the night but i doubt it played out that way?

ivfbeenbusy · 27/04/2021 19:55

the government does virtually nothing to make absent parents pay for their kids.

Why should they? Many women have children with men they know are useless/feckless/not likely to be around or pay up? Therefore a certain amount of responsibility has to be born by the woman surely?

SuziQuatrosFatNan · 27/04/2021 19:55

Be nice if you did so though.

SuziQuatrosFatNan · 27/04/2021 19:56

That was re upping and leaving the country, to be clear.