Man keeps staring at me

[AdviceSeek]

Hi all

I wanted some advice, what would you do if you were me..

There is a man in my area, who I don’t know personally and have seen a handful of times in the last few weeks.

He walks through my street, usually with a shopping bag so I’m assuming it’s his route from shops to home.

Anyway, the first time I’d seen him I was standing in my kitchen window doing the dishes as window is above sink and he kept looking up as he walked by. He didn’t look away not for a single second. I kept looking back at him because I was just a bit freaked out but maybe I should’ve looked away.

Second time I saw him he was in my street while I was walking with my kids, again, he had a shopping bag so was probably on route home.

Literally 10mins ago, he walks through my street again with a shopping bag, this time I’m just sat at my lounge window catching some sun and he’s staring up again. I was in my own little world and didn’t even realise it was him, it’s only when I looked down at the street he was already looking up at me.

Look guys I’m a bit freaked out, it’s one thing to cross paths outside but is this man going to keep looking up at my windows each time he goes shopping?

What would you do?

Anyone

Obviously its difficult to tell what's coincidental and what's deliberate in terms of frequency of him appearing on your street. I'm sure the staring up or in at you is deliberate. Catching your eye the first time seems to have triggered something in him. Either he thinks there's a positive connection or a negative challenge... or he's just plain nosey!
I think I'd stay away from the windows for a while to break the cycle of behaviour. I understand you want to be free to do as you please in your home, but that's what I'd do quite honestly.
Engaging in eye contact (not blaming you) seems to be fuelling him in some strange way.
I'd put up some of that privacy sticker stuff on my kitchen window . Absolutely rotten for you to feel this in your own home but I'd be proactive against him.

You need blinds or something like that so that even if he stares he can't see anything. I feel for you - it sounds horrible.

@HollowTalk @Happylittlethoughts I have blinds in kitchen and lounge but I keep them opened during the day to allow sunlight in. I’m now thinking he probably stares in even when I’m not at the window. I will make a point to keep them closed over the next few days so he doesn’t catch a glimpse at all.

Definitely feeling uncomfortable, if it was just in passing he stared it would be different but to be looking up at the windows is a bit scary x

@Happylittlethoughts I think I cocked up by looking back the first time, he maybe thinks I was looking in a positive way, I was actually just freaked out hoping he would look away but even as he passed my house he kept turning back to look!

Some people eyes are drawn to uncovered windows as they walk along the street, there's little else to look at. If the whole front of your house is open to view you can bet he's not the only one looking in 🤷🏻‍♀️

@GreyhoundG1rl I understand where you’re coming from but I’m not on the ground floor, it’s like he is looking for me x

[quote AdviceSeek]@GreyhoundG1rl I understand where you’re coming from but I’m not on the ground floor, it’s like he is looking for me x[/quote]
Oh... Yes, that's different

I would contemplate getting some shutter blinds x

@Peachee with the summer coming and lovely weather they would be open all day, same as my current blinds. I don’t intend to sit in the dark because of this man, I think if I were to see him outside I might just ask why he keeps staring. My mum said that’s a bad idea tho x

Yeah I agree with your mum it could make it worse. I know you shouldn't have to but what about some sort of voile to cover the windows?
Maybe he's just nosy?

@HectorHalloumi - perhaps, or he thinks I like looking at him back

I would put nets up.
It does sound like he's making a bee line for your windows, possibly the type of man who hugely .misinterpret any kind of response from a female. By not looking away he could (wrongly) interpret that as slight interest.
I wouldn't engage him.

I would be careful op. Definitely so not confront him. Put up a window covering for a few weeks. Don’t make eye contact. This might cause him to lose interest

To be honest he could be starting a similar thread saying woman’s always at her window staring at me when I look up. Could be one of these awkward situations where you’re now both looking for it.

Agree with some of the others. This is odd and I feel for you - it would super freak me out. You need to somehow 'break' that cycle so that he's not expecting you there and loses interest. So whether that's blinds, voiles, net curtains (some seriously nice ones about), you need to break that connection when he looks in. It would also send a message without aggression - don't look in.

Thanks all - definitely won’t engage with him if I see him in person and will also try and keep away from the windows and keep blinds minimally open x

If you catch him looking again Immediately frown and close your blinds. Should send the message. If he continues after that you know you’ve got an actual issue rather than someone being accidentally odd.

@Bluntness100 I understand your point but even once he passes my window he keeps turning back, if I was interested I’d crack a smile or wave. I’m married with two kids and he’s just making me uneasy x

@Thatswatshesaid that’s actually a great idea, never thought of that one. That would send a direct message without any need of interaction x

We have sheer blinds. So light can get in but people can’t see in. And we can also put them up if we want.

Old fashioned but effective: put up nets (there are all sorts available ) - they allow in the light and air (and you can see out) but he won't be able to see you.

He sounds weird.

I wouldn’t engage - even a frown is engaging and i think this could feed interest

Get a camera

Thanks everyone x