I just wanna talk to my mammy

[fightingirish]

She died 8 weeks ago, and all I have is a voice mail, I think it's just hit me this eve, I can't pull myself together

I'm so very sorry, would you like to tell us about her?

I hope you're being gentle with yourself tonight and not fighting the grief

You poor thing, I am so sorry.

When I went through this, I took out old and newer photos with her in them, cried buckets and spoke out loud about the pics to her. I ended up smiling through my tears.

Talk to her, even if silently. It helps a lot.

I'm so sorry. I wish I had something that would ease this pain for you.

Oh lovey. So sorry xx

I know and sympathise! I used to listen to her last voice mail on my office phone over and over. Just today I was crying and wishing I could talk to her (she died 16 years ago).

Bless. You could write her a letter. That might help a little.

She was lovely, typical hard working Irish mammy, sick for 6 weeks start to finish, only young, 63, I spent all my young years avoiding her cause she was doing my head in! God I wish I could I didn't waste that time

Do you look like her, op?

I just took myself off to bed, it just hit me like a bus, dh thinks I have hay fever! I've just realised my mam Is gone, I can't even describe the feeling

I'm so so very sorry. My mum died 7 weeks ago and I had a massive wobble today too.

You are very much in my thoughts, surround yourself with happy memories and I hope tomorrow is an easier day for you

@DShrute no I don't I'm totally opposite!

I'm so sorry for your loss. Take it easy while you grieve her passing. It all happened very fast and grief can hit you at any time. 💚💚💚

@tigerbread20 it's awful isint it? I thought I was ok, I really thought i was dealing with it, today I just realised how far I was away from home, and Covid restrictions took the big Irish funeral celebrations away from us, and I heard a fucking song and all my strength crumbled

She sounds wonderful, op. Youre right, 63 is no age at all, it's very cruel.

I think the regrets you have from when you were younger are what we' all will / do feel when we lose our parents, but for them they see us spreading our wings and learning to live an independent life. No parent would want to deny their child that experience.

Grief comes in waves and out of the blue, over time the power of the waves will be lessen - it doesn't mean you stop missing or loving her but you find ways to bear it.

If you'd like to share memories with us please do so, it would be a privilege to read them but no pressure.

It's tough isn't it. My Mum died nearly five years ago and the grief still hits me.
I really miss just chatting about nothing much in particular, eating cake and drinking coffee.

[quote fightingirish]@tigerbread20 it's awful isint it? I thought I was ok, I really thought i was dealing with it, today I just realised how far I was away from home, and Covid restrictions took the big Irish funeral celebrations away from us, and I heard a fucking song and all my strength crumbled [/quote]
The worst thing I've ever experienced. I went to call her and invite her round for dinner tonight and it hit me I can't do that anymore and all day I've been a state, DH thinks I've had a bad day for hay-fever too.
They might not get it but I do so if you ever want to talk please feel free to message me

So sorry op. It's still such early days. I have an Irish mummy and I think it's expected that we avoid them when we're young lol- million and one questions!

I’m so sorry OP, it must have been an awful shock. 63 is no age at all

My mum died in January - step dad (irish) really struggled with the lack of the usual funeral things too. Much love to you. it takes a long time to process this stuff and feel some kind of equilibrium. Use the support around you and keep posting if you need support. Love to you.

I hope the voicemail was a good one...

I had to delete the last one from my dad, as it was him asking me to call him. When I did (he was already in hospital), it was to tell me they had found a tumour, and asking me to break the news to my mum ).

Losing a parent is so tough, OP.

Sending you a big hug. My mum died last year and I get these sudden plunges where I can’t believe she’s gone, then I pick myself up and truck on again until the next one. Be kind and patient with yourself.

When mum died I would call her phone just to hear the answer machine.

Sorry for your loss.

@Roodicus21 ye have to avoid ur Ma! She couldn't be knowing what ye be up too! God we would be in mass for 12 months!

My mam, I moved too uk years ago, didn't see her a lot, didn't return the calls, she had a knack of calling when I was at work, went abroad when I could have gone home for a few days, didn't send the cards, guilt has set in, I thought she would always be there,

Grief isn’t a straight line... it’s up and down. It’s only been a short time. When you need a good cry and time, go with it. My dad died 3 years ago, I was sat up last night maudlin. It does get easier, but I don’t think it ever goes, and I don’t think I’d want it too. I loved him, I miss him and he’s not here. Quite honestly, it’s shit. The absence of a funeral is a hard thing, it gives comfort to know they were loved . Maybe plan a remembrance on the year anniversary?

I am so sorry, she loved you so much xxx