I just wanna talk to my mammy

[fightingirish]

She died 8 weeks ago, and all I have is a voice mail, I think it's just hit me this eve, I can't pull myself together

Still talking to mine, and she's been gone seven years. Still find myself thinking 'Haven't seen my mum for a while, I really must go round'. You talk to her. Tell her what you think. She'll know.

So sad to read this. Your mammy knew u loved her for sure. She probably spent all those years worrying about U and now you’re realising it . She sounds fabulous .

Talk to her, it helps

I am so sorry for your loss and for all the extra hardships of restrictions.
I think there will be good days and bad days -it doesn't mean you're not coping if you need to cry for her.
If you can bear it, try writing down a few memories even it's little details. It's painful to do but nice to come back to the next time grief hits you.
Sending love and strength your way.

I'm sorry

My mum died in 2012. Today for the first time in ages it went through my mind, need to phone mum...

It gets easier but never goes away

I have mums picture beside my bed, i say night night to her every night in my mind and i swear her expression changes every time

Op we all don’t pick up the calls... mammys are a special breed 🙈😆she was no age and you should have had years left. Don’t beat yourself up, I really don’t think she’d want it

Oh OP, I’m so sorry, it’s so hard to lose your mum, such a crushing feeling of loss and loneliness. I promise you won’t feel like this forever, although it will hit you like a train on odd occasions, these will become fewer and further between and you’ll find you’ll be able to think of your mum without feeling awful. This will come in time. 8 weeks is still so soon. Sending love and strength to you xxx

Aw fighting mind yourself x
I do think in Irish culture, the funeral and wake and all the ceremony around a death is such an important part of the healing. And this bloody virus has robbed us of this rite.
Let the grief come.

I’m so sorry. I think talking to her a good idea. And maybe wrapping yourself in a jumper of hers and breathing in the scent of her if that’s possible. xxx

I'll be ok, tomorrow is a new day, she was so house proud, I'm so like her that way, she had such taste in fantastic bedding, she loved matching sets and throw, she was a nurse, worked the Covid wards up to Xmas, she loved her caravan, had it filled with pure shite! Bloody thing never left the yard at home, yet the net curtains were immaculate and the cups in the press in order! Even though we are Irish she loved the royals! She would have loved the Harry and Megan disaster, diana was her hero, she always said Charles was a prick! The kettle at home was never cold, she was mad for the cups of tea, no matter who you were if ye walked in the door at home you would get fed, she had no time for crying baby's, she would say feed that bloody child or stick a dummy in her mouth! There was never a washing basket at home, every Sunday night, 8 uniforms were hung on the back of chairs in the kitchen washed and ironed, they just magically appeared, she had no time for messing or high notions! I told her I'd bought a Range Rover, she told me not to bring that yoke home with me, the neighbours would think I was above myself! She was gas,

I'm totally feeling this too. I lost my dad 4 weeks ago. I go to call and remember he's not there to answer. Sending you much love

She sounds brilliant- such an Irish mammy.

Ah sure pure Irish mammy, swore like a fish wife, but if ye cursed ye would get a crack! I'm nearly 40 and I still ducked from a belt! I think the loss off a real Irish funeral is the biggest loss, at home as ye know a good funeral is better than a bad weddin, 800 ppl watched her funeral online and all the neighbours for miles around stood out on the road for her last journey, the hearse was able to slow outside our home house, (we made sure her nets were spotless) she would have haunted us!

I lost my mum to oesophageal cancer which spread, she was only 67, we only had six months from diagnosis to her death, she refused chemotherapy as it wouldn’t cure her as she was terminal. I miss her every day of the week, even now after 14 years. My dad died when I was 13, he was only 58.

My sister has her ashes on the mantelpiece, she can’t bear to scatter them.

You never forget, it just becomes a little less painful each day, in microscopic amounts.

Hugs xx

So sorry for your loss. I found that with the loss of both my parents, it seemed to hit hard at about the two month time - you're over the funeral and the initial rush of dealing with probate and all the paperwork, and it really hits you then. Grief is a very personal thing and so overwhelming at first. The analogy of huge waves hitting you was one I found very apt. Be gentle with yourself. It is so hard, and without wanting to sound cliched, it takes time, and it's still so raw for you. Take care.

Sorry for your loss.

My dad died 2 weeks ago. Caught covid after spending 2 weeks in hospital (admitted for a procedure that never took place and he was due to get home when someone else tested positive). His second vaccine was due the week before he died. I dunno why they don't vaccinate the elderly once they are admitted. They told us an auxiliary was with him when he died, but I don't actually believe that. We also suspect he died earlier in the day that they said as my mum rang and they fobbed her off.

We're in NI and the funeral was the same day restrictions were lifted, but so many people didn't know they could come in to the chapel, so we probably had about 70-80 with more on the streets. We had a semi wake in the garden also, but again a lot of people didn't know (and we didn't want to draw too much attention to ourselves). I'm still getting messages daily from people who didn't know.

Having a wobble here today too and may have drank a bit too much vodka, lost my mum 6 months ago, had an email from my brother this morning to say her estate is all sorted now, the bank transfers done and we should get our small inheritances into our accounts sometime next week.

Mum was very frugal and it feels strange that I will have part of her savings that took her years to accumulate, she didn't like spending money, loved having her own healthy bank balance after dad died, a life of being a traditional housewife, and would not want us to splurge it on something frivolous, or anything really. I have no idea what to do with it that she would actually approve off , just want her back instead.

@fightingirish cry yourself blind you poor divil. a million years wouldn't be enough with your mammy but 63 is terribly young. I am truly sorry for your loss. This might sound mad but don't try and avoid grieving, you have to go through it. Your loss is immense and some say the price for a great love. My daddy died 5 years ago and I miss him terribly, there's no such thing as 'getting over' but in time you learn to live alongside the grief. I will be thinking of you and everyone else who has lost a parent on this thread. I found that it helped me to talk about dad and our stories together, use this forum to tell us about your lovely mad mammy x