Writing funeral plans?!

[Happylittlebluebird]

Have any of you done this or am I just plain weird?!!

I like to be organised

@WindyRose Similar here. We live frugally on pretty basic salaries whereas ex is loaded and enjoys buying people. Hot tubs and computers are appealing to teenagers. More important than love sadly!

And I agree with you.

StCharlotte, could you leave your DH a recorded voice message? Unfortunately my DH died very suddenly at 44yo, I was 42 and while we both had a Will we didn't have anything further planned, other than a small, private funeral with no fuss and that's exactly what I did for him.

However, I didn't expect the fallout from outsiders, some were quite horrible...for example, some of his work colleagues expected a big funeral so they could get the day off work and I got some nasty messages about that. By coincidence, the ones who complained the loudest weren't his closest friends at work either, some I had never heard him mention their names.

Sad isn't it, Happy? Hurts but nothing you can do, even though you know you've raised them differently.

Not much consolation, but it happens in so many families and it's through no fault of their own. Mine have been brainwashed by narcissistic spouses and while I've tried so hard to change things it will never happen.

Careful with writing your wishes in your will. Often the will isn't read until after the funeral, unless you leave specific instructions that it should be. The most important thing is to tell people you love what you want. The vast majority of people who have to organise a funeral do it with very little idea of what the person wanted - this can cause enormous stress and guilt at what is already a very upsetting time.

StCharlotte, could you leave your DH a recorded voice message? I think he'd get the fright of his life! We're quite good at talking so I might just tell him.

And WindyRose I'm so sorry about your husband

Fair enough op if you think your family would find it 'hilarious'. I just think it sounds horrible, in bad taste, and really cringey.

@Kittykat93 With all due respect though, I'm not bothered what you think about my song choices. My funeral and you wouldn't be there!

I’ve lost two close relatives who set out their funeral plans and it really helped. It means you have less decisions to make and the funeral is really personal.

Please reconsider writing a will, it can make it much easier for the family left behind.

Fair enough! I'm just giving my opinion, you did post it on a forum for people to comment on after all :).

We haven't written a will but have asked my OH's sister if she would be guardian of our daughter if we both died. As older parents our parents are too old. Tbh, my SIL jokes she is too old at 50!!!

Yes, I have a google doc that I put ideas in that I try to neaten up each year and print out a copy that goes in the same filing section as my will and similar documents. I have a few priorities, nice to haves, random fun ideas I've found.

I don't think it's so odd in your forties. I've had a will and funeral plans since my twenties.

With a little one, Record Me Now, an app that has questions based on research on what children who have lost their parents wish they could ask, might be something to organize.

"We haven't written a will but have asked my OH's sister if she would be guardian of our daughter if we both died. As older parents our parents are too old. Tbh, my SIL jokes she is too old at 50!!!"

How come none of these people would be at your funeral? And you have no friends either?

That aside, you know that should you both die any old random family member won't be allowed to just announce themselves guardian and scoop up your child?

Forget it. Just came across your other thread after posting that.

All is not as it seems here is it? If you do have a daughter of 11 months and your other thread is true then please make sure you ask someone for help