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Original poster

Fucking hell...another racist incident in school!

37 replies

paralysedbyinertia · 23/04/2021 16:24

What the fuck is wrong with some kids that they obsess about other people's skin colour?

Have previously reported racist incident to school concerning mixed race dd. At least one of her friends has also reported stuff. The school seems to take it seriously and they say they're dealing with it. I have no reason to doubt this, but I've just had a call from the deputy head to tell me that there has been another incident. Not directed at dd so he couldn't tell me the detail but he wanted to let me know that she had witnessed it and was apparently very distressed. She isn't home yet, but I know how upset and angry she will be, and I'm so fucking upset and angry on her behalf - and for whichever of her friends it was directed at.

Just need rant, really. Why are some kids such nasty little shits? What is fucking wrong with them?

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 23/04/2021 16:26

Unfortunately students are sponges and if they are brought up in families and social circles where racism is normalised, they don't see anything wrong with such disgusting behaviour.

It's good school are taking it seriously though.

Howmercurialislife · 23/04/2021 16:29

Because they are in environments where they learn that type of bullshit.

I have 2 mixed races DDs and have ad racists comments directed at them from both black and white kids, and black and white adults.

I sometimes fucking despair, I hope your DD is OK.

Howmercurialislife · 23/04/2021 16:29

*had

Original poster
paralysedbyinertia · 23/04/2021 16:30

Yes, I know that some kids are brought up by shitty racist parents, but by 15/16, I expect them to know better tbh.

I have no complaints about the school. I think they do want to tackle the issue, though I'm not sure if they actually know how. I'm glad that they told me, at least, so that I'm prepared for it when dd gets home.

I'm just so fucking angry.

OP posts:
accentdusoleil · 23/04/2021 16:30

Disgusting .

I would seriously start asking the school about what they are doing to eliminate racism . There should be a Zero tolerance attitude towards it.

Original poster
paralysedbyinertia · 23/04/2021 16:33

I'm sorry that your kids have had to deal with this @Howmercurialislife. They shouldn't have to put up with it.

DD will be ok. The teacher said she was distressed, which I take to mean that she cried a lot. Knowing my dd, that means rage rather than upset.

OP posts:
C130 · 23/04/2021 16:33

That is a good question. I do not have the answers. I do know that I wish that black and brown people could just live their life's without their colour being a problem to some people. I hope your daughter will not be too upset by this incident.

Howmercurialislife · 23/04/2021 16:34

At that age my eldest DD was getting alot of, why don't you talk/dress/act like a black girl...what ever the hell that looks like from black girls at her school.

Not everyone grows out of ignorance or knows better.

Original poster
paralysedbyinertia · 23/04/2021 16:35

@accentdusoleil, thanks, I will ask them. DD is only there for a few more weeks, but it may be that there is a wider issue that needs addressing.

@C130, thank you.

OP posts:
Nightbear · 23/04/2021 16:36

Is there police involvement? If the school aren’t dealing with it effectively the police can get involved. 15 or 16 year olds are well over the age of criminal responsibility.

bonfireheart · 23/04/2021 16:38

So sorry to hear this OP. Are the school supportive and do they take action?

Original poster
paralysedbyinertia · 23/04/2021 16:38

Good question @Nightbear. The teacher wouldn't tell me exactly what had happened as it was directed at another child. It may be that police involvement is required now, but I guess that will be the decision of the child on the receiving end of the racism, and of course, her parents. Enough is enough, frankly.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 23/04/2021 16:40

Why would they know better OP? I'm not being flippant here because I've worked with some of the students you describe.
School is 9-3, 39 weeks of the year, race and racism will be explicitly mentioned a fraction of that time. Meanwhile the rest of their lives are saturated with racism.

Put yourself in the shoes of one of these students. Student A is 15 and all their life they've heard racist language at home and with family friends. They are brought up with cries of the following: X group stole our jobs, X group sit on benefits, X group should go back to where they came from, X group don't speak bloody English, can't even go to (insert local area) without seeing them, X group are everywhere, you don't even see a white face these days, (insert racist terms for various groups here), you know what it's political correctness gone mad, you can't even say anything about X group these days without being called a racist, when I were a lad/girl people knew what proper racism was and it wasn't crying over a perfectly normal term such as "p*ki", it's not racist to say (insert term) just people look for offence now, you've gotta watch X group because they get all the good jobs/all the good grades/are teacher's pet, I'm all for equality but it's going a bit too far now, it's starting to be like white British people are being persecuted in their own country, what's it come to when a British person, a proper British person can't even speak in their own country without being called racist, I'd sling the lot of them back, if ever anything happens between a white guy and X group you know the white guy is going to get the blame because everyone takes the side of X group, it's the white guys I feel sorry for... and so on.

They go into school and act in a way that reflects those racist views and the school rightly sanctions them. Their parents are informed as well. Because the racist views are so deeply held, the student and the parent view the sanction as more proof that white people are persecuted in their own country, and so their racist beliefs are reinforced because everything centres on why white people are the real victims.

Original poster
paralysedbyinertia · 23/04/2021 16:43

@bonfireheart

So sorry to hear this OP. Are the school supportive and do they take action?
The school are supportive in so far as they seem to take it seriously and I think they genuinely care. I'm not sure how effective their response has been to date. To be fair, I don't know yet who the perpetrators were on this occasion, so it might be a new problem that the school hasn't been aware of.
OP posts:
Nightbear · 23/04/2021 16:47

I hope your DD is ok. Being a teenage girl is hard enough without having to face this at school.

Original poster
paralysedbyinertia · 23/04/2021 16:48

@LolaSmiles

Why would they know better OP? I'm not being flippant here because I've worked with some of the students you describe. School is 9-3, 39 weeks of the year, race and racism will be explicitly mentioned a fraction of that time. Meanwhile the rest of their lives are saturated with racism.

Put yourself in the shoes of one of these students. Student A is 15 and all their life they've heard racist language at home and with family friends. They are brought up with cries of the following: X group stole our jobs, X group sit on benefits, X group should go back to where they came from, X group don't speak bloody English, can't even go to (insert local area) without seeing them, X group are everywhere, you don't even see a white face these days, (insert racist terms for various groups here), you know what it's political correctness gone mad, you can't even say anything about X group these days without being called a racist, when I were a lad/girl people knew what proper racism was and it wasn't crying over a perfectly normal term such as "p*ki", it's not racist to say (insert term) just people look for offence now, you've gotta watch X group because they get all the good jobs/all the good grades/are teacher's pet, I'm all for equality but it's going a bit too far now, it's starting to be like white British people are being persecuted in their own country, what's it come to when a British person, a proper British person can't even speak in their own country without being called racist, I'd sling the lot of them back, if ever anything happens between a white guy and X group you know the white guy is going to get the blame because everyone takes the side of X group, it's the white guys I feel sorry for... and so on.

They go into school and act in a way that reflects those racist views and the school rightly sanctions them. Their parents are informed as well. Because the racist views are so deeply held, the student and the parent view the sanction as more proof that white people are persecuted in their own country, and so their racist beliefs are reinforced because everything centres on why white people are the real victims.

I get where you're coming from @LolaSmiles, but I think there comes a point when individuals have to stop blaming their parents and take responsibility for their own behaviour. At 15/16, I think they should know better. And some do.
OP posts:
accentdusoleil · 23/04/2021 16:48

I would question the diversity of their curriculum (English, PSHE and history for starters ), their staff , their SLT as well as their policies.

There are companies/ charities which can advise schools on this if they are struggling.

It should not be shyed away from.

Original poster
paralysedbyinertia · 23/04/2021 16:49

Thank you @Nightbear.

OP posts:
Lauren15 · 23/04/2021 16:52

@Nightbear

Is there police involvement? If the school aren’t dealing with it effectively the police can get involved. 15 or 16 year olds are well over the age of criminal responsibility.
I totally agree. Ds’s secondary school only took any action when we went to the police.
Original poster
paralysedbyinertia · 23/04/2021 16:53

@accentdusoleil

I would question the diversity of their curriculum (English, PSHE and history for starters ), their staff , their SLT as well as their policies.

There are companies/ charities which can advise schools on this if they are struggling.

It should not be shyed away from.

PSHE is crap, dd has been frustrated by it for ages. She actually had a plan to propose some content in relation to prejudice and discrimination, following other issues that had occurred, but then covid kind of got in the way of that.

Staff are pretty diverse. SLT is not.

External advice for the school might be helpful, as I have the sense that they're well intentioned but slightly out of their depth. I don't blame them really, it's hard to know how to tackle this stuff. I agree that embedding it in the curriculum is a good way to go.

OP posts:
Fembot123 · 23/04/2021 16:55

@C130

That is a good question. I do not have the answers. I do know that I wish that black and brown people could just live their life's without their colour being a problem to some people. I hope your daughter will not be too upset by this incident.
When I went to school it was the black girls that were shitty to the mixed race girls.
LolaSmiles · 23/04/2021 17:11

I get where you're coming from @LolaSmiles, but I think there comes a point when individuals have to stop blaming their parents and take responsibility for their own behaviour. At 15/16, I think they should know better. And some do
I do see what you mean, but breaking away from an ideology that is everywhere in your life is hard even for adults. I don't think it's unreasonable to acknowledge that plenty of 15/16 year olds don't have that maturity and life experience to do that.

I'm just thinking of students I've taught, and their world is very small. Generations of their family have lived within the same area, not very high levels of education, low aspirations, education isn't valued, no extra curricular activities so limited mixing with people outside their bubble, the expectation is you get through school, maybe get some gcses, get a job doing something and then eventually move out and have your own kids living a few doors down from your aunty. I'd say that student has much less of a chance breaking free from very entrenched racism than a child whose parents might hold racist views, but because they want the child to do well, the child does clubs with a range of children from different backgrounds, they're engaged in school so take on board topics covered in school, they anticipate going to college where they will meet others from different ethnic backgrounds. Both have grown up in racist families but one child is much less likely to breakaway for a range of complex reasons.

I'll never gloss over racism by the way. It's disgusting and school should be addressing with a zero tolerance policy and should really have a commitment to challenging racism throughout their curriculum.

User135644 · 23/04/2021 17:13

@Howmercurialislife

Because they are in environments where they learn that type of bullshit.

I have 2 mixed races DDs and have ad racists comments directed at them from both black and white kids, and black and white adults.

I sometimes fucking despair, I hope your DD is OK.

There's a saying that mixed raced kids have to be tough because they have always suffered racist abuse from both sides.
Original poster
paralysedbyinertia · 23/04/2021 17:14

You're probably right @LolaSmiles. I know some kids have shitty parents and narrow worlds, but right now, I'm just too angry to feel any sympathy for them. I'm just fed up of my dd even having to think about this shit.

OP posts:
Faultymain5 · 23/04/2021 17:19

@Howmercurialislife

At that age my eldest DD was getting alot of, why don't you talk/dress/act like a black girl...what ever the hell that looks like from black girls at her school.

Not everyone grows out of ignorance or knows better.

Snap, quite recently, my son got "your the whitest black guy I know".

From a White British person. She thought it was bantz but since he was getting that crap from black kids at high school, he's tired of it.

And since I've been getting that since High School and I have to keep schooling people that there is no "way" to be black....I'm actually quite tired of it too.