Can anyone settle this argument.

[catsarebetter]

So the situation is that I gave up work to bring up the kids, the youngest is now in junior school and hubby keeps lecturing me about starting work again saying that the job market has changed and that he knows more than me about jobs and going to work. The sticking point is the 13 weeks of school holidays, we have no family that can help with childcare and he doesn't want to pay for childcare as that rather defeats the object of working. The argument we have is that he works full time, leaves the house at 7am,gets back at 6pm and he doesn't want me working evenings/weekends as it will disrupt family life too much but he says that if I get a part time job that fits in with school hours, that once I get my foot in the door they will probably allow me to have the majority of school holidays off as work places are desperate to keep good people.
I think this is ridiculous and have said that I am not going to lie to a company to get a job and then start saying that in a few weeks time I need the school holidays off. He says lots of people do it and its no problem, so my question is this.
Is there anybody who has a part time job that fits in with school hours (obviously I'm not talking about school jobs) and is allowed the majority of school holidays off.

🤣🤣🤣 what does he do for a job OP?? I'm intrigued!

He's having a laugh. The only place you get school holidays usually is in schools or colleges.

Dare I ask if he's got a plan for inset days and illness? Other than your imaginary boss being fine about that too?

I have a zero hours contract working in libraries, so I can turn down any shifts offered if the hours don't suit me. But if I don't work, I don't get paid. I do tend to work mostly weekends, too. But my DH is reasonable about that & has the kids, like I do when he works.

You might not get holidays off, but you might be able to flex hours to fit around half day holiday clubs or compress hours in holidays so it is just a couple of days. Your DH should ask his work about this as well, especially if your DH does not want pay for holiday clubs then unless he can get timenoff as well then a permanent PT contract for you is unlikely.
However, re clubs - mine really enjoyed them when they were younger and the local leisure centre ones were around £10 per 4 hour session. They did swimming, badminton, loads of stuff.
It didn't take much organising so no need to give me a thumbs up. My teens have told me what that means

It is easiest to get part time arrangements in place when you return to work after maternity leave to an existing employer. This is what I did and how I continued to progress my career. But they would never have given me my summer holidays off so I had to pay for childcare as most people do (I had no family help). When I became a CEO I then went full time with working from hone when I could.

The only friend I know who got holidays off was a lawyer for a big local authority. She was shit hot at her job and they wanted to keep her - no one else at the council got the same treatment.

Just pay for childcare like everyone else. And don't listen to your DH. Ask him how many female colleagues he's helped get similar treatment.

His response 'you don't know what the job market is like' is painfully patronising.

His idea is completely unrealistic and actually hilarious.

he doesn't want me working evenings/weekends as it will disrupt family life too much

You know this is code for I want you to continue to do all the mental load of the children, plus all the physical load of school runs, homework, shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning and hold down a job.

I had a friend whose husband honestly said right the children are in school now so it is high tide you found a job but only term time, you must be able to collect and drop the children off and when they are ill it is you, and only you who will take time off work, I am far too important doing my busy job. Oh and continue with everything you did before because I am literally going to work and that is it. She works 3 hours in the morning in a school admin role and gets worried if her children are ill.

I am a long term SAHM, partly because of my health but mainly because it really worked for us although I don't have an arsehole as a husband. I have stepped in for friends when their summer childcare has fallen through for a day or two (sick relative or childminder) but most people pay for childcare and juggle their holidays. You need to think about if the children are sick too. I bet it is you who has to stay home for that.

Tell him if he finds the job then you will apply...and just wait...

@VettiyaIruken

So he wants you to bring in some money without it costing anything for childcare and you must continue to do the domestic stuff and he should not be expected to have to step up evenings and weekends either.

He's a prick.

Yep, @VettiyaIruken I'm inclined to agree with you.

@playeddepaler

🤣🤣🤣 what does he do for a job OP?? I'm intrigued!

Middle management in a manufacturing firm.

So ask him... would he allow someone in his workplace have all the holidays off? Once they have their foot in the door of course? I'm sure I already know his answer 🤣🤣