Have you ever been to a wedding where someone was jilted?

[JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows]

Me and my friend tonight watched a (so bad it's good) film where a bride jilts the groom and he runs off with her sister as they sing a Cher song together we were discussing jilting, she said at Uni her friend's wedding was called off the night before when the bride had discovered an affair. And I remember as a teen my parents coming home only a couple of hours after they left for a wedding. The groom didn't show up to the service, he was seen leaving the hotel in the car of a woman waiting outside is jilting very rare? Have you ever known anyone jilted or a wedding cancelled last minute?

There's a woman in my area who is currently selling off all her wedding stuff (dress, shoes, decorations etc) due to a cancelled at last minute wedding.

Every time she pops up on the Facebook selling page with another wedding related item I feel so sad for her.

Although maybe she called it off because she found out her husband to be is actually a massive twat so it's all good!

@wexone and @anne8850
The way I look at it is this.
Irish Twins is a term coined in the 19th century to mock the mainly impoverished Irish families who had children in quick succession, the implication being by the mainly British and US in those countries “thick paddies who can’t restrain themselves”

I’d argue that because you’re not offended by it doesn’t mean it isn’t offensive.
I’d also argue that it’s not something that’s offensive when used by Irish people but as an Irish person living in the UK I will always call out a non Irish person when they use it.

Incidentally I’m not a serial offendee!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3594912-To-think-that-Irish-twins-is-an-offensive-term

Anyway not to derail the thread 😊

Friend's brother should have called off his first wedding. Said to his brother, on the night before that he was feeling railroaded into marriage. It lasted 6 months and she ran off halfway round the world having run up massive debts on their joint credit card - leaving him to face the music.

Another wedding where everyone had travelled to another country - spent a lot of money - I was being a plus 1 and knew nobody apart from my friend. But even I could tell there was something up. She'd been caught shagging someone else the day before they flew out. Decided that they carry on and it would all be OK. It wasn't. I think they split up on the flight back.

A friend on mine was jilted the morning of the wedding. It was devastating for her and took a long time for her to trust anyone else..

I know of a horrific fall out a (outing to say how) huge wedding that went ahead and blew apart at the wedding reception. I'm trying to summarise it without giving my role in this away - it's long and I apologise in advance for how I've written it

The bride and groom were childhood sweethearts. Dream Wedding planned etc
The bride a lovely sweet sweet girl who adored him. Bride works in her home town - really local and family oriented. He was the centre of her universe.

Groom (utter cockwaffle) worked in the "big Smoke" city in finance had a secret girlfriend of several years. These two women knew nothing of each other. He was having his cake and eating it.

We know now that he Spent the hen do on a weekend away shagging with the secret girlfriend. Utter scum bag

Secret girlfriends family and friends were suspicious of groom after 2 1/2 years of a relationship (didn't have social media and she had never met his parents hung out with friends etc) he made little effort and they never saw him. He was always polite but very discreet.

After a bit of stalking, the secret girlfriends family somehow found out about the Wedding and obtained a copy of the invitation. (I can't say as very outing)

Secret Girlfriend confronted groom over the phone and he said that the bride (he said she was his crazy ex-girlfriend) was mental and it wasn't true and not to believe anything her friends were telling her.

After long conversations he finally admitted that he was due to be getting married a few days later to his childhood sweetheart and that he had been carrying both poor women along for several years.
Said he was ashamed of himself blah blah blah please don't leave me etc

The night before the "wedding" he told secret girlfriend that he'd called it off and he then sent her lots and lots of dick pics saying that he wished he could be with her etc

The following Morning he was non-contactable. By that Point it was pretty obvious to secret girlfriend that the wedding was going ahead and he was a total bastard.

Secret Girlfriend told her family and friends. Secret girlfriend still had a partial copy of the wedding invitation.

Secret girlfriends father was livid, got in the car and drove all the way to the (what was now) evening reception in a rage found the bride and told her everything. She didn't believe him. Asked him who he was, very confused.

The girlfriend and her family had followed father there in a convoy, concerned at what he was going to do. (The girlfriend at this point was distressed and wanted to stop the father) anyway they arrive separately and the groom clocked the girlfriend as soon as she walked in the room and manhandled her into the garden ( he had no idea that poor bride was already being informed by aforementioned father in another corner of the room- as he had never met him, idiot didn't know what secret girlfriends dad looked like!!)

Bridesmaids soon realised what was happening- absolute chaos and horrid name calling and accusations flying around. Everyone staring

Bride is naturally and quite rightly so completely devastated and doesn't believe it until secret girlfriend produced evidence - calling his secret second phone, produced photos of them on holiday, dick picks (vomit) other outing things like signet rings and his clothes he had left at hers.... it was undeniable.

Bride realised it was true, punched him, demanded car keys from someone (can't remember who) and got in a car and drove off.

Secret girlfriend and family made swift exit.
Next day groom calls secret girlfriend asking for her to take him back.
She declined!

Secret girlfriend tried hard to contact bride and apologise for ruining her day but it didn't yield any response (understandable!)

I believe that the bride took him
Back, that they had children and have very recently divorced.

I am neither secret gf or the bride, I just wanted to write this in a way that didn't give too much away as it was really traumatic for both women who were deceived.

I think of them both often and hope they are ok.

One of my friends knew this woman in her 20s who I will call Paula who had a boyfriend called John. My friend said she never liked John as she felt he looked down on people and everything had to revolve around him and what he wanted. A few years after college Paula got engaged to John. The wedding was booked for X month of z year.

A few weeks before the wedding John told Paula he was not ready to get married. He left her to tell her parents, family members and friends. Her mother had to cancel everything thing as Paula was so upset. Paula parents were paying for the wedding in a lovely place that was not cheap so they lost thousand's of pounds.
A few weeks after the wedding was supposed to take place Paula started to see John again. My friend told her at the time that he was not going to change and she was not going to cover things up for Paula and him. Paula realised within a few weeks that John just wanted her their when it suited him so she told him it was over.

About a year later Paula heard that John had just disappeared. It came out that he left owing rent, ran up a high phone bill in a shared house ringing sex lines, was over drawn on his bank account and had a few thousand debit on credit cards.

A few years later Paula was out one night with my friend and she met a man that night. My friend said this man was nice, decent and kind. She was delighted going to their wedding a few years later. Paula now has 2 kids and a happy marriage.

I worked with someone whose fiancé called off the big glitzy wedding a few days before. He said he couldn't go through with it as she was a nightmare. To be fair, she really was a nightmare but you'd not wish that kind of heartbreak on anyone.

My friend cancelled his wedding as he found out his bride was having a long term affair with her boss. She expected the boss to leave his wife. He didn't. She is single still and my friend happily married with a baby.

I was working in a venue where a wedding reception and evening party had been booked and paid for. The couple had split up but nothing had been cancelled. Everything went ahead although the wedding party were missing and no one could be contacted at first. Many guests had still turned up at the Town Hall expecting a marriage.

I'm Irish living in England, and a practising Catholic. I don't know about historically, but nowadays 'Irish twins' tends to be used disparagingly to imply that people who don't use artificial contraception are simpletons being manipulated by the patriarchal oppresors of the church hierarchy, i.e. we only have children so close together because we unthinkingly obey what the priest says, unlike the enlightened modern people who know how to put on a condom and aren't scared of threats of hellfire and brimstone that will result. It is quite insulting but I don't usually bother to correct people, I just roll my eyes and move the conversation on.

My friends fiancee called off their wedding a week before the big day. He told her he was in fact gay and had decided he could no longer live a lie. My friend had no inkling at all. She was super supportive supported him in telling his family etc. It was heartbreaking for her.

My friend's fiancee called off their wedding with only three days notice. He was devastated and so embarrassed having to tell everyone who had obviously already spent money on sending presents, buying new clothes, booking accommodation, etc. She didn't give any explanation and they'd been together for years - real childhood sweethearts.
Although I felt awful for him, I admired her bravery in cancelling it and not being pressured to go ahead because it was expected.

One of my friends almost backed out on her wedding day. She’d been having an affair with someone from her work, but had gone along with the wedding plans anyway. She was 45 mins late and we were all sitting in the church for wondering if she was going to arrive, although me and dh were the probably the only ones who knew what had really been going on. Finally she arrived, much to the relief of the visibly upset groom, but I could tell from her face walking down the aisle that she was not happy and it was all very forced and a strange day.

They stayed together for a couple of years, he was a lovely guy. She ended up leaving - well she took a job at the other end of the country and they went through the motions of long distance for a while, but her heart was never in it and she was seeing other guys. Finally divorced a couple of years ago.

@Hoppinggreen

Not jilted exactly but I went to a work colleagues huge Indian wedding, arranged marriage When he got back from his Honeymoon (where she refused to have sex with him) her parents were waiting at the airport and said there was a family emergency and she had to come with them. New groom went home alone to find that they had stripped out his house and emptied their joint account. She then filed for divorce and he never saw her again. He had a breakdown and was off work for months poor man.

That sounds like a planned scam. I hope he reported them to the authorities.

No but I know someone whose husband ran off with her sister shortly after the wedding.

@NameChangedForThisFeb21

Not on the day but my beautiful, kind, intelligent, really quite perfect 26 year old cousin was jilted just before her wedding.

Was made it worse was that she was an “Irish Twin” and had attended the wedding of her sister who is only just over 10 months older with the man she was supposed to marry just a month before he jilted her (two weeks before her own wedding). They’d been so happy together (chief bridesmaid and groomsman) and everyone was saying “your turn next” and he seemed ecstatic and kept saying he couldn’t wait. The two couples were a real foursome, very close and were talking about raising their families together and all seemed so excited for the future. She looked so beautiful as the chief bridesmaid and we were all looking forward to the next wedding, he was singing her praises. Then he called it off just after her final dress fitting (as in that evening after she’d just come back), coldly, with no explanation and no compassion. He played no part in helping cancel everything.

He’d been the one really pushing for marriage. They were the first couple to get engaged, the engagement was three years long, they’d been a couple for six or seven years. They were pretty traditional and didn’t plan on living together until after marriage but they’d bought a house and all the wedding gifts were traditional ones to help set up a home together. She’d already partially moved in and was doing it up etc whilst he stayed in his flat so as well as cancelling the wedding they had to sell the house, sort the mortgage out, her parents had to cancel or sell the furniture etc as she was so devastated and he turned nasty and wouldn’t help with the practical side of things like the house, cancelling the venue etc.

And she just didn’t deserve it. She was so lovely and sweet. Then of course she had to go through seeing her sister and brother in law having the life and the children she had been dreaming of and got so close to.

It took her a few years to get over and when she was thirty she found out that she had very bad scarring from endometriosis and only had a short window left to conceive. To cut a long story short, she’d met someone, moved in with him at his request, took on his child who she adored, he’d proposed, made plans for her to adopt the child and for them to start TTC via IVF, then one day, just as it was all about to happen and knowing her history of being jilted before, he said he didn’t want her anymore and asked her to move out. She’s in her 50s now, never married, never had kids. I can’t understand why men have treated her so shittily throughout her life, she’s an angel!

I really wish I'd not read this tbh it's heartbreaking 😞

So many sad stories that aren't just about being jilted but about terrible relationships have long-lasting consequences on the people involved.

@NameChangedForThisFeb21

Not on the day but my beautiful, kind, intelligent, really quite perfect 26 year old cousin was jilted just before her wedding.

Was made it worse was that she was an “Irish Twin” and had attended the wedding of her sister who is only just over 10 months older with the man she was supposed to marry just a month before he jilted her (two weeks before her own wedding). They’d been so happy together (chief bridesmaid and groomsman) and everyone was saying “your turn next” and he seemed ecstatic and kept saying he couldn’t wait. The two couples were a real foursome, very close and were talking about raising their families together and all seemed so excited for the future. She looked so beautiful as the chief bridesmaid and we were all looking forward to the next wedding, he was singing her praises. Then he called it off just after her final dress fitting (as in that evening after she’d just come back), coldly, with no explanation and no compassion. He played no part in helping cancel everything.

He’d been the one really pushing for marriage. They were the first couple to get engaged, the engagement was three years long, they’d been a couple for six or seven years. They were pretty traditional and didn’t plan on living together until after marriage but they’d bought a house and all the wedding gifts were traditional ones to help set up a home together. She’d already partially moved in and was doing it up etc whilst he stayed in his flat so as well as cancelling the wedding they had to sell the house, sort the mortgage out, her parents had to cancel or sell the furniture etc as she was so devastated and he turned nasty and wouldn’t help with the practical side of things like the house, cancelling the venue etc.

And she just didn’t deserve it. She was so lovely and sweet. Then of course she had to go through seeing her sister and brother in law having the life and the children she had been dreaming of and got so close to.

It took her a few years to get over and when she was thirty she found out that she had very bad scarring from endometriosis and only had a short window left to conceive. To cut a long story short, she’d met someone, moved in with him at his request, took on his child who she adored, he’d proposed, made plans for her to adopt the child and for them to start TTC via IVF, then one day, just as it was all about to happen and knowing her history of being jilted before, he said he didn’t want her anymore and asked her to move out. She’s in her 50s now, never married, never had kids. I can’t understand why men have treated her so shittily throughout her life, she’s an angel!

Oh the poor thing ! life can be so cruel

I don't know anyone who was actually jilted but, there was a time in the mid 90s when nearly everyone I knew and/or worked with who was in their twenties, seemed to get married. Every summer weekend there was the same big, white wedding at a pretty church with a reception in a marquee at a country hotel afterwards.

I would say about 70% of them split up, some as quickly as three months later, none of them were together long enough to have children. There were a lot of twenty somethings nursing broken hearts.

I can only assume everyone caught wedding fever from each other and so many people were inspired by Four Weddings and a Funeral which I think, came out around 1995? They just wanted the big day and didn't think about the realities of marriage.

It does seem to me that young people nowadays are more focussed on saving for a house deposit and going on holiday rather than wasting it on expensive show weddings, good for them.

[quote JeanneDoe]@NameChangedForThisFeb21
That’s a horrendous story. Your poor cousin.

By the way, sorry to be “that person” on the chat but Irish Twin is a fairly offensive term/has negative connotations for Irish people.[/quote]
I know I can't speak for all Irish people, but speaking purely for myself, I don't mind it in the least and thinks it's a pretty fair refection of lots of family set-ups and large families amongst earlier generations. I can't bring myself to get too worked up about it.

A relative’s fiancé shagged a woman he met on his stag weekend, a few weeks before the wedding. My relative found out and confronted him, but he swore it was a one-night stand, a drunken mistake etc, so she forgave him. Soon after that, she found he and the OW were making plans to meet after the honeymoon.

He still wanted to marry her, but she called off the wedding, £15,000 down the drain after they had been saving for many years. They had been together nearly 20 years, had three children and genuinely seemed to be very happy together.

I wished she had gone through with the wedding to gain the legal and financial protection of marriage. But she refused to exchange vows with someone she knew was lying.

I don't know anyone who was jilted at the alter, but I do know a couple who split up halfway through their honeymoon.

Only wedding I know that was cancelled was in early 90s just 3 weeks before when groom came out the closet. Bride was only 19 so it was ridiculous they were getting married anyway.

They were both in our extended circle of friends and the groom stopped coming to the social thing most of us did and we just never heard from him again (nothing sinister, this was late 80s before mobile phones/social media etc)

Someone I vaguely knew as a postgrad student had been planning a huge wedding for years, had it all booked months in advance and then her fiance ended things with about six months to go. She was adamant that she was still having her wedding, so she kept all the arrangements in place and basically went all-out to find another man to marry! The poor sod she ended up with had a permanent rabbit-in-headlights look about him but they did go through with it - no idea whether or not it lasted though.

I went to a wedding that where the bride admitted the night before that she had been seeing someone else for months. Wedding still went ahead as it had all been paid for. They even did all the party and photo stuff... went on honeymoon together and got their marriage annulled when they got back. Was very strange.

I was invited to a wedding that was called off 3 weeks before.

The groom married another woman exactly a year later. Registered for the exact same gifts.

At the wedding the best man (groom’s brother) accidentally toasted the groom and the prior woman.