Will school judge me

[Buzlightyear1]

My son is going to start school in September. He’s my oBly child. My ex used to do herion and crack injection in front of my son and a lot of other horrible stuff . He threatened to take my son away I was terrified he said I would not win as I have epilepsy. When my son was 2 I had enough I realised even if my son went into care which would kill me my son would be better than he was then in that situation.

So I called the police and he was removed from my home, and social services involved. They were amazing and helped me make my home safe with care alarms . I was told ex was to have supervised visits which I hold. I’ve been lucky with covid we have seen ex in ages my son is happier. I was quickly discharged for social services and I did everything in quick time it was only clean house and care alarm I had to do . No courses or anything like that. I’ve also spoke to the social worker as ex has the. Gone on to mug a lady and kick or punch her partner , so I told social what had happened.

I’m worried the school are going to judge me and possibly my son because of this . I feel so embarrassed I have to tell them ex is not to be allowed to pick up my son. And will have to show prof so they will no what’s happened. I’m so embarrassed I let this happen I feel so guilty for my son going through this as it is. I can’t sleep every night I think of all the awful things this man did to my son and I cry. I don’t want my son to be affected . What do you think they will think of me ? Do you think my son will be on some kind of watch list ?

Thank you so much also for the advice for things like pictures with no logos on. It means so much to me. Thank you.

@Buzlightyear1

Thank you so much also for the advice for things like pictures with no logos on. It means so much to me. Thank you.

The school should ask you for photograph permission, lots of our parents opt out of their child appearing on the school website or local media and it's not uncommon for a child to be strictly never in the background of someone else's photos. School are there to help and support, please never feel embarrassed to ask for help or just to query something op

Please don't be embarrassed. You are a strong woman who has safeguarded your son and you should be proud of yourself.

As others have said, information is shared on a need to know basis and nobody will be judging you.

Give yourself a massive pat on the back.

Op, I'm a teacher.

I have had to tell my children's primary school that mother wasn't allowed to pick them up under any circumstances following police and SS involvement.

I didn't feel judged. I felt supported and empathised with.

Neither would I judge any mother in a similar position. I would admire your strength. In fact, I think you're fucking awesome.

Ex early years teacher here op. You will not be judged at all. It is very common to have children to not be picked up by certain adult(s) and to be protected from images being shared etc.
I hope your DC’s school will make you both feel very welcome.

@Buzlightyear1

Thank you all so much for these responses, you have really put my mind at ease. ( I did go to the other room to have a little cry it’s so kind of you all) thank you honestly.

I was so scared incase my son got judge or treated different but you have really put my mind at ease. I feel like a failure for letting it go on so long and I hate that my son saw these things. I no he is going to love school so I don’t want to be nervous as he will pick up on it.

That’s a really good point about pictures and Socail media. I’m trying not to let ex no what school he goes to. I have pics of ex trying to pose with head bands on cause he was in part of a London gang.🤦‍♀️

That’s also my worry about gossip queenie6655 . I definitely need to make sure I’m clear that I don’t want this shared I live in such a small village . It’s 15 people that will attend his class so very small and everyone talks to everyone. Thank you all so much .

Yes I worry too But sod them

So many have been supportive

Hope you have good support? Xxxxx

As a former teacher, there will be no judgement at all. You have turned everything round for your son and given him the best chances you can. Yes your son’s teacher will be made aware of the past but teachers have this information to help support you and your son. I have taught children before where parents have turned things around and worked with social services to improve their kids lives and I’ve never had nothing but admiration for them.

Hey doll
My son was put on a cpp because of his dad's abuse at 2 days old. I girled up. Fought the abuse... Went to court and changed his surname. Its all doable. The only time I had to talk to the school was as a volunteer and I didn't meet the criteria but the head understood and to acknowledge I had used a preferred surname and I was going to court. Be you. Your strong.