Child rubbed nettles in my child's face

[GrinchAnInch]

I am not sure how to handle this. My dd has a few disabilities but is in main stream school. I got a call from the school to say she had some nettle stings to the face and head. I stupidly didn't ask how but when I picked her up she told me another child rubbed them in her face because she (my dd) didn't want to play with her. I am furious. The kids are 8 and the girl definitely knew what she was doing and even chased after her to try to do it again. I feel like the school are trying to brush it under the carpet but I feel this child is targeting my dd by pushing her over and pretending it was an accident (this happened at least twice last week). I have told the school I want them kept apart as much as possible as this girl is awful anytime my dd wants to play with someone else. I am fairy certain this girl has no sen as I know her parents and I know they never discipline her appropriately. Any suggestions on how to handle this would be appreciated.

I would request a meeting with the teacher and head teacher and ask how they will keep your child from being injured. That is awful OP.

I’d ask to speak to the teacher/head teacher. I’d ask to see their anti bullying policy and what they are doing to ensure your child is kept safe in their care. I’d also see if there is a reason if your child is being targeted, could their disability mean it is harder for them to get away physically from this child.
Take photos of your child’s face. Hope she feels better soon

What a cruel thing to do, I would not let this go, the school need to aknowledge and deal with this urgently before it ruins your childs experience of school. Your poor little love! I hope she feels better today.

God, some kids are horrible.

What a horrid thing to do! Poor DD. That's bullying. I'd request a meeting with the head and class teacher and ask them what their bullying policy is and how they're going to protect your DD.

That's a terrible thing to do. I would also be asking how pupils have access to nettles during the school day. There shouldn't be any on the school grounds.

Yep, meeting with the head teacher! If no satisfaction, elevate it (is it school board Governors? I’m in Scotland, it’s different up here). Either way...don’t let them brush this off!

the definition of bullying is that the attacks are repeated. One incident is a one-off, but once it becomes repeated, then it is bullying.

So, she is being bullied by this other girl.

Ask for a meeting. Be clear that this is bullying and that your child is not safe. Ask them for a plan to safeguard your child.
be persistant. Follow up eveyr time.

Also, keep a paper trail, so after every meeting, send an email

'just writing to confirm what was talked about in our meeting yesterday (date, time) confirm that school will implement x and y to secure that my child is safeguarded against bullying. '

eveyr single incident, send an email, so you have a paper trail

Thank you for all your kind responses, I am waiting to hear back from the head. I will be sending an email to confirm all the details after I have spoken to them.

Yes as steppemum says, all contact either by email or if telephone back tjis up with an email.

Email school to request meeting with member of senior leadership. Team or head explaining you have previously spoken to teacher to ask they be Seperate but this isn't working.

Try to jot down when you have requested this, any info eh was it by tel, at door of classroom when picking up etc, then go on to list the incidents that have happened, again, dates, details of incident, stress low level bullying that is not acceptable and you want to discuss. Don't let them focus on care pkan for your dd, focus has to be on pupils instigating these incidents - how are school promptly and efficiently dealing with them? Also ask if they use any system to record incidents, eg cpoms, so that as your dd moves through school there is a record of the relationship between your dd and this / other pupils.

It would be good that you keep a specific record of all incidents as, hopefully things will get sorted but if not, and you asked for a subject access request, school would have to provide all this info and it would be interesting to see what has happened at school and what school have officially recorded. (speaking with bitter hindsight!!)

Your poor DD

What a vile spiteful thing for an 8 year old child to do to your DD.
Nettle stings hurt for a long time sometimes they can tingle for a few days.

I feel like the school are trying to brush it under the carpet
My Dd's school used to treat every incidence as a one-off event and minimise everything and would never see the bigger picture of my DD being targeted.

I'd be insisting, in writing, and factually describing the incident and the previous deliberate pushing over so school couldn't minimise it, that school let me know exactly what they were going to do to keep my child safe.

Definitely have a paper trail on this.

That’s so awful, your poor little girl. I would be kicking up a right stink about that. That is an assault, personally I think it is worthy of a suspension for the child that did it.

That is despicable behaviour! I would be creating merry hell. It’s bullying, the school has failed in its duty to keep your child safe and the fact she has a disability means she was likely less able to protect herself (not that she should have to).

I would want to see a copy of the written accident report the school should have completed. I would want the HT to talk me through their bullying policy and address where they had let my child down. I would want a guarantee that the abuser was nowhere near my child unsupervised EVER. I would also want the abuser’s parents informed, a letter of apology from the abuser and a suitable in school punishment for them.

Do not let this lie!

Keep a diary, write down incidents you can remember even if it's the month then call the school to arrange a meeting. Make it clear this is a safeguarding fail on there part and they will be dealing with it. That's absolutely disgusting behaviour. Your poor daughter.

Wow, I would not be happy with this at all. Hope your DD is feeling better soon and I hope the school will deal with it in a satisfactory way. If not I would be approaching the parents myself. 😑💕

The more I think about this, the more serious I think this is. I think I’d also follow it up with a call to the local MASH as there is something not right about an 8 year old doing this to another 8 year old. Where on earth have they learnt this behaviour? I’d hazard a guess that there is more going on in the abuser’s life than you are aware of, likely abuse themselves. It’s such a twisted thing to do and premeditated too.

I’d want a fairly immediate meeting with the head teacher to discuss how they’re going to protect my child from bullying. If you think it’s related to your child’s disabilities I’d stress this as well. They won’t tell you anything about how they’re dealing with the other child, but should be able to tell you what they’ll do for your child and how they’re following their bullying policy. I’d be following up meetings in writing.

Ask for the accident/injury form too. Ensure it says how the injury actually happened.

I really, really would not try to address it with the other child’s parents. It’s very unlikely to end well.

Immediate meeting with the head, report in writing that it’s bullying related, and demand a plan of action in relation to their anti-bullying policy.

I agree with the others. But I would also, as a second question, want to know why I wasn't told what had happened when I picked up my child. Either the teacher didnt see (I know they cant be everywhere at once but it sounds like poor supervision to have no idea what happened- normally children would tell them), or they knew it was done by another child but deliberately decided not to tell you.

That is awful. Be firm and don't allow the school to fob you off. Make an official complaint about bullying, then the school are forced to address the issue. (Make sure everything you say face-to-face or in a telephone call is followed up with an email confirming what was said, so you have a written record of what happened when.) If they fail to take action, I would start talking to them about their failure of duty of care towards your child.

Is there more than one class for each year? Do all classes have lunch/break time at the same time, or are they staggered? If it's an option, I would ask for your child to be moved to a different class and break time, so there is less chance of any interaction with this other child.

Made my eyes water reading that. Nettles particularly horrible thing to use. 8 is old enough to know that.

I’d be clear, this, or something similar should NEVER happen again. I’d be prepared to be that parent that keeps asking how things are and what is being done for the rest of the term.

Agree with what everyone else has said but i'm also wondering, why haven't the school taken more action already? Do they know what happened? Why does it take you kicking up a stink to deal with this horrible episode of bullying? Your poor DD.

They are in class/ year group bubbles at the minute. They definitely know that it was deliberate and I think they tried to conceal the truth from me hoping my daughter wouldn't tell me (she has learning difficulties) unfortunately for them she is very reliable at relaying information even if she doesn't always fully understand and her memory is great. There is no doubt in my mind that what she told me was a accurate picture of what happened. Still waiting for a response and I'm starting to fraught my email. Thanks for all the replies it is reassuring to know I am not over reacting to this event.

Well then the school are fucking complicit. Disgusting.

What a perfectly horrible thing to do. Nettle sting is very very unpleasant on the hands, I cannot even imagine how it feels on the face.

I'll be emailing and complaining about this.