Child rubbed nettles in my child's face

[GrinchAnInch]

I am not sure how to handle this. My dd has a few disabilities but is in main stream school. I got a call from the school to say she had some nettle stings to the face and head. I stupidly didn't ask how but when I picked her up she told me another child rubbed them in her face because she (my dd) didn't want to play with her. I am furious. The kids are 8 and the girl definitely knew what she was doing and even chased after her to try to do it again. I feel like the school are trying to brush it under the carpet but I feel this child is targeting my dd by pushing her over and pretending it was an accident (this happened at least twice last week). I have told the school I want them kept apart as much as possible as this girl is awful anytime my dd wants to play with someone else. I am fairy certain this girl has no sen as I know her parents and I know they never discipline her appropriately. Any suggestions on how to handle this would be appreciated.

If you don't get the desired response from the school take it higher. Thus us really unacceptable.

I would be taking this as high as I possibly could. DO NOT be fobbed off!

OP, you need to speak to the DSL at the school. This is absolutely not ok. Given staff have tried to conceal what has happened, I would say that trust has broken down irreparably. I would also name the staff members concerned when I made a report to the LADO. Some people should not work with children and anyone who tries to conceal how a disabled child came to be hurt is one of them!

This is now a pattern of behaviour and it needs addressed. If the school allow it to continue the bully will see no reason to stop.

I'm fuming for you OP, that is absolutely disgusting!

Do not be nice and 'oh so lovely, reasonable and understanding' about this toward school. Do not seek validation from school and do try not to be that mum. You have to tackle this with utmost calm and determination, no-one else will advocate for your lovely dd.

Below is a link to the DfE school safeguarding guidelines, read it thoroughly, print it out and go in with your husband or another family member so that you have a witness to your conversation and someone who has your back and can reinforce if needed. I speak from experience by the way.

After each meeting or phone call with school, write down the minutes e.g, what has been discussed and next steps that have been agreed. Ask for a follow up appointment 2 weeks or later and do not ever be fobbed off. Schools are notoriously crap at dealing with bullying, especially bullying from girls.

The school have a duty of care to both girls and are currently failing both. They need to put an action plan into place that prevent anything like this from happening again. Maybe the other girls needs 1-2-1 supervision to keep her away but most certainly she needs an intervention to teach her social skills. Rubbing nettles on another child's skin is peer on peer abuse (point 29 in the linked PDF).

The fact that your dd is disabled adds an extra layer of worry and the school could, if they don't tackle this effectively and immediately, be breaching equality legislation.

Do not, under any circumstances, approach the other parents. Communicate with the school and push as hard as possible. Be careful about gossiping about this to other parents while all this is going on.

Unfortunately even nice schools often just seek to keep the bullied child's parents at arms length. If you are calm but persistent it's harder for them to ignore you.

I wouldn't be surprised if the girls who is causing your dd such grief is being bullied at home, because that is not 'normal' behaviour, very wilful and huge lack of empathy.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/912593/Keeping_children_safe_in_education_part_1_Sep_2020.pdf

*and do NOT try not to be that mum

*After each meeting or phone call with school, write down the minutes e.g, what has been discussed and next steps that have been agreed and email this summary to school so there is a record of everything.

That is awful agree with pp

Oh @GrinchAnInch that is awful. Really truly awful. Your poor daughter. That is completely unacceptable and the fact that the girl did it once and then tried to do it again, it is disgraceful.
The only upside (if there even is one in this sorry situation) is that the bully probably has nettle stings on her hands.
I don't call children by rude names as a point but this one is a little bitch! She should get detention or be suspended and she DEFINITELY does not get to be in the same bubble as your daughter ever again.

I remember as a kid I was walking beside a field of nettles and I lost my balance and fell backwards into them. The pain was incredible. Calamine lotion helped but I still remember the pain to this day.

I do hope that you get a satisfactory response from the school.

Your poor poor girl.

It is bullying plain and simple

Honestly I'd tell your DD to smack this girl in the mouth. The school have already shown that they don't care.

Ha ha ha unfortunately my daughter has muscle weakness so is unable to defend herself or else I might be tempted

Obviously the school have taken no notice as the kids all line up in alphabetical order and my dd is next to this girl every time. Today the girl has been singing peppa pig and baby shark songs to wind up my dd and nothing has been done !

Unfortunately I think you’re going to have to absolutely raise hell on this one....the school are not exactly showing themselves to be competent in dealing with this

@Lettuceforlunch

That is despicable behaviour! I would be creating merry hell. It’s bullying, the school has failed in its duty to keep your child safe and the fact she has a disability means she was likely less able to protect herself (not that she should have to).

I would want to see a copy of the written accident report the school should have completed. I would want the HT to talk me through their bullying policy and address where they had let my child down. I would want a guarantee that the abuser was nowhere near my child unsupervised EVER. I would also want the abuser’s parents informed, a letter of apology from the abuser and a suitable in school punishment for them.

Do not let this lie!

I second this. The staff at your DDs school are a bunch of incompetent, complacent, uncaring fuckwits.

You’ll have to demand that action be taken, immediately to protect your daughter from here on in, and ask for meeting with HT/governors about previous bullying and why it was not, and is not, being handled appropriately.
If you are not delighted with how they proceed then tell them you will be making a complaint to the relevant higher authority. And do it!!

Your poor DD.

Make sure the school treat this seriously, this is bullying and sounds quite serious physical bullying too, not acceptable!

Bullying? Heck, I would consider this assault. One person deliberately injuring another person.

My son also has a disability causing muscle weakness and this makes me so angry on your behalf! The bullying policy is one thing, but I agree with the PP who said that this particular incident was an assault, and I do think your child being disabled and not able to defend herself makes it all the worse.

And as for them trying to cover it up..! They should be going out of their way to address this by giving the bully 1:1 outdoor supervision or suspension. I think I would report this to the safeguarding hub if I were you. It will happen again when future incidents happen to other children if this is the culture.

I would be furious they didn’t have the guts to be honest about what happened. You deserve the truth.