"No hat, no outside" not working. Been trapped inside with toddler for 4 days.

[SelfBuild]

Toddler (22 months) will not wear a sun hat, only a wooly bobble hat, we've tried 5 different sun hats with his favourite things on. Just not working. Went out last week and it was hot and he'd only put a bobble hat on and he was sodden with sweat afterwards.

So I toughened up, put the bobble hat out of sat and have lined up a selection of sun hats next to his shoes by the door. Everytime for the last 4 days he's asked to go in the garden, for a walk or to the park we've had the "no hat, no play/no go outside" argument. He will not back down and just tears it off so we haven't left the house. It's so sunny and nice and I'm just stuck indoors with a cranky toddler who hasn't had a proper run around in days but neither of us will back down.

What do I do?

@Octodog

Over the last decade, melanoma skin cancer incidence rates have increased by almost two-fifths (38%) in the UK.

This thread demonstrates why, sadly.

Worth mentioning that the highest incidents is in people over 80. Not toddlers because they didn't wear a hat.

Also that intermittent exposure (i.e. foreign holidays) are more risky than chronic exposure (people that work outside all year round).

Not toddlers because they didn't wear a hat.

I guess you don't know how skin cancer develops... Just because they don't have it as toddlers doesn't mean they won't have it as adults due to childhood sun exposure (and shit education around the dangers of sun)

To the person who said about Vitamin D - look at the Australian levels of Vit D deficiency - guess where has a huge policy to incorporate kids having sensible sun education, Australia. Wearing a hat has nothing to do with Vit D deficiency.

I haven't RTFT and I can see you've left OP, but if you do come back, could you try a hat that you could tie under his chin/something similar that he may not be able to take off? Would he wear sunglasses for his eyes? (I know you're mostly concerned about scalp but at least sunglasses will help protect his eyes and area around them). At 22months my DD still fit in her Baby Banz (and she has a huge head circumference). We were pretty strict about hat or sunglasses but she doesn't have particularly fair hair so as long as she had one on we'd settle with that. She struggled to take the Baby Banz off so if she wouldn't keep a hat on we'd usually stick those on her and she usually couldn't get them off. Also in a pram you could try and keep a sunshade right down over him which is what we would do, she liked it. We are actually having more difficulty this year since she is nearing 3, she's much more willfull and it's not possible to keep anything on her. She will no longer wear sunglasses at all, is very hit and miss with the sunhat, and today she threw a tantrum about refusing to wear either so I said she'd have to go in the pram then with the hood right down instead of walking. Problem is she is now big and tall enough that she just put the hood right up and insisted on sitting there with the sun in her eyes for the whole 15 mins walk, just out of stubbornness, even though I know she hates having the sun in her eyes. Crazy how stubborn they can be at such a young age even when it's actually causing themselves to suffer!

Surely not going outside for 4 days will be much worse for your toddler than not wearing a hat for half an hour?
Seems like you’ve got into a battle of wills, I would highly recommend ‘How to Talk so children will listen’ to avoid and head off any future conflicts like this.

@SelfBuild you can buy a sunscreen that sprays on your head and hair, it’s a Malibu one, factor 50.

Maybe take him shopping to pick his own hat out.

I went for a walk today and was out about 3 hours, I sprayed some factor 30 on my part in and when I got home it was burnt! I topped up everywhere else but forgot my scalp. If he is as fair as me then I don’t blame op for wanting him to wear a hat. It’s much better than dealing with a creaming child in pain with sunburn.

OP can you wear them in the house when playing games to get him used to it? Or one that ties under the chin? I use a spray sun cream on my scalp that doesn’t need rubbing in, it makes my hair greasy though but it does work when I remember.

Is it the bobble he likes?
Get a thin COTTON knitted bobble hat. He won't sweat in it.

He'll be fine. Mine went through a no hat stage and now insists on wearing a hat all the time: they like to control you. Just go with the flow. Sun cream on the face and neck and head

OR, search for 'summer cotton beanie hat' and stick a bobble on it.

@Octodog

Not toddlers because they didn't wear a hat.

I guess you don't know how skin cancer develops... Just because they don't have it as toddlers doesn't mean they won't have it as adults due to childhood sun exposure (and shit education around the dangers of sun)

To the person who said about Vitamin D - look at the Australian levels of Vit D deficiency - guess where has a huge policy to incorporate kids having sensible sun education, Australia. Wearing a hat has nothing to do with Vit D deficiency.

I know enough not to be confined in my house 4 days in a row because my kid won't wear a hat.

I know about various types of sunscreen, including sprays for the scalp, UV rays, indicated hours , how to time outings and ensure shade and breaks.

DD is 10 and has never had sunburn and we've been in much hotter/exposed climates than the UK.

I havent read it all but we live on costa del sol and dont wear hats. Factor 50 all over after easter and for my youngest who is very fair with clippered hair we buy a spf hair spray from boots, haven been for 2 years but I hope they still do it as we have run out. We always sit in shade so it is for 1-2 hour bursts out on the pool or beach and we always try to go early or late to avoid the most intense sun.

My friend can sit in the sun no bother I on the other hand would be like the wicked witch, IM MELTING. Im so pale, i need sun glasses in the bath for the glare

Only mumsnet can make out your insane for wanting to try and prevent a very fair child from burning. I'm off, thanks anyway.

Exactly - good on you!

I think you're right OP. Just stick with it, he will give in and it be much easier in the summer. Like the idea of you all wearing hats when you go out...just to normalise it!

Sun cream in hair

I have ginger children. They were wearing sunscreen today and yesterday as it was definitely possible for them to burn as the weather was over this weekend. Having checked the forecast we'll be spraying it on before school in the early part of this week too.

They weren't keen on hats so we adapted. Hair long enough to cover the back of the neck, and sunscreen sprayed into partings and on tops of ears. Playing in the shade in the heat of the day. They've never been sunburned - there are lots of actions you can take if something appears to be a deal breaker to your toddler, who is not capable of negotiating. You just need to work around it :)

@SelfBuild

Only mumsnet can make out your insane for wanting to try and prevent a very fair child from burning. I'm off, thanks anyway.

Oh please don't go.

Of course you don't want your child to be sunburned! I assume you live somewhere hot because it is still pretty cold here in England despite the sun showing its face a bit.

I haven’t read all the replies but I just want to say that I’m with you. I understand exactly where you are coming from. Me and my son are both very pale (ginger, freckles) and it’s not just about burning. We both suffer from sunstroke if we don’t wear hats in bright sun - even cold. I’ve burned on a skiing trip when it was freezing cold. UV light and heat are different things, it’s entirely possible to burn in April, I freckle up outside in this weather. I did this weekend. My son’s grandad has the same complexion and many skin cancers. It’s not something to laugh off.

So obviously I had the same rule as you when my boy was a toddler. He was less grumpy about it, unfortunately, so I don’t have any hat wearing tips. But don’t let people think you’re being OTT. It’s entirely reasonable to want to establish a new habit before the sun gets really fierce.

I used to burn in April but never at other times. Usually out on a hike up a hill where the morning had started freezing and I'd only put on a very thin layer of moisturiser with factor 15 in.

The sun is strong now and skin is at its palest. The cool weather deceives.

I’m in Australia and leaving the hat off is not an option unless we want our kids to get skin cancer. So clearly it’s not an impossible task. You wear the hat or you don’t go outside. It works, you just have to stick to your guns.

So if this is what you want to happen you just have to be patient OP. And get hats with an elastic strap, makes it harder for them to pull them off. I would be inclined to take him outside and then put the hat on. If he rips it off you give him a few chances then you come back inside, so he’ll understand what he’s giving up.

Also I’m assuming everyone else in the family wears a hat outside?

You're the adult and he's the child, who is in charge here?
If you give in to him he'll work out that he can use this tactic again for something else, and something else, and something else and so on and so on, until he turns into an obnoxious little brat who rules the roost.
I would make a compromise this time and this time only and make it crystal clear that this is s once only deal.
The compromise is to slather his head with sunscreen, I doubt he'll like it and it will make his hair look funny. Whilst you're applying the sunscreen clearly tell him that he doesn't have to wear a hat but he will have to have this done every time and if you're out in the sun for any length of time, make a point of reapplying it. I'm guessing that after a couple of times of having this done, he'll pick up a hat to wear rather than be subjected to having the sunscreen slathered in his hair.

Just use suncream. The stress this is causing all of you far outweighs the risk of the sun at this time of year. Come.back to it again when the weather warms up even more. If you have to cake suncream all over their hair to try get some scalp coverage then do it, they probably won't care,.just want to be outside enjoying the warm.

@Harmonypuss

The kid is basically a baby. Your suggestions are pretty unkind especially for a young kid who has no idea of action and consequence.

No fresh air for 4 days. Awful. Think of something else to protect him, that's your responsibility as his mother. In your attempts to 'protect' him, you're just being cruel.

@Harmonypuss

You're the adult and he's the child, who is in charge here? If you give in to him he'll work out that he can use this tactic again for something else, and something else, and something else and so on and so on, until he turns into an obnoxious little brat who rules the roost. I would make a compromise this time and this time only and make it crystal clear that this is s once only deal. The compromise is to slather his head with sunscreen, I doubt he'll like it and it will make his hair look funny. Whilst you're applying the sunscreen clearly tell him that he doesn't have to wear a hat but he will have to have this done every time and if you're out in the sun for any length of time, make a point of reapplying it. I'm guessing that after a couple of times of having this done, he'll pick up a hat to wear rather than be subjected to having the sunscreen slathered in his hair.

He's not even two. Your suggestions assume that he can reason as if he were much older. Have you ever tried to reason with an under-two?