Calling children by name in public

[Nocaloriesinchocolate]

Just musing about this. I and DH have just got back from a country park, which of course was filled with children (and it was lovely to see them having fun). We spent some time seated on a bench and dusting that time learnt the names of at least half a dozen toddlers, because Mum (or adult with them) was calling to them. It crossed my mind that it would be easy for someone unscrupulous to call a toddler by his/her name in that situation and s/he would probably come to you thinking you must know him/her because you know their name.

Furthermore, there were lots of bushes to hide in.

Yet how else is Mum/adult to attract children;s attention except by calling them by name.?

Any thoughts or am I overreacting?

Oh, and while I’m at it, one toddler appeared from behind a bush and stared at us, so I smiled and said hello. Should I have ignored him? Yes, some strangers can be vile but most aren’t and I didn’t want him to think that all strangers are unfriendly.

We were never allowed T shirts with our names on fir this reason.

I'll take my chances. I will worry about DC getting bullied, getting sick, being injured, being anxious, being happy. I will not worry about calling them by name in public. Do you know how many stranger (i.e. not taken by a relative) abductions there have been?

Given that kids are much more at risk from people they actually know, I just can't be worrying about trying to hide my children's names in public.

And I'd be watching my toddler pretty closely anyway.

Older kids who require less direct supervision can be taught sensible rules about interacting with strangers.

It just doesn't seem like something anyone should be worrying about. There's enough going on in the world without manufacturing extra worries.

I think over acting. If toddler age parents should be keeping a close eye. If older can be taught things such as using a secret code word. Basically tell child a random word and to ask anyone wanting them to go with what the secret code word is as the person will only know it if been told.
Nothing wrong at all saying Hi to a child

How many child abductors do you think are hanging around in the bushes in crowded country parks?

When was the last incident of a toddler being snatched in broad daylight in a crowded public place?

If I’m at the point of worrying about calling my children by their name in public I’ve got far bigger problems than the potential for child abduction by a stranger.

I don't think you need to worry in normal circumstances. Most toddlers don't go somewhere on their own, they are closely watched by their parents etc.

You are completely overthinking this.

You are overreacting.

If someone is going to abduct a child I doubt very much that they are going to be concerned about trying to learn their name first.

Not something I'd worry about. Names are there to identify by and to be used.

Parents should be supervising their toddlers properly anyway.

I call mine ‘ratbags’, it seems to work.

Contrary to popular belief, the bushes are not full of people waiting to snatch your child
Children are most at risk of abuse by people who are known to them already, especially family
You are totally overthinking it

Not an issue if they're anything like my children who subconciously ignore their names

I think this is one of these things people worry about when the chances of it happening are miniscule. And it makes you look nuts.

What people need to spend time worrying about is the things which actually happen to children. Eg sexual abuse is almost always by a close relative. Or the rate of climate change which will have a real impact on our children's generation with potential water shortages in some parts of the world. So op I'd advise you spend your time thinking about the things which could realistically harm your child.

I call mine cats if I require my children I shout "hey kitty cats line your tails up" people think I'm doing it for stranger danger safety reasons but really it's because I CBA to list there names

I told my children the password was supercalifragilistic on the grounds that it is unlikely to be guessed or to be said as part of any normal sentence. Had to keep a very close eye on them as toddlers, they attempted escape on a regular basis!

It's not just over thinking, it's a little unhinged.

Very glad people think I’m overreacting. It was just a musing - my DS is 36 and I have no grandchildren so I have no personal interest in this. Thank you all for your comments.

Thinking back I think I usually called DS “darling” or something when I called him. I only used his name when I was cross with him. And when I was very cross I used the diminutive form of his name which he hated (and still does!).

Names being secret would make a really interesting concept for a dystopian short story though.

I think you are overthinking this! The kind of child that would happily wander up to a stranger calling their name, is the same
Type of child who would respond to a simple
‘Hello lovely’.

What else are you supposed to call them? My 2 year old only answers to his name. Parents should be staying close to small children anyway. Children are most at risk from people they know, abductions by strangers are vanishingly rare.

I thought it was going to be about teens and the death that is identifying yourself as their parent by calling their name 😄

Furthermore, there were lots of bushes to hide in is an amazing line.

Oh Lordy OP, stranger danger is a rare thing. It’s the people kids know and trust who are more likely to do them harm. That’s why you need to be as open as you can with your kids so they’ll tell you if something odd happens or someone asks them to keep the wrong kind of secret.

My niece was friendly with the kids next door, their dad showed his penis to her, said would she like to touch it and it would be their secret. Fortunately she was the kind of kid who couldn’t keep a secret and she blurted it out over lunch. Sadly the police were useless and botched the investigation. The family moved house again to another authority so no doubt he was able to try his moves again without anything catching up to him to alert others to his dreadful ways.