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Original poster

Went out tonight and feel more lonely than ever

42 replies

Megasaurus · 14/04/2021 20:17

I met 4 girlfriends in a wine bar garden in town tonight and got home feeling more sad and lonely than ever.

I've forgotten how to talk or socialise, I've always been a bit socially anxious and awkward.

I just felt so outside of the conversation tonight. I tried a few times to get involved but just felt pretty swept aside.

Ugh. I just don't know how to speak to people any more apparently. I feel totally outside of the group now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Megasaurus · 14/04/2021 20:18

Actually just cried in an Uber. How embarrassing.

OP posts:
BaaHumbugg · 14/04/2021 20:20

Aw hope you're ok OP, your friends were probably just happy to see you and some people are more listeners than talkers, please don't be so hard on yourself, it's not worth it! You have to be your own champion.

DollyMixtureLulus · 14/04/2021 20:21

I completely understand Flowers

We've been through the 'high' of the pandemic with the huge number of deaths and the fear, and now we can begin to think of ourselves and realise how much we've missed.

But you have 4 friends who must love you and will have been really, really glad to see you, I am sure of it Flowers

BaaHumbugg · 14/04/2021 20:21

Unless you felt your friends were deliberately excluding you, in which case find new ones!

Tiredmum100 · 14/04/2021 20:23

Its not embarrassing to cry in an user, don't worry about that! I know what you mean. I've always been a bit reserved and sometimes dreaded nights out as its out of my comfort zone!! It's been such a long time since we were allowed to socialize. Dont let it knock you. It was the 1st time out, just think next time it will be a bit better and the time after that better again. I do get the feeling completely, I went to the toilet to cry at a wedding party once as felt a bit left out/not part of it. I just accept the fact I'm a bit more an introvert now.

CornedBeef451 · 14/04/2021 20:24

I am pretty awkward and have definitely got worse in the last year. I think it's going to take some time for us to practise and build confidence again.

I met my new neighbour as we put our bins out last week and just blurted kitten information at her rather than asking polite questions or offering our names or you know, normal stuff.

Give it time, it's like learning social skills all over again but it'll happen...hopefully at least.

I hid from her last night so I didn't do it again!

OverByYer · 14/04/2021 20:28

Aww don’t worry too much. I met with friends last week and we all kept talking over each other. It was like we had alll forgotten our manners. I’m the quietest of the group so did feel a bit overlooked but hopefully this da will settle back to normal

Goawayquickly · 14/04/2021 20:29

I think lots of us have lost the social knack. Don't cry, if you like your friends and its generally fine maybe send a group text saying how lovely it was to see them and lightly say it's strange to be social again but you really enjoyed it

Original poster
Megasaurus · 14/04/2021 20:35

Oh bless you guys. I wish we could have a MN night out for socially awkward people. Thanks

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 14/04/2021 20:37

I'm not socially awkward but have lost all sense of humanity this last year. I feel for you Flowers

Original poster
Megasaurus · 14/04/2021 20:37

I wonder how many people are going to go home from their first night out in a year in tears.

OP posts:
Dizzywizz · 14/04/2021 20:37

I’d be up for that @Megasaurus!

Original poster
Megasaurus · 14/04/2021 20:39

@Dizzywizz

I’d be up for that *@Megasaurus*!
We could all talk too much when people have gone quiet and then laugh nervously at inappropriate moments.
OP posts:
Original poster
Megasaurus · 14/04/2021 20:56

I've just climbed into bed and am slightly cringe at my weirdness tonight. I take comfort in the fact that other people are anxious about having to re-socialise themselves too.

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coronafiona · 14/04/2021 20:56

Aw @Megasaurus don't worry. Social skills take practise like lots of other skills; it'll come back to you and you'll reconnect. Could you contact your friends and share a bit if how you felt? I bet they're feeling a bit the same, at least partly.

Cam2020 · 14/04/2021 21:00

I think it'll take a lot of people some time to get back into social situations. I'm generally quite chatty but i dont feel like I have anything intereating to say right now!

User135644 · 14/04/2021 21:00

Group socialising is always difficult for introverts anyway. I know i'm more comfortable in groups of 2 or 3. I switch off in groups.

Original poster
Megasaurus · 14/04/2021 21:04

Thanks guys.

Yes, I'm definitely an introvert, I shrink the louder people get, even good friends.

I might message them tomorrow and say I was feeling anxious/weird. But they all seemed to be having a great time and drank way more than me so they might not remember/relate. I'm definitely the most introverted.

I was so relieved to get home, jump into bed and get on MN. I feel like such a social weirdo, I'm pushing 40 ffs. Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Megasaurus · 14/04/2021 21:04

@User135644

Group socialising is always difficult for introverts anyway. I know i'm more comfortable in groups of 2 or 3. I switch off in groups.
Exactly. It's a lonely feeling isn't it.
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LunaNorth · 14/04/2021 21:29

I’ve loved the lack of FOMO over lockdown.

I’m am introvert who doesn’t want to miss out on things she doesn’t want to go to.

It’s been such a relief not to have that contradiction to tussle with. Now it’s back Sad

SpringItIsThen · 14/04/2021 21:32

FlowersBrew
Here you are, OP. Don't mind awkward chats and laughing about it. Makes it less awkward actually.Smile

ICantBeDoingWithThis · 14/04/2021 21:37

I know how you feel OP, my stomach goes in knots if I even think about having to meet people I know and like for a meal or pop round and that was before lockdown. I’m quite happy keeping in contact by texts!
I think I might be one of the only people who had no problems with lockdown as bad as that might sound. It didn’t change my life at all from the normal routine!

Original poster
Megasaurus · 14/04/2021 21:37

@LunaNorth

I’ve loved the lack of FOMO over lockdown.

I’m am introvert who doesn’t want to miss out on things she doesn’t want to go to.

It’s been such a relief not to have that contradiction to tussle with. Now it’s back Sad

Yes, that's exactly what I'm like.

Then I go out and feel like a total outsider and wish I was in bed with my cats.Grin

OP posts:
ComDummings · 14/04/2021 21:40

Aw I’m sorry OP. I think many people will be feeling the same at the moment though. I’ve been a SAHM for 7 years so feel quite socially awkward anyway but this past year has really knocked me back and I’m dreading socialising. Not that I had much of a social life before but the odd evening here and there. Anyway, you’re not alone at all Flowers

Original poster
Megasaurus · 14/04/2021 21:45

Everyone is so kind. I feel better after posting Thanks

We're going for drinks with another couple on Friday, hopefully that'll be better. DH thinks so, as he says they're as weird as us so it'll be fine 😄

OP posts:
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