Fasting for children and Ramadan 2021

[Yazkiz]

Is any one's children fasting for Ramadan at 11 years old? My son is fasting for the 1st time. I'm worried especially this year with Covid if his immune system goes down during Ramadan.

At my local school, the kids tend to do their first fast in Year 6. The school does make adjustments for them though- no playtime or lunchtime (they sit quietly inside instead, supervised by a teacher marking) and I don't think they do PE either. With Ramadan being in the summer it has previously had a bit of an impact on their SATs and it's very hot, so the school says that they expect that children will drink during the day as needed and if kids feel faint they will offer water and call parents.

The young are exempt from Ramadan as you know, but I don't see an issue with the attempt provided he continues to drink and that he knows there is no spiritual or familial penalty for breaking the fast if needed.

I teach in a school where 1000 of the students are Muslim and the majority fast to some extent.
Some will drink throughout the day, some may have a light lunch and some will spit out their saliva to not swallow it. Most choose to fast and a handful feel pressured into it- those pressured into it tend to eat and drink at school and probably don’t tell their parents.

I think teaching self sacrifice, self discipline and real empathy for those who go hungry on a day to day basis is great to learn.

Do posters remember the 24 hour fasts that were done by children for charity in the 90s? Possibly 80s?

I am not Muslim, I don't even know anyone who is but I just wanted to comment that I don't think it's too awful to fast in the day then have a feast at night for a short period of time. I do think water should always be available though, for children.

I imagine that's better than a 24 hour fast!

The education point is troubling though. Definitely something to keep an eye on, I'm sure your husband isn't radicalising your son but planting ideas like that could make him more susceptible to others who do try.

Ramadan is very important. It's one of the 5 pillars of our faith.

I have 5 children and only my eldest who is 13 soon is old enough to do it. I definitely don't think my second eldest daughter could do it. But my eldest boy does and he loves it. He loves the benefits of fasting and enjoys doing it as it is an important part of our religion. He keeps busy during the day and by mid afternoon is only when he starts to feel hungry. He has a big iftar and suhoor and enjoys having those meals as like a previous PP said,its like a little celebration at the end of the day.
I'm not fasting because one, I just had a baby. And two, am breastfeeding so I am exempt from fasting. However, I am trying to complete the Quran as that's something also Muslims do every Ramadan, as well as give charity. It's a wonderful time and not many people understand it.

I understand that they want to do it but children want to do all sorts, you just just say no. When my children say ‘but Noah is aloud to play fortnight’ I just say different families have different rules.
I’m all for fasting for adults but a long day with no drinking for a ten year old? Absolutely not. As many have suggested a compromise seems like the best option to get him involved without risking his health or his concentration at school while he is trying to catch up after lockdown.

@PopsicleHustler

Ramadan is very important. It's one of the 5 pillars of our faith.

I don’t think anyone is suggesting it’s not important but there is some concern for a young boy who feels pressure to fast so he doesn’t disappoint his father. It seems a bit coercive Surely any God would want an act of worship or sacrifice in his name to be done by free choice not obligation to a parent? DS has friends who fast, the youngest started at 9 but he very much wanted to do it himself and his parents were proud of him but also slightly concerned about his health rather than pressuring him not to let them down by breaking his fast too early.

@Yazkiz

Yes he goes to school everyday. He is the oldest child in the family. He was ok today. He is doing his best fasting. He looks forward to breaking the fast as a family. He is a good boy. Although he feels obliged to do it and he doesn't want to disappoint his father as he is the oldest son and his daddy said Ramadan is more important than school.

Not a Muslim myself but I have lots of friends who have gone through this. He is certainly too young to fast for a month, even in normal times. But there is nothing wrong with trying to fast. You suggest that daddy is his hero and he wants to live up to his expectations - so dad really needs to step up here and explain to him that he will support him to try with fasting, but that he is very young and isn't expected to succeed. Perhaps aim for a happy medium, of fasting on a weekend day. Or for part of the day - say after school until the fast is broken with the family. That way your son has realistic goals that protect him, and help him to succeed in his own personal fast, so that dad can remember to say how proud he is of him!

@OverTheRainbow88 how much empathy do they have for those who go hungry every day if they have a big meal every time they break their fast.

I notice that there are a number of posts about children wanting their father's to be proud of them. Do they not want their mothers to be proud of them as well?

I assume that is the hierarchy in their particular home @RampantIvy

[quote ineedaholidaynow]@OverTheRainbow88 how much empathy do they have for those who go hungry every day if they have a big meal every time they break their fast.[/quote]
It is very hard during the day.

I’m sure it is @Plumtree391. I know I couldn’t do it. But people who fast for part of the day and have a big meal in the evening can’t really compare themselves with people who have hardly any food at all

[quote ineedaholidaynow]@OverTheRainbow88 how much empathy do they have for those who go hungry every day if they have a big meal every time they break their fast.[/quote]
Speaking for my own family, no idea about the rest of the 1.9 billions Muslims in the world who observe Ramadan.

When we break fast we don't have a big meal. when you have not eaten all day, you can't really comfortably eat a huge meal.

We break fast with a date, (I highly recommend Yaffa dates they're delicious and support Palestinian farmers) and water. Then we pray

We usually have a dinner (chicken katsu curry for tonight for anyone looking for dinner inspiration). And we have starters, of about two or three things. We also share a plate of fruit.

Pre-covid, we would share plates of whatever food was freshly prepared for our evening meal, with our neighbours.

I tend to emphasise hydration and chase everyone around with glasses of water and ensure everyone drinks water continuously till the end of the pre-dawn meal.

Sometimes we have a rose flavoured milk with our meal as it is cooling.

When you are hungry all day, you know exactly how privileged you are to sit down to a fresh lovely meal at dusk.
My children save up and make donations during Ramadan to local charities, friends and family donate and volunteer (not so much now it's just donating) at local food banks. I know of a sister (a Muslim lady), who volunteers at a soup kitchen and donates food there as well as serves the people who use it (she does it whilst fasting).

Fasting is supposed to make you appreciate what you have, be grateful for the privileges in your life, and try and address the imbalance by increasing donating to charities.
We try and give to charities that benefit long term to the recipient in the hopes they will in future be in a place to be able to make their own charitable donations. One of my favourite charities is 'send a cow' as it is designed to set people up to be able to make their own living.

Personally in my family Ramadan and fasting makes us revaluate our lives, we try and be better human beings, we concentrate on acts of worship more.

My DC know that Islam and attaining excellence in life are not mutually incompatible. They are encouraged to aim high in this life in whatever they choose to do, and give back to their community to build a place in the next.

Thank you for that @frazzledasarock.

If you are a family that doesn’t have much (so one who is more likely to benefit from a food bank) would you still be expected to make donations, or would it be more donation of time eg volunteering, rather than giving money etc.

If your DC are doing exams (DS is Y11 so currently doing non GCSEs) would you be able to break your fast as he would not cope without something to eat/drink and concentrate fully on exams?

The compulsory charitable donations are encumbent on people who have wealth in excess of their needs and gold of a certain value.

The charity owed is 2.5% of the value of excess wealth.

So if your money is going on bills and you have no gold you don't owe anything.

however in my experience of friends and family and my kids we give as much as we can, regardless. I was once on the bare bones of my arse, and never want another person to feel that fear of how to feed their children. So we give without calculating it past that we have met the rules.

There is a charitable donation which every Muslim adult who has food in excess to their needs must pay before the Eid prayer, so on the last day of Ramadan. It is £7 per person currently. It's distributed to the poor so they can also enjoy Eid.

@ineedaholidaynow

I’m sure it is *@Plumtree391*. I know I couldn’t do it. But people who fast for part of the day and have a big meal in the evening can’t really compare themselves with people who have hardly any food at all

I'm sure they don't any more than us giving something up for the sake of others is comparable to people starving or without access to water. However it is something all do together, makes them think about it and appreciate the good things they have. They give alms to the poor, not just during Ramadan but particularly during Ramadan.

@ineedaholidaynow

Most our exam year students didn’t fast during their exam period and made up the time at a different time.

It’s as though my son and your son live on different planets OP as to their parallels with their lives.

I think the idea if just having plain rice and naan is a great idea. It's boring and uninteresting so your DS will still be able to focus on empathising with people too poor to eat/eat nothing more than the basics but he will still be able to focus at school.

He could "top it up" by eating boring (but nutritious) food after sunset so he is offsetting the rice in the day. And only water, no juice at all

Or do the same hours as mecca? I do think it tough that fasting Was based on a country that doesn't have the long daylight hours we do. I think lining up with SA makes sense.

I think every other day sounds like an excellent compromise for his age. It’s very impressive. I tried one year in solidarity with those I teach and it was unbelievably difficult.

Thank you "OverThe Rainbow88", it is working out for our family. I'm impressed with your involvement with your students. You're a great teacher x

My mum used to have Muslim neighbours and they often used to bring delicious dishes of food over for her during Ramadan. My mum was on her own and fairly recently widowed.

I'm glad you started this thread OP. It has given me a greater understanding. Thank you.

@frazzledasarock

From a health point of view our children are fine. We are also fine.

Had there been a health scare because a Muslim child chose to fast you bet it would be front page news resurrected every Ramadan.

I don't know if the OP is for real, every Muslim parent I know takes their cue from their child, children will eat if they are hungry and don't want to fast. We all have stubborn kids who want to copy us, and the littlies usually break their 'fasts' at lunchtime, or simply forget and eat.

The concern is not necessary. Although having been on MN for years, I can predict the veiled racist xenophobic posts starting each Ramadan dressed up as 'concern'.

The only time there were no posts were when the Grenfell Tower tragedy happened, and fasting Muslims being the ones who were awake that time in the night woke and alerted residents, saving many lives.

This. 100%

I think also many Muslims encourage their Children to start practicing fasting quite young as it is much easier to do if you are used to it. As someone up thread said it can really be quite tough, even when you know you’ll get a substantial meal at the end of the day. I never fasted as a child so it is much harder for me than my husband. It does make you appreciate what it like the feel hungry and yet know you are blessed with food at the end of the day. There are of course many Muslims who don’t do a proper fast, ie sleep more in the day and are up at night eating. There is no rulr against this but more pious Muslims probably would avoid doing this. Like with any religion , there are members who are more or less observant.