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Original poster

When, if ever, does the urge to have more children pass?

62 replies

Wheretogoontrip · 13/04/2021 09:09

We have two beautiful children and although we'd originally talked about two or three we've decided to stop here for various reasons, mostly practical

I've read here that the urge for a third does fade in time, when is that typically? I'd love for it to stop, because I have to keep reminding myself of all the sensible reasons why we've made a decision, or is that wishful thinking and I'll always feel a bit broody?Both DC are still small so lots of hormones I think

No need to tell me to enjoy the kids I have - I absolutely do and thank my lucky stars every day!

OP posts:

TokyoSushi · 13/04/2021 10:52

The urge went away for me when both of mine went to school. Things suddenly got so much easier and I knew that I didn't want to go back! My period was a few days late, and my overwhelming feeling was 'oh please no' and that's when I knew I was done. Up until then, a third would have been ok by me!

GoodbyeH · 13/04/2021 10:54

I have 3. We wanted 4. That changed when DC3 didn't sleep through the night until they were 3! I was utterly exhausted and the thought of squeezing another one out and not sleeping again for years put me right off!

GoodbyeH · 13/04/2021 10:54

Also. Get pets. Lots of them! The busier the better.

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Toilenstripes · 13/04/2021 10:54

I’ve never been broody, but have wondered if that’s been a blessing or a curse.

justanotherneighinparadise · 13/04/2021 11:00

I wasn’t broody at all until 35. Complete blessing.

mindutopia · 13/04/2021 11:03

Mine went away the second I had my 2nd. I only ever wanted 2. I had the two that I wanted. That was enough. Never really had a desire for another.

NerrSnerr · 13/04/2021 11:05

Sometimes I wish I had a tiny baby again but I hate every single thing about pregnancy and finally have my life back a bit now my youngest is 4. Not sure I fancy the all consuming toddler years again.

Larryslockdownlunch · 13/04/2021 11:13

Ok, I'm just gonna say, do it now because it doesn't go away and you'll end up 43 with a newborn like me. Do it get sterilised, then never think about babies again.

Blueskies3 · 13/04/2021 11:29

I wish it would. I am still waiting for it to pass. I have two and my youngest is 3 years old and I am still looking at babies and wishing for one. Yet I know 2 is the best decision for us. It is so hard.

randomlyLostInWales · 13/04/2021 11:41

I've read here that the urge for a third does fade in time, when is that typically?

When my youngest hit around 7.

I did read that an alternative chinese population control method one favoured by many scientist was two children but a 7 year gap between - and where it was trailed many families stopped at one child anyway without any further pressure.

Firenight · 13/04/2021 12:18

Definitely now the youngst of 2 is 7. She would have loved a younger sibling but the gap would be too much now for us and I wouldn't go back to that stage. The 2 I have fight constantly which is a great deterrent.

DustyMaiden · 13/04/2021 12:25

I had two aged 12 and 14, decided to have another. Had another.

I’m now 59 and just deciding I wouldn’t want to do it again.

StayingHere · 13/04/2021 12:54

I found myself pretty much over it once DS turned 5. It was compounded by the fact my friend had a baby and she was gorgeous but made me glad I was past that stage! I still sometimes wonder what 3 would have been like, but I am genuinely content with 2 now and would be horrified to be pregnant. .

Woodlandbelle · 13/04/2021 12:57

I was very broody after baby no 1 so much so I had another straight away (Judy over a year apart) but after no 2 I felt very content and happy so that was is for me. I did get a slight pang couple of years later (due to age and now or never) but very very happy now and no more for me.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 13/04/2021 12:58

After DC2 I wasnted to go on to three or four. Now pg with dc3 and totally sure this is the last one. So in my case I'd say it stopped when I had as many kids as I pictured in my imaginary family - luckily for me that wasn't out of kilter with what I could have.

Shorthairlady · 13/04/2021 13:08

When I realised Exp was going to sit back and watch me do it all.

BlueJag · 13/04/2021 13:27

We have one 15 year old DS. We think it's the right number for us. We can afford with ease what he needs his shoes are £62 from Clarks. Nothing fancy the are just narrow. We had to buy him a new wardrobe last year as he grew 23cms since 2019. 6'0 tall now.
He has private piano lessons £30 pounds a week.
I can go on and on. He isn't spoiled at all in his attitude and he is a dream teen. I was also able to stay at home with him.

doctorboo · 13/04/2021 14:13

I’ve got three, the third came along sooner than planned and is now in year 1 of primary school.
I still think about having another and have gone from never ever, to desperate, and then back again multiple times and very recently
I’m late thirties, in a new job that fits life right now and if we decide to go for it I’d wait until I’d done two years (job/rights protection) and then try. But this would put me over 40, with two in secondary school and the youngest very very close to joining them. Baby number four doesn’t seem so appealing when I consider the above and my ovaries are behaving.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/04/2021 14:15

I was set on 2 throughout (and every day since) my second pregnancy. I was so so set.

It must be hard if you want a third to ignore that want.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 13/04/2021 14:24

The feeling went away for me after having my first child when I was 22! 8 years later and still no desire for more children.

BrilliantBetty · 13/04/2021 14:29

Please tell me it goes away!! I am a hormonal, broody, horny mess every ovulation.
It's mentally draining.

I know I can't have another and give my two the life I want to give them.

It's a practical decision and it is the right one for me but it is upsetting. I am 30 so I probably have another few years of this. I plan to foster kittens when my youngest is school age. All that cuteness might help

blowinahoolie · 13/04/2021 14:43

Got 4. Done. No desire to do it all again. Youngest will be 4yo this year.

Creepygnochi · 13/04/2021 14:56

@BrilliantBetty

Please tell me it goes away!! I am a hormonal, broody, horny mess every ovulation. It's mentally draining.

I know I can't have another and give my two the life I want to give them.

Definitely helps.

Dh was definitely the broody one between us during our 20's/early 30's. Then the baby animals came along and he was suddenly no longer interested in baby humans. Dd14 was my turn to be broody and for him to drag his feet, and poor baby dd was a want rather than a need that neither of us were particularly throbbing for.

AndreaMarteau · 13/04/2021 15:01

I have 2 and hypothetically would have liked another. We did talk about trying for another when I was around 36/37 but reality hit and we ultimately decided against it.

I don't regret it for a second. I'm now 45 and tbh, I sometimes wonder why I ever wanted any kids at all. Although I love them to bits, the urge and broodiness has gone and I actively recoil from other people's babies (although I hide it well). It's great.

LadyofMisrule · 13/04/2021 17:14

As I was in labour with child #4 - the relief of knowing that I'd never have to do it again.

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