Multiple maternity leaves... Would you be annoyed with your colleague?

[ChikiTIKI]

I started working somewhere in 2016 and am just finishing up my second maternity leave since starting there.

If you were a colleague or manager of mine would you be annoyed that I had taken this time off?

And if I took a third and final maternity leave any time soon... Would you be furious?

I'm NHS.

I think it's par for the course and whenever we appoint a new mid 30s colleague we expect it.

We don't always get maternity cover in which makes things harder for everyone else. It would be unusual to have a third mat leave as most colleagues only have 2 kids but I don't think anything would be said.

The thing that pisses our team off though is when people come back to work and start expecting special favours wt working hours (e.g on call from 5pm but when phone to come in says they can't as they have no childcare until 6pm meaning that the person who was meant to finish at 5pm is essentially stuck at work until 6pm) and telling those of us without kids that we can't have annual leave in school holidays or over Christmas. Don't be that person.

Thanks @acovic

I wouldn't be expecting special treatment regarding reduced hours etc. I was surprised to be offered to reduce hours after this maternity leave so will trial a few less hours a week using annual leave but if I end up pregnant again before the trial is up I will be honest about it and see if they want to wait until next mat leave is finished to see what hours suits the team at the time, before making any permanent changes.

3rd no, 5th or 6th (like a colleague of mine) yes! I'd be judgy in private though, wouldn't say anything to anyone.

A large organisation can withstand it better than a small company but with 5 or 6 kids in a small amount of time, you'd think it be better to just stay at home with them because of all the childcare costs, but then I can't imagine what it's like to have more than 3 kids, I only have 2.

@Acovic that's terrible! NHS here too, although not come across people behaving like that, if I'm on call I make sure it's a day dh is home on time.

Although the nhs is a big organisation, like you say we don't always have cover for the leave people take so it is harder. I dont thinking have the guts to tell my boss about pregnancies 4, 5 and 6 like the girl I knew I was nervous enough announcing number 2!

@ChikiTIKI I’m going off topic here but this colleague didn’t even ask for reduced hours.

She just announced on the day that she hadn’t actually bothered to organise childcare to cover her contractural hours.

Her entire childcare plan consisted of hoping that she was never called in to cover an emergency during the time her husband wasn’t home.

Would your employer make you redundant if needed to? Of course they would!

Don't base decisions about having children on whether your employer or colleagues will be annoyed with you...

If I was your colleague, I might be annoyed with the employer if they didn't sort adequate maternity cover. But I wouldn't blame you!

If I heard that other people were judging you, I would remind them that adequate maternity leave is essential if we want an equal work place for women (though more shared maternity/paternity leave would definitely help here). I'd also privately think they were a bit stupid for directing their annoyance towards the wrong person.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do .

No. I’ve known women get pregnant again long before the end of the first maternity leave
I had two stretches of 9 month maternity leave in a fairly short time

No one batted an eyelid

It entirely depends whether your employer is in a position to obtain cover for you.

If they are then I wouldn't care.

If they are but choose not to - I'd be pissed off at employer.

If they aren't and you knew that and knew as a result that your colleagues workload would increase, then yes I'd be pissed off with you.

@acovic I wouldn't do anything like that! Sounds like a nightmare.

"Employers are aware of the risk of maternity leave when they employ women of child bearing age.

Try not to overthink things." @AdditionalCharacter

True, there is never a perfect time to get pregnant and have a family life, but employers are aware of this and some purposely avoid employing under 40's. My DH's company is one of them. Lots of senior women in the 50+ bracket, but very very few younger than 40. IT company. I think what the OP has explained makes it hard for young female professionals to get a job in the first place. It also makes it hard to convince an employer that you are not going to do what the OP is doing, because there is so much experience of this happening.

Those of you saying you would be annoyed it seems your annoyance is misplaced. You should be annoyed that your managers and employers are piss poor.

I think this has become more of an issue now that woman have longer maternity leaves. I had 6 months for each and that was usual until fairly recently. But women have babies, the issue is how businesses are supported to cover the leave.

@ChikiTIKI

I started working somewhere in 2016 and am just finishing up my second maternity leave since starting there.

If you were a colleague or manager of mine would you be annoyed that I had taken this time off?

And if I took a third and final maternity leave any time soon... Would you be furious?

I come from an industry where women wait until 35-40 to have kids and then often have back to back maternity leaves with only a few months gap. It’s fine. As long as you handover appropriately and do your job well when you’re not pregnant it’s nobody else’s business.

Honestly, it's not that colleagues are necessarily annoyed at the person taking repeat maternity leaves. They are an entitlement.

It's more likely that the circumstances of the business, perhaps unable to afford proper cover, unable to replace niche skill set etc. may cause some irritation because of the increased workload on them.

I did work somewhere where someone turned up 8 months pregnant for a 4 month temporary position. She stayed in the office 1 week before going on paid maternity that lasted longer than the contract and returned only to hand in her badge. That did turn a few heads and the activity she was meant to complete in that 4 months with her niche skill set was never completed.

No.

Life's too short and I honestly don't care about what others do.

Some companies are shit though. But that's the companies problem.

I do know someone once who didn't' have a third child that she really wanted because she was scared of putting more work on colleagues if she took another maternity leave. Absolutely crazy to live your life around other people and work like that. Ten years on she deeply regrets it and that job made her redundant a few years after anyway.

@Heysiriyouknob sorry that happened to your friend. I'm very aware that I could be made redundant/redeployed at any point. It's happened before. I could see my team being merged with another in the next few years.

I started my job in jan 2019.. Im 2 weeks in to my second mat leave. I know some people will judge me.

I was made redundant when I was pregnant with my first. I was very lucky to get this job. The time I've been at my company, I've worked damn hard and achieved good results in the 2 stints I've been there.

Some will judge. Some won't.

The 2 other people from my training course have both left the company. One left just before I returned from mat leave.

This wouldn’t bother me but I do think women who take a number of periods of leave over a relatively short period of time need to be realistic about their speed of career progression (although appreciate that wouldn’t bother everyone). I would say the same for any man who takes a period of leave though.

What I’m not a huge fan of is people who play the maximising enhanced maternity pay card. E.g. increase hours to full time just before announcing pregnancy to get increased maternity pay and then plan to come back part time again.

I reckon most people wouldn’t give two hoots but only if management don’t expect colleagues to cover for you. Ideally, there would be proper maternity cover or financial compensation. The reason it causes issues is when it imposes extra work on others and that really is a management problem.

I do feel sorry for small businesses though. Do they get any compensation? How does it work?

I do feel sorry for small businesses though. Do they get any compensation? How does it work?

Yes! The government cover standard maternity pay. So employer pays salary after the first 6 weeks. Only other cost to the employer is the recruitment of a replacement staff member. Hence all this hand wringing about small businesses being bankrupted or ‘can’t afford a replacement’ is utterly ridiculous.

Employer pays NO salary. Excuse my angry typing.

That assumes the employer only offers statutory maternity pay. Anything above that is funded by the company.

In real life it's a pain. Having to arrange cover can be awkward and tricky especially as you don't know for sure how long people will take etc .
Also I've known lots of women take the proverbial as soon as they are pregnant with calling in sick constantly which is nearly more messy than may leave as you can plan for it. Some of my team also came back much less committed. Didn't organise proper child care and are in and out every second day
Having said that I would never say it at work as it's their absolute right. Wouldn't be jumping for joy though.

@JennyBond

That assumes the employer only offers statutory maternity pay. Anything above that is funded by the company.

That’s their choice though - if they don’t want to pay it then they don’t have to.

Thankfully I didn't have any sick leave in my 2 successful pregnancies although did have about a week off for a miscarriage.