Multiple maternity leaves... Would you be annoyed with your colleague?

[ChikiTIKI]

I started working somewhere in 2016 and am just finishing up my second maternity leave since starting there.

If you were a colleague or manager of mine would you be annoyed that I had taken this time off?

And if I took a third and final maternity leave any time soon... Would you be furious?

As long as your job was covered and not spread out amongst other employees, I'd be fine with it. If your job wasn't covered, I'd be pissed off, but with my employer, not you.

'Annoyed' is the wrong question to ask. As a trustee of a very small charity that attracts female employees, it's something I've dealt with and that's the extent of my feelings - it's just something to 'deal' with. I have no emotional issues around staff members' mat leaves, rather it's a staffing challenge that I have to manage as best as I can with the resources available.

I have been irritated by former colleagues who have chosen to get impregnated over and over again, but it’s because I then have years of listening to them whining non stop about their lifestyle choice, expecting sympathy. ‘I was up all night, kid puked all over the bed and then I changed the cover and then kid number six shit himself and then blaaaaah fucking blah here’s a photo of my offspring, compliment me.’
I could not care less about parents drudgery.

I think your husband is right. If it took a year last time, then I'd stop preventing conception now. Don't delay 'trying'.

Don't worry about it, I found out i was pregnant halfway through a pretty important and very very competitive secondment that I then had to leave early.... That pissed off a lot of people I'd beaten to get it (in my defence I'd been told there was no way I'd fall pregnant without IVF and even that was a long shot). I then got promoted whilst on mat leave and I've just been selected for a different secondment project, after eighteen months back in work. My current team are very pleased for me even though it means I'll be gone for at least a year, the old old one not so much but lots of older men there who've been around thirty years and think that earns them opportunities. Thing is me moving around and up gives act up opportunities to my team, who I will bend over backwards to support to do them well, which often leads to more permanent opportunities for them longer term. Do what you need to do, I doubt male colleagues consider the feelings of team mates and managers when they make life decisions.

Personally no. As a manager to be honest it is a bit of a pain in the butt, trying to cover the post during absence. At the end of the day it is what it is, and you aren’t doing anything wrong.

Threads like this make me despair. Maternity leave is normal. The problem is bad management not the maternity leave. Providing cover, including cost of cover, should be factored into the business.

I would be interested to know actual costs involved to an employer, especially where maternity benefits are capped at statutory.

I say this as someone who has had three lots of maternity. I have also been a small employer who dealt with maternity leave and pay. So I am aware what it means for an employer. I received the statutory maternity pay as a lump sum and paid it monthly. It cost me personally very little.

It's all very well saying cover should be provided, but in many industries, it's just not practical.

You can get temps in for routine jobs that are quick and easy to learn, but if your work is specialised, it's usually impossible to get maternity cover and the work will be shared out amongst colleagues. So yes, people will be annoyed at having their workload increased because someone is on maternity leave.

It is life. The alternative is that women of child bearing age can't work which is obviously wrong. Having children is increasingly seen as a lifestyle choice which really makes me sad. It is life itself .

@BarbaraofSeville

It's all very well saying cover should be provided, but in many industries, it's just not practical.

You can get temps in for routine jobs that are quick and easy to learn, but if your work is specialised, it's usually impossible to get maternity cover and the work will be shared out amongst colleagues. So yes, people will be annoyed at having their workload increased because someone is on maternity leave.

I work in a highly specialised role. I can count on 1 hand the individuals who have an equivalent role across the country.

It would be very difficult to have somebody directly equivalent to me for a maternity cover. Equally the nature of my work means it can't be divided up.

My maternity leaves have resulted in promotion/training/New roles for people. Roles that ended up growing.

I realise I probably have an unusual role. But it can be done. Has been done in 3 different companies.

Whats the alternative? No maternity leave or women only able to work in roles that wouldn't be missed for a year at a time? We either value women in the work place or we don't.

I'm not saying women shouldn't have maternity leave or be valued in the workplace, just that you'd have to be extremely benevolent to not get annoyed when your own workload increases due to someone else's choices and just be expected to suck it up.

No. You’re entitled to maternity leave and it’s absolutely fine imo for you to take it.

@BarbaraofSeville

I'm not saying women shouldn't have maternity leave or be valued in the workplace, just that you'd have to be extremely benevolent to not get annoyed when your own workload increases due to someone else's choices and just be expected to suck it up.

But presumably you would be annoyed at your workplace for not arranging appropriate cover, not at the person who took mat leave.

But presumably you would be annoyed at your workplace for not arranging appropriate cover, not at the person who took mat leave

You would like to think so. Judging by this thread, most seem to blame the woman for having a baby. Not the shit management that should aware that getting pregnant is quite common in nearly 50% of younger, working age people.

It's not like it often happens suddenly and without warning!

I’m nhs I came back pregnant after baby no3 with baby no4, 20 weeks he was somewhat of a surprise mind you but I did feel bad as I wasn’t back long then off again. My work only cover if there is loads of us off as mostly female workplace (nurses)

I came back from mat leave pregnant with my second. The company were delighted for me both times!

I was stressed about telling work I was pregnant whilst still on maternity leave 1; my very straight talking friend said ‘he (manager) doesn’t own your vag, it’s perfectly reasonable for a woman to decide when she has kids’

So I told him (manager) the next day. I have had some stick from colleagues I won’t lie, they’re all men though it’s a male dominated company. It’s meant in jest so I didn’t get to irritated by it.

I think it depends what you do.

DD's teacher has just returned from maternity leave and is going on maternity leave before the summer holiday. She had only been back in school 5 or 6 months before the previous mat leave. It's disruptive for the children as they are having to have lots of different teachers. I think for the 'year' she was dd teacher she only taught them for 5 months and had quite a lot of time off during that period too. Which obviously can't be helped, but it's not great for the kids!

If it's an office job, then as long as colleagues don't have to do your work, or spend lots of time training others to do it then fine.

Not at all. Its not uncommon for women to come back from their first maternity leave already pregnant in my profession. I somewhat expect at least two maternity leaves within a few years if you are starting a family, we usually just advertise fixed term roles or secondments for 12 months (NHS)

My department at work was all women - there were about 20 of us all together, all in our twenties/ thirties.

I remember speaking with someone from HR once on a team building activity (when I first started) and she said that there has been at least 2 people on maternity leave from our team every year for the last 5 years and its to be expected. They make provisions for it and were organised in getting cover.
I, myself was covering mat leave, I then got offered a permanent role, then went on mat leave 15 months later!

Well I'm halfway through my third mat leave since 2016, also nhs. It is a pain for my team but that's because they never pay proper maternity cover. That's the managers/nhs' fault, not mine. And I have to be honest that work isn't my top priority, my kids are. Obviously I work hard when I'm at work, but I'm not willing to make all the personal sacrifices that I did previously any more. It is just a job.

I'd be jealous but that is my issue as I'm going through infertility and don't get leave for ivf and have to make up appointments in my own time. This is not your issue or your fault though and logically I'd know that.

If it's an office job, then as long as colleagues don't have to do your work, or spend lots of time training others to do it then fine
The maternity leaves are fine whether a she is a teacher or an office worker.

Well the correct answer on a forum with lots of Mums here is no, I wouldn’t mind at all, you have every right to do this.
However, in real life and unofficially yes I would be pissed off, especially if I was the owner of a small business having to find cover

I wouldn't be annoyed at you but I would be annoyed if I had to take on your work. Wherever I have worked they get a maternity cover in at the last minute who don't know the job and aren't trained properly. Others then end up doing the job on top of their own.