What should we pay?

[Thisgirlcando]

This is inspired by another thread. It is something that is argued about but very little changes made.

I want to know what you think would be fair for each person to pay.

Person A earns £42,000 per year, comes out with around £2250 a month.
Owns their own house, bought while with person B 6 years ago but person B couldn’t be on the mortgage because of credit issues. All person As deposit.
Mortgage £900 a month - can’t remortgage due to bad credit (sacked a couple of years earlier so fell behind on payments, kept this quiet initially, person B helped catch up)
CMS £400 (plus uniforms/clubs etc when needed)
Sky £70 - person B happy to cancel
Petrol £300
Gas/electric £150
Food £150
Broadband £30
Credit card payments £250

Person B - no kids. Earns £41,000 roughly £2150 a month.
Transfers £400 to Person A monthly
Council tax £150
Tv license £20?
Car finance £250
Petrol £250
Home improvement loan (person A owns house remember - was vital at the time) £120
Debt payments £250 (includes £120 towards person As debts)
Savings £200 - just person Bs but A regularly borrows and pays back from. £2000 saved in total.
Food £150

Person A complains about lack of disposable income, but by their own admission they are bad with money, able to purchase house due to an inheritance l. Person B almost out of debt, moved out at 18 and had to rely on credit initially which ruined credit history, almost out of debt now and credit history improved. Person B has paid for most of the decorating/home furnishings including that for the two children’s rooms of person A. Both have cancelled credit cards and are paying them off completely.

Do you think this set up is fair?

You both earn a very similar amount and spend a similar amount. Why do you not think it’s fair?

It’s not me that argues it!

You need to list all the income and expenditure to start with.
Each to be responsible for own debts, then work from that point.
Not enough information.

It seems fair-ish. I would be concerned if I was person B and was left with nothing if relationship breaks down. They would have no claim on the house but have contributed to mortgage and repairs?

Oh 😂 i guess if you add up JUST what should be shared bills (council tax, food etc) then person A is spending slightly more - £60 a month more by my quick scan. So maybe it’s not exactly split down the middle but it’s very close! Person A doesn’t have as much expendable money because of CMS and higher petrol cost unfortunately.

Person B is a mug.

Person B is incredibly at risk financially. They need to get their name on the mortgage.

I’m person B! It was suggested that I pay slightly more as my wage is due to go up soon but I said no. My reasons being I pay towards his debts. The £200 a month to saving isn’t really an outgoing because I still have it, but my plan is to save enough so that when both credit situations are improved we can remortgage together and I can put some money in at the same time OR save towards a small buy to let flat with my Dad for some security.

The loan was needed and only I could get it due to DP losing his job, for a couple of years the £400 was dropped to £300 to balance it out but my wage went up so I put it back. He has never asked me to pay towards his debt but it was for fixing the bathroom when we moved in - I’ve used it as much as him so don’t mind paying the rest off, he’s paid the majority over time. I do have more disposable income and do more..... but I don’t have two kids I’m paying for so I think that’s fair.

He also mentioned the mortgage being so high, but again he needed a bigger house for his kids, had I been the one to buy one I could have managed with a small 2 bed terrace.

We’re at the point now where in two months I will have paid off the loan and my side of the debts. I don’t want to up my payments as I will be no better off financially after working so hard to clear everything, but I understand him not wanting to be struggling when I’m more comfortable.

The house is in A's name is that right? Are you guys married?

You (B) effectively pay around £700 towards the house (assuming the £400 to A is really going towards that). A pays £1150 towards the house which is your £700 plus another £450. Is that right?

Where is the £400 you transfer to A? It's not mentioned as part of their outgoings? do they keep that as pocket money?

I think for me the answer to the question depends on whether you actually have a stake in the house (in which case maybe you need to contribute more if you earn more) or not (in which case you are already paying a more than reasonable amount towards the house given the amount that it actually costs to live there).

Petrol is fairly even and is personal so ignore.
Credit card and car finance are equal so ignore.
CMS £400 is seperate

A: is paying £400 on shared costs
B: is paying £170 in shared costs

Half of 570 is 285 so B should pay A 115 not 400.

B is being taken for a fool as they're covering everything shared

@SleepingStandingUp

Petrol is fairly even and is personal so ignore. Credit card and car finance are equal so ignore. CMS £400 is seperate

A: is paying £400 on shared costs
B: is paying £170 in shared costs

Half of 570 is 285 so B should pay A 115 not 400.

B is being taken for a fool as they're covering everything shared

Bugger is missed stuff B is paying 430 so total is 830 so half is 415. So technically A should be paying B £15

Debt payments £250 (includes £120 towards person As debts) this should be a shared expense so actually A should be paying £120+15=£135.

B is Def being screwed.

Why the hell are you paying our just over half the shared bills AND all the shared debt AND paying £400 to A?

No it is not fair.
Person B should NOT be paying £240 towards A's debts. You said the home improvement loan was needed, you were the only one who was able to secure the finance, but the house is in A's name. A should be paying the monthly repayment amount into your bank account. You already pay him £400 "rent", so are paying for use of the bathroom already. You are also paying a further £120 towards his debts.
This is money that could be going into your savings account £240 x 12 =£2880 per year.

He previously chose to have children and he now has to pay for that choice, as the children rightfully deserve. So that is a £400 commitment which it sounds as though he begrudges you not having to pay and therefore you have extra disposable income?

Without you he could not afford to live in this house so he should think himself lucky you are even there.

My plan was to get us both out of debt as quick as possible so that we can do more things together. I have hobbies that I really enjoy but we don’t do anything together because DP is always skint. I’m starting to think he is just one of those people that will forever be skint. I’m going to suggest we sit down and go through it all including what we’re on now and where we will be when I get my payrise and the debts are cleared, I will highlight it as our costs and joint costs though so he sees where I’ve been cutting him a lot of slack.

@SleepingStandingUp he doesn’t begrudge paying towards the kids. He pays £400 which is the minimum CMS but then pays his fair share towards other costs. In the past we went away and on his next payday he transferred me money without mentioning because he thought I had paid a lot of bits here and there on them during the week..... but then was really skint that month and had to borrow money from me!

Sorry, I meant it seemed as though he begrudged that you did not have a £400 bill to pay as well, and therefore you have more personal spends than him. I may have misinterpreted.

[quote Thisgirlcando]@SleepingStandingUp he doesn’t begrudge paying towards the kids. He pays £400 which is the minimum CMS but then pays his fair share towards other costs. In the past we went away and on his next payday he transferred me money without mentioning because he thought I had paid a lot of bits here and there on them during the week..... but then was really skint that month and had to borrow money from me![/quote]
I'd bloody hope not. But I just meant it doesn't come into shared expenses, I've learnt that on MN.

But he's only paying £400 on actual shared costs and then you're paying the same and then paying him 400 so you're covering it all. Then your joint debt.

I think you need to list every expense and then pay your proportional half. You'll be paying far less.

If he's crap with money and knows it, sit with him and work out a budget for personal spends? So what's left after the bill split minus the kids, debts, petrol. Right, where's that going? If it's on say coffee on the way to work, Standing order of X per month onto the card and that's all he uses.

I'll get slaughtered on here for Mommying him bit of you can sit down and do it all once and it makes both lives better....

@SleepingStandingUp I’ve suggested in the past he gets a monzo account so he can have the pots set up so he can see what he is spending and where. I’m going to suggest we go through it all tonight in the sense that it’s for his benefit so that he sees how much we’re both spending and he sees how much disposable income he has and flutters away.

I’m confused where some people are getting their numbers from! As far as I can see it, person A’s shared bills: £500 mortgage (£900 - the 400 that person B pays person A as I am presuming this is for the mortgage), sky £70, gas and electric £150, food £150, broadband £30 = £900 in total. Person B’s shared bills: £400 for the mortgage, council tax £150, tv license £20, home improvement loan £120, food £150 = £840. So they pay similar for shared costs/ bills. PLUS she pays him £120 a month towards his debt repayment - not sure where to allocate this as it’s not a shared cost it’s more of a gift. But I agree that person B is the one overpaying if anything because although the shared bills are similar (in fact A pays £60 more a month), B is effectively giving him £120 a month.

I think some haven’t counted his mortgage payment as a shared cost but it is effectively - B wouldn’t be able to afford to live their alone and if they were both paying rent to a separate landlord you would still count it as a shared cost. IMO it is a shared cost as it’s all money towards the house they both live in. I presume when the mortgage is paid off A won’t expect B to pay him anymore so B benefits too in the long term and it’s only the same as if she rented somewhere plus A footer the mortgage so they are both benefitting in different ways.

*a footer the mortgage should say ‘a footed the deposit’ !!

If I rented in the area we live there are rooms in a shared house for £500 with bills included. A 2 bed flat without bills seems to be around £600.

I’m a little annoyed that we can’t add me to the mortgage now, as I am contributing money to it. If we added me in two years time then I’ve paid towards for 8 years unrecognised.

@Thisgirlcando I see what you’re saying but you’re still benefitting from being in a bigger house and I think you kind of have to accept that’s part and parcel of being with your other half because of the fact he has children. I don’t mean that in a mean way at all, I’m not in the same situation as you so only you can know what you think is fair! If defo see if you can get added to the mortgage sooner though or if you can’t whether you can somehow have those payments counted - might be worth speaking to a mortgage advisor

I think the disparity if that they have to pay £400 CMS.

Probably the best way would be to both pay same amount towards house into a joint account and then all bills including petrol come out of that account. Then you have whatever is left as your spends. You should probably have more spends as you're not supporting children.

Your household bills aren't huge, the problem is things like sky and the car loan. Can you get a cheaper car? You're also paying off a lot of credit cards, when does that finish?

According to the numbers he pays out every penny apart from the +£400 you give him towards to mortgage
You should have more disposable income than you’re stating so should be able to save more

On one hand he would’ve lost the house had you not stepped in

Think you need to regroup and redistribute the outgoing so you jointly pay the costs from a joint bank account - he pays in more because he has child maintenance costs and the mortgage

You need to be left with personal spends petrol money and personal debts

Then any left over rolls over to the next month even pennies can add up to savings

Truth is he can’t afford his lifestyle and debts yet he’ll be the one with the biggest asset

@Peaplant20

*a footer the mortgage should say ‘a footed the deposit’ !!

Doh yes, I missed it. So yes, pay roughly equal but B pays 400 of the 900 mortgage so they're roughly even (she was 25 over before) but uses still covering the shared debt alone. Of its nearly done that might not be an issue but she shouldn't pay extra