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How would you deal with this absolute clanger?

71 replies

La12 · 10/04/2021 16:27

Long story short, managed to view an Instagram story of someone who I was trying to discreetly stalk and now I have to see them every day. Too late for me to do anything about it, completely inappropriate crush on this person, absolutely dying inside. How do I style it out? Completely pretend it didn’t happen? Try to avoid talking to them ever again (not really do-able, but I can try). Stupid fat thumbs!

OP posts:
Lanique · 10/04/2021 16:54

I'd feel the same as you OP. Room on the bench for another catastrophiser? Grin

I've done it before and I immediately deactivated my account for 24 hours afterwards so my name wouldn't come up. Clearly I overreacted!!

KurtWilde · 10/04/2021 16:54

Ditto what @Bluntness100 said.

potkettleblock · 10/04/2021 16:54

Either follow him now or block him if you’ve only just looked. If you block until the story expires he won’t see you in the watched list

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2021 16:55

Yeah exactly! I’d just follow their account, if you see them all the time anyway that’s totally normal

Me too. I’d just follow them and not think twice about it, their profile is public.

Lanique · 10/04/2021 16:55

Tbh I've always got the vibe on Mumsnet that stalking other peoples' social media accounts is the eighth deadly sin.

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/04/2021 16:56

How patronising to say actually on social media, the people on here don’t understand social media. Eh yeah we do, 😂😂😂
Well, I clearly didn't Grin. But then I don't have Instagram or Facebook accounts so probably wouldn't be able to nose in sufficient detail to be snared anyway.

Gigia · 10/04/2021 16:57

Loads of people who don't follow me look at my stories, no idea why Hmmbut I don't always notice who they are so I wouldn't do anything about it

thelightishere · 10/04/2021 16:57

I never look at who views my stories - got over that novelty ages ago, try not to worry OP!

SleepingStandingUp · 10/04/2021 16:58

@WonkyCactus

OK, ignore PP who clearly have no idea about Instagram - this is a DISASTER! I would be extremely Hmm if someone who I knew but who was not even following me looked at my stories. Either follow immediately or never be tempted to stalk them again. They will probably block you now anyway.
Perhaps he's not as obsessed with checking who's checked his stories as you?
KurtWilde · 10/04/2021 16:58

@Lanique I think what some people say on here and what they do irl are two completely different things Grin

I've stalked tons of accounts on social media, ex's, ex-friends, work colleagues, neighbours...

daisypond · 10/04/2021 17:01

What’s the problem? I look at random Instagram stories all the time. They’re public. Why does it matter?

SpiceRat · 10/04/2021 17:03

Fwiw I don’t think I’ve ever checked who has viewed my stories. I doubt they’ll even notice you OP.

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2021 17:06

@SpiceRat

Fwiw I don’t think I’ve ever checked who has viewed my stories. I doubt they’ll even notice you OP.
Me neither, I also have a load of randoms following. And people who are friends of friends. Makes no difference to me. I often click on suggested contacts and have a nosey.
Robin233 · 10/04/2021 17:08

How do you check?
My search say it can't be done and apps don't work ...

AngeloMysterioso · 10/04/2021 17:08

Unless they’re someone who constantly checks who has seen their stories they probably won’t even know about it.

doodleygirl · 10/04/2021 17:10

Do grown ups really act like this?

BillyIsMyBunny · 10/04/2021 17:14

I had no idea people got notifications when others view their instastories as I never post them myself - I stalk quite a few colleagues who I haven’t added as friends. A bit embarrassed to now realise they’ll have known!!!

SelkieBeag · 10/04/2021 17:16

Well, I can see why it's embarrassing but........ he will think that you're interested in him. If he's very attractive / charismatic he'll think that women checking him out is a normal occurrence. If it's a rare occurrence he might be please.

SelkieBeag · 10/04/2021 17:17

@doodleygirl

Do grown ups really act like this?
Social media is just the platform. The emotional exposure is the same.

OP feels she played her cards too visibly.

I mean it's not rocket science to understand why she's embarrassed. Have a little empathy!

SelkieBeag · 10/04/2021 17:19

@potkettleblock

Either follow him now or block him if you’ve only just looked. If you block until the story expires he won’t see you in the watched list
Good advice. Just follow him!

That shows confidence.

daisypond · 10/04/2021 17:19

I mean it's not rocket science to understand why she's embarrassed. Have a little empathy!

Well, it’s not about empathy. It’s clear many people don’t realise that the account holder can see who looked at their account.

SelkieBeag · 10/04/2021 17:21

@daisypond I meant that to the poster who said something like ''do adults behave like this?''.

I mean the point is, she's embarrassed.

Stroller15 · 10/04/2021 17:28

Agree with PP who said follow them. That's what I tend to do. If they have loads of followers, they might not even notice.

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2021 17:30

@Robin233

How do you check? My search say it can't be done and apps don't work ...
You can’t see who views grid posts, but you can see who views stories who shows little thumb nails.
Fnib · 10/04/2021 17:32

Isn't the whole point of people posting publicly that they'll get lots of views?
I will never understand the world of social media. Instagram and facebook both offer up people you may know, don't they? I assume based on contacts and/or interests. So it's no leap to have a look at them, I think?
I'm always a bit Confused when people complain about other people stalking them on SM. If they don't want people looking, they need to sort out their privacy settings.
OP I doubt he'll even notice, and if he's sad enough to check who's looked at his story he's no loss anyway!