You are cordially invited to my pity party

[CuckooCuckooClock]

Welcome!
I have no friends, my family hate me and I am a drunk!
I have decided to spend the evening with a chilled Chenin blanc, some oatcakes and jarlsburg and anyone lovely enough to join me.
Criteria for entry: you must have a miserable life too. No joy allowed.

@One2late
That is so very awful. I really feel for you. What a shit start to life, then all what followed!
Well like I said we are always here for you really. Always feel free to pm me!
I too don’t have that many real friends, well only the ones that need me, would never be there for me ever.
Shit I am seriously trying to think of something to cheer you up but red wine has blanked my mind!!
Just know you’re never alone on here ever. So many of us here to listen especially me ☺️Xx

I feel like a fraud joining now. I’m a single mom (but only one child, 50% share). I’ve got massively fat over the last year and I really want a boyfriend or at least to get laid but I feel too disgusting. My OCD is acting up something chronic and I keep imagining the tragic deaths of people I love. I should really go to bed and read my book but I’m drinking wine and feeling sad instead.

@YouMissedMyHeart
Well that’s what ocd does, makes you think horrible things about loved ones if you don’t do your compulsions, then sit and think about them anyway! Just tell them in your mind - time out!! Seriously! You know deep down it’s your mind doing it’s ocd thing, just tell your thoughts to fuck off and try and distract yourself x

Adding this to the mix.

[quote Workinghardeveryday]@One2late
That is so very awful. I really feel for you. What a shit start to life, then all what followed!
Well like I said we are always here for you really. Always feel free to pm me!
I too don’t have that many real friends, well only the ones that need me, would never be there for me ever.
Shit I am seriously trying to think of something to cheer you up but red wine has blanked my mind!!
Just know you’re never alone on here ever. So many of us here to listen especially me ☺️Xx[/quote]
Thank you thank you. I feel lighter sharing this as NOT A SINGLEA SOUL knows this. Wouldn't it be great for us all to have get together and whine.

Life is good though. I think I'm having one if those days when this shit brings me down.

@CuckooCuckooClock glad you're ok

I fell asleep and going to bed. Glad the party is still going! Are all the brownies gone?

I'll catch up on messages tomorrow. I had a lovely time and didn't feel so alone.

Wishing situations are improved for everyone X

P.s I want to lose weight...I have to for IVF...I want to go back to keto....anyone want to join me

Thank you, @Workinghardeveryday, that’s very kind of you to say! I feel like a horrible person (imagined my as yet unborn niece being stillborn) but clearly you get it, and it’s really nice!

@One2late
We all have those days don’t we! But double understand yours!!
Yes, that would be great to get together for a whine and a bottle or 2 or wine 😁.
Just remember what ever has happened in the past, tomorrow is another day and could change everything and life would be mint!! 😁xx

@YouMissedMyHeart
Seriously just tell your thoughts to do one and fuck off!! Actually when the thoughts come realise it’s not going to happen, it’s ocd thoughts and firmly say to yourself fuck off 😁. I had ocd for years, this worked a treat. The mind can come up with all sorts of weird horrible shit, you just need to recognise it straight away and tell it to fuxk off and reset xx

Hugs to everyone having a tough time.

Hope you found the box with the goodies in. Loads of alcohol and lovely stuff.
Going to try and grab a nap but if anything like last night probably not a sodding hope.
Not quite ready to share what's happening at the moment as trying to get my head round it.
However for anyone who needs support with children I was a minder for twenty years, also worked with SEN babies to about 19 years. Did physical and mental health with this age too (and adults) so if you want a bit of support once the alcohol lifts let me know.
And kids love me. 💐🍷🍾🍻🍺🍸🍹🥃🧊🍫

@One2late

P.s I want to lose weight...I have to for IVF...I want to go back to keto....anyone want to join me

Gods, feeling for everyone on this thread, sending virtual and anything else you need!

@Chocobudbrownies if you wanted to share the recipe I’ll make the batch for the next party

@One2late there’s a new low carb boot camp starting on Monday. I’m in if you want a buddy.

I’m not always great at replying though. This last year has done me in MH wise.

@OnceUponAMidnightBeery yes where is that how is that?

I’m awake. Don’t feel too bad considering I drank a whole bottle of wine to myself last night.

Catching up on the thread. Shit I wish I had a decent bunch of mates to sit in their garden and put the world to rights. Because here’s the thing. I’m actually a really nice person! Yes I do say so myself. I am. And yet people treat me awfully. Family are the worst. No idea why they seem to hate me so much. To the point where I no longer have any contact with them to preserve my own sanity.

My friendship group is small and superficial. I could never pick up the phone to one of them and know they would be there for me. I feel like a nuisance or imposition. I always message first. I suggest meeting up. I often get cancelled.

It’s pretty depressing.

I feel like I’m on the edge of a massive rant. Do you know what I suffer with the most? Guilt. This ridiculous heavy feeling that doesn’t go away.
Guilty that I wasn’t able to maintain a relationship with my family.
Guilty for trying to carve out a bit of time for myself.
Guilty that the house isn’t clean or the washing isn’t done or meals arent cooked from scratch.
Guilty of not spending enough quality time with my children.
Guilty for not earning enough money.
Guilty of eating shit food every evening.
Guilty that despite feeling like I’ve tried everything I never really feel better.
Guilty for feeling all of this when actually my life really isn’t that bad.

@Chocobudbrownies

Fuck, that's shit.

Ah yes I do infact come here often.

Here's to a miserable relationship, chronic fatigue and depression, incessant loneliness and repeated failures in the career field. Chin chin! 🥂

@EasterEggBelly

Guilt. Oh yes, I'm with you there!

I do find I'm a bit better if I take one thing & deal with it. Obviously it doesn't fix everything, but it does make me feel a smidge less shit.

I'm really sorry you don't feel you could ring any of your friends if you needed someone.
I don't have loads of friends these days (I moved & I work fir myself and I'm too tired to join crap & 'make friends'. But I am lucky enough to have two very good friends. (One nearby & one overseas. So no messy triangle either.). I have no idea how I'd have coped with this last year without knowing she was there. Generally I do a lot more for her & her family (especially pre Covid) but just knowing she's there is invaluable. I wish I could magic someone up for you!

So many people I'd like to reply to individually, but I'd completely take over the thread.

So strength, live, friendship, support, childcare... to all who want whatever.... x

Paracetamol too 🤪

@bloodywhitecat

Don't feel bad! It's perfectly normal (and acceptable) to HATE the effects of the treatment! It's a real shame it's going to clash with your wedding. Is there any chance you could change the date? I'm helping a friend change an event because her chemo falls on the day it was planned for. People have been quite understanding so far. 🤞🏼

Hi guys. Where are you all? Lol hope you're not too hung over. I have the most heaviest period. It gushes out and down my leg. Toilet looks like a murder scene. It comes out both from urinary tract and vagina so I'm in agony. Fed up. Have this lingering dark cloud over me. Woke up with the most insane anxiety. Will I ever get pregnant and carry a baby to term? Or will I spend my days alone with nothing just waiting for my husband to return from work? I suffer anxiety so the thought of him not being around d kills me. I mean I read here that it may be OCD but I regularly have paranoid scary thoughts about losing loved ones. Ugh I'm feeling shit again. Can't even have a cocodamol as I'm only allowed that on day 1 pr my period when I know I suffer. I just want to get pregnant. I just want my appointment for my laproscopy and dye test to come. I just want these ahit thoughts to go away. I just want to be happy and normal.

P
S whoever mentioned guilt. Yessss I feel guilt whenever I enjoy myself or do something fun and it gives me this sinking feeling.

[quote One2late]@OnceUponAMidnightBeery yes where is that how is that?[/quote]
Under the ‘weight loss’ topic there’s a section called ‘low-carb bootcamp’, there’s a thread for the new one.

They’re really helpful too, see you there!!

Well it's a new day and Prince Philip is still dead, therefore I have even less to entertain myself with since they have commandeered the waves to play endless soupy music and interview extremely posh military types.

My card was turned down in Tesco's as was dh. We had to leave the shopping there and come back to pay for it. Insufficient funds innit?

I don't want to break the solid misery we have thus far achieved on this thread, but I am feeling less barmy than yesterday.

I have some really lovely friends. My problem is they are too good for me yet they persist in being really nice and helpful. Bastards.

I'm having a pity party tonight I just feel so fed up!