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Original poster

Inheritance skipping a generation

66 replies

MaryIsA · 07/04/2021 07:54

Husband and I are redoing our wills due to house move.

I’ve got 3 siblings. One with an only child, one with 2 kids, one with 4. All are comfortable financially but I know one with 4 kids it’s been tight in the past and one sibling is proper rich but you wouldn’t know it...

I’m the youngest by a few years of my siblings. I’ve no children.

At the moment I I’ve left it divided 4 ways between husband and siblings..

Some of my money is from inheritance from my parents and my side of the family. Taking about £100k each.

I’m wondering whether to skip my siblings generation and divide it equally between nephews and nieces. The sibling with the 4 kids has less money than the other 2 and it just seems those kids will get even less in the end.

My money I’m passing on is mostly inheritance from my parents.

Or do I just leave it as it is.

OP posts:
TeenMinusTests · 07/04/2021 08:17

You could do, but
a) Each family unit have made their own individual choice on how many children to have. why should one sibling's side not get their 'fair share' just because they had fewer children
b) More importantly. How old are the nieces and nephews now. Are they adult of still children. Your siblings may not thank you for giving their children a large sum of money to inherit at 18/21 when it might destabilise them
c) make sure you put a caveat in there that any children you do have after writing the will but before updating it get the money instead

3Britnee · 07/04/2021 08:21

Nobody is entitled to a 'fair share' of op's money.

Leave it where you see fit op. Your money, your choice.

PegasusReturns · 07/04/2021 08:24

“Fair share” that’s repulsive Shock

OP leave it to whomever you wish. I think in your shoes I’d leave it to your nieces and nephews in equal shares but entirely up to you. There’s no real “done thing” when it comes to your situation.

TeaTimeReader · 07/04/2021 08:26

If I were you I think I would do it proportionally between siblings and nieces/nephews (eg. 10% each) but that this is void if you have children of your own as all will be passed to them.

trevorandsimon · 07/04/2021 08:28

I'd spend it! Why plan to leave it to someone else!!! Hmm

champions55 · 07/04/2021 08:31

I'd split it between your nieces and nephews.

BuffaloCauliflower · 07/04/2021 08:32

I’d enjoy your money now if you can! If not I’d probably choose nieces and nephews over siblings in your position.

WeAllHaveWings · 07/04/2021 08:32

I would be leaving it all to my husband, I cannot imagine giving away 3/4 of "our" estate while he is still alive. maybe token amounts to nieces and nephews.

BuddhaAtSea · 07/04/2021 08:32

I come from a huge family and it’s always been a skipped generation, because some of them never had children, some had more children than others etc.
This way, all the ‘youngsters’ had a chance to start a home.
There’s 3 of us, inheriting from our GP. It’s only me that has a child, and we’re all in mid to late 40s now, so no more children. So everything we own (the 3 siblings) will go to my DD’s children, not to her, we’re all helping DD, but the inheritance goes to her children after our deaths.
It’s something my family has done for generations. It’s a trust, none of the non-blood relatives benefit from it, so our spouses are never part of it. The legislation might be different abroad though, so check what you can do in the UK.

Candleabra · 07/04/2021 08:38

Why wouldn't you leave it all to your husband?
I wouldn't leave money to a sibling before a spouse.

greensnail · 07/04/2021 08:40

I would give to nieces and nephews in your situation (assuming that your DH is adequately catered for first).

wonderstuff · 07/04/2021 08:42

Do as you wish, presumably your siblings also inherited from your parents?

Helping family members that are in greatest need is reasonable.

KeyboardWorriers · 07/04/2021 08:44

My grandparents have done this (or so my parents have told me!)

Again, I think it was a combination of varying family sizes but also the knowledge that getting on the housing ladder etc is a whole different magnitude these days, particularly for my younger cousins.

my parents are totally happy because it feels like a way we can be helped out more than they could ever afford to do.

I don't like thinking about it much as I would rather my grandparents lived for ever, but I do feel grateful they have recognised what house prices have done to the youngest generation.

PegasusReturns · 07/04/2021 08:44

@trevorandsimon

I'd spend it! Why plan to leave it to someone else!!!

Why the Hmm ? Presumably the OP is hoping to have a long and healthy life and would like to ensure she has savings and security hence not wanting to spend it all. The will is planning for a worst case scenario.

THisbackwithavengeance · 07/04/2021 08:48

I would leave it to nieces and nephews as well in the absence of any DCs.

If the OP dies tomorrow, leaves everything to her DH, he could very well remarry. All the OP's assets would then go to the new wife. Even if the DH doesn't remarry, his own family (blood relatives) would then inherit the OP's assets over her own nieces and nephews.

In the OP's shoes, I would prefer my own nieces and nephews to inherit over my DH's family or random new wife.

Cattitudes · 07/04/2021 08:49

You could leave your husband a lifetime interest in the property but the inheritance to your nephews and nieces. I would skip the siblings if they are all set up. Definitely though have a clause that it is to go to any children you might have.

Woodspritely · 07/04/2021 09:19

I would say you should leave everything to your husband. If you both were to die simultaneously, then leave then leave your share to nieces and nephews and he leaves his share to his family. If he dies first and you get his share, then leave everything equally to yours and his family.

rainbowthoughts · 07/04/2021 09:25

I would be stunned if my DH told me he would be leaving me a fourth of his estate alongside his siblings Shock

Leave the nieces and nephews a token amount but the main bulk should go to your husband.

Obviously with a split between your family if he were to die before you. My great aunt skipped her siblings and did an even split between her nieces and nephews. It was quite odd because some of them are very well off and a couple still struggling through life. She could have made such a difference if she thought about it rather then doing an even split.

Original poster
MaryIsA · 07/04/2021 09:26

Husband is financially sorted. I'm the second wife. We own a house together but we have separate finances. My life insurance will cover any mortgage that is left.

He's got grown up kids. We aren't going to be having kids. My nephews and nieces are 20s/30s, only one of them has a kid.

As the will stands now - If one of my siblings dies before I do the inheritance they would have got is divided up between their remaining children.

That was the bit that got me thinking ... does it seem fair?

What would you think if your sibling skipped you in a will and went straight to your kids.?

OP posts:
rainbowthoughts · 07/04/2021 09:28

What would you think if your sibling skipped you in a will and went straight to your kids.?

I would be pleased for my kids, because I'm not a money driven twat. Only you know your siblings though.

CrazyNeighbour · 07/04/2021 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MaryIsA · 07/04/2021 09:33

@rainbowthoughts

I would be stunned if my DH told me he would be leaving me a fourth of his estate alongside his siblings Shock

Leave the nieces and nephews a token amount but the main bulk should go to your husband.

Obviously with a split between your family if he were to die before you. My great aunt skipped her siblings and did an even split between her nieces and nephews. It was quite odd because some of them are very well off and a couple still struggling through life. She could have made such a difference if she thought about it rather then doing an even split.

I'm fine with the fact he's leaving the bulk of his to his kids but I'll get to stay in our home if he dies before me.

The bit about some of some of the neices and nephews being well off and others not is the bit that gets to me. With my nephews and nieces - I know that 2 of them are going to never have to worry about money due to their parents. 1 will struggle. 2 are financially secure of their own bat but their parents while comfortable have struggled a bit.

But I don't want to cause a division and you can't ever really know what is going on. I had a grandparent who left differing amounts - on what seemed like a whim - but presumably he thought he was doing the right thing. It didn't work out terribly well and caused not a rift but a bit of uncomfortableness.

OP posts:
HerMammy · 07/04/2021 09:33

It’s a personal choice, my exDH (sadly has terminal cancer) has a will with myself receiving a sum and everything else into trust for our DD, his sibling is very comfortable and tbf his concern is for our DDs future, personally I’d give to nieces/nephews.

Mycomfyplacetochill · 07/04/2021 09:37

I'd be sure to leave provision for any future children of either yours or your siblings. Wills are very literal so if you state the 2 children one of your siblings have and they have a third child, that child would get left nothing unless you stated future children.

NailsNeedDoing · 07/04/2021 09:38

In your situation, I think I’d leave half to my DH and split the rest between my three siblings, but if splitting it into 4 is what you want to do, that seems fine too.

I think it’s best to keep things as simple as possible when it comes to wills, leave as little room for people to question your choices after your death as possible. If you split it between siblings, they are all free to help their children as they wish, and will probably be better placed to make sensible choices on how to spend the money than an 18 or 21 year old would be.

If my sibling left money directly to my dc, I’d be thankful of course, but I’d also worry that they might not spend the money as wisely as they could.

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