Inheritance skipping a generation

[MaryIsA]

Husband and I are redoing our wills due to house move.

I’ve got 3 siblings. One with an only child, one with 2 kids, one with 4. All are comfortable financially but I know one with 4 kids it’s been tight in the past and one sibling is proper rich but you wouldn’t know it...

I’m the youngest by a few years of my siblings. I’ve no children.

At the moment I I’ve left it divided 4 ways between husband and siblings..

Some of my money is from inheritance from my parents and my side of the family. Taking about £100k each.

I’m wondering whether to skip my siblings generation and divide it equally between nephews and nieces. The sibling with the 4 kids has less money than the other 2 and it just seems those kids will get even less in the end.

My money I’m passing on is mostly inheritance from my parents.

Or do I just leave it as it is.

This is my personal experience of leaving it to nephews and nieces.

A relative of mine (elderly, no kids) made her will.

She divided her estate into three, one for my mum, and then one share each for my two uncles.

Then she went non contact with one of them and wrote them out of the will but spilt that third between her great nieces and nephews.

Seems fair? On the great nieces and nephews yes but for my mum no.

My mum cared for and tended to my great aunty for a decade despite living an hour away.

My mum got her share and my brother and I got a portion of the third. But my uncles who has six kids also got their fair share but only saw her once a year if that.

My uncles family ended up with substantially more than my mum did all because he decided to keep popping out kids.

I know it's my great aunts right to do what she wanted but she admitted at the end she didn't think it through properly by which time it was too late and she died shortly after.

Moral of the story, 1. Do what you want, but 2. Make it fair and consider family fall out afterward.

1. Spend it on yourself lol

Given your siblings are older than you so statistically likely to die before you, I think it's reasonable to leave to the kids. Everyone has completed their families so there's going to be no baby niece or nephew left out.
Even if some of the kids inherit millions, the inheritance off you as Aunty is a gift so I think should be even

Hmm I think it would depend on the family dynamics and personalities involved, for me. But my judgement is coloured by a family member who had more kids then anyone else and then used this to plead poverty for years, and a reason to constantly ‘borrow’ (but never pay back) money from grandparents. If they’d been genuinely struggling then fair enough, but the constant bad choices (eg giving huge donations to church) alongside extravagant living, left a bad taste. This relative and her children ended up inheriting more than the rest of the family. Was that fair or justified?

I have five siblings, three with children.

I wouldn't expect any of those three to leave anything to anyone else. My brother I would expect to leave everything to his wife, but if she died first... dunno, tbh. Local dogs home possibly.

My oldest sister I've always vaguely imagined will leave anything to her nieces and nephews.

The only thing I would say is: my great-aunt left her (for our family, relatively sizeable) estate split between her brother's six children, except for the one whose second wife she didn't like, instead leaving that sixth split between his children. Don't do that.

Given the ages of everyone involved it seems very reasonable to skip a generation and go straight to nephews and nieces.

Whether to allocate in chunks according to the family line, ie 1/3 to each “branch”, or to allocate per person is a matter of personal choice, and neither way is definitively right or wrong. I normally tend towards the “branch” approach, but in this case, where the family with four children have less money than the other two siblings, I think that taking the per person approach and giving 1/7th of three quarters to each DN would be a good way to get the money to where it will be most useful without looking like you’re doing the Lady Bountiful act, picking and choosing the poor deserving beneficiaries.

I don't know if this helps, but my grandfather had 3 daughters and each of them had 2 children.

He left 1/6 to each of his daughters, and 1/12 to each of his grandchildren. I don't know but presume that if any daughters had pre-deceased him, their share would have gone additionally to their children. It seemed to me a very fair way of doing it.

I would personally leave it to your siblings, unless their children are already grown. No child needs to come into money like that at 18 when they don't have the maturity to manage it properly. Unless you can make sure it goes into a trust that they can't touch until they're 30 or something. The best thing for them is to be able to make their own way in life. Their parents can pass that money down to them when the time comes, but can at least keep it safe and well invested until then.

I have the same issue with my family. I am NC with them and don't expect to get any inheritance. But I do expect them to will any money to my children and it fills me with such anxiety. They would do it out of spite as they know I don't want that and have expressly told them not to leave any money to my children (they can leave it to me and I will invest it on their behalf and can help them buy a house, etc. when they are ready). I don't want them to suddenly come into a ridiculous amount of money when they are at such a critical time in their lives.

If you leave it as it is you save all that argy bargy about how many children each have. It’s then up to the parents to decide how much to give their children.

If I popped my clogs tomorrow and had written a new will the neices and nephews would get about £40K each. Which I suppose is not life changing but in your early 20s and 30s would be very nice indeed. I'd hope they'd all use if for whatever made their life happier.

My sister and I both inherited £8K from an eccentric aunt (who didn't leave anything to my brothers). She spent hers on a new boiler and the downpayment on a car...I went round the world for a year. Both happy with our choices.

@MaryIsA

If I popped my clogs tomorrow and had written a new will the neices and nephews would get about £40K each. Which I suppose is not life changing but in your early 20s and 30s would be very nice indeed. I'd hope they'd all use if for whatever made their life happier.

My sister and I both inherited £8K from an eccentric aunt (who didn't leave anything to my brothers). She spent hers on a new boiler and the downpayment on a car...I went round the world for a year. Both happy with our choices.

Ummm 40k is life changing to some

Set up mirror wills so that if one of you dies, the spouse gets everything. In the event that both of you die or don't make a new will, leave it divided equally to siblings and their children.

I think your DH should get your money. If not leave it to who you like. Charity even.

Jaxhog the OP explained in some detail the very good reasons why she doesn’t want to leave her entire estate to her spouse.

I'd be leaving a majority to my husband unless he has substantial assets of his own. With the rest I'd share it equally between the nieces and nephews.

I'd leave it to your DNs simply because it's likely by the time you die your siblings may have already gone or be very elderly. For some of them it's more likely to be a significant amount.

If one/some dote on you in your older years and take good care of you and the rest don't bother I'd change it again to favour them

It's not really skipping a generation, you DNs are the next generation. I think that's much better than having it percolate around your generation longer. There's no way any of your siblings will be doing anything other than passing to the next generation, so don't worry about doing the same

I'm not anticipating any doting from any of them!

My husband is fine financially whether I'm here or not... which lessens my chances of being pushed under a bus I suppose.

Fair point - £40K would be life changing to many people. I think I meant it's not a million pound lottery win.

I'm guessing that your siblings are probably at the stage of life where they have either paid off their mortgages or are nearly there so to me it seems sensible to divide this inheritance up between the nieces and nephews. I think I would give them all equal amounts if I had a similar relationship with them all.

£40k is more than half of what my three bedroom house cost in 2019 definitely life changing here!

In your situation, I’d leave half to your DH and split the rest between nieces and nephews.

I know that 2 of them are going to never have to worry about money due to their parents. 1 will struggle. 2 are financially secure of their own bat but their parents while comfortable have struggled a bit.

You never know that someone isn't going to struggle. Surely Covid has taught us that? Many well to do families have lost everything and are experiencing poverty for the first time. What if one of your rich neices/nephews becomes ill and can no longer work? Or what if their spouse dies? Or what if they end up having more children? Similarly your siblings could lose everything and then your nieces/nephews would not be able to rely on them.

I would split the money equally between them.

@MaryIsA

Husband is financially sorted. I'm the second wife. We own a house together but we have separate finances. My life insurance will cover any mortgage that is left.

He's got grown up kids. We aren't going to be having kids. My nephews and nieces are 20s/30s, only one of them has a kid.

As the will stands now - If one of my siblings dies before I do the inheritance they would have got is divided up between their remaining children.

That was the bit that got me thinking ... does it seem fair?

What would you think if your sibling skipped you in a will and went straight to your kids.?

I'm in a similar position to you and my will leaves everything (bar a few minor belongings) to my (adult) nieces and nephews. My siblings are very happy with this.

I'd leave it to your husband unless he has plenty himself. He could need it for care. I guess the only risk is he could remarry and it all end up with a second wife. i've seen this happen a few times !

Babyroobs

Op IS the second wife! He is sorted, she says, and has grown kids that aren’t hers, so why should she leave everything to him, for it to pass to his kids, when some of her money came from her parents?

Op - leave it to the nieces and nephews. A cousin of mine died single and without any direct beneficiaries - he could have left it to cousins, but decided to go with next generation. Some cousins didn’t have kids so missed out, some had one only, some two, but he provided a massive hand up to the next generation, who ranged in age from 15 to late 40s at the time of his death. He enabled some to get on housing market for first time, and for the younger ones, gave them a huge advantage for when they do want to buy property.

"fair share" because they chose to have fewer children is indeed a horrible view IMO.

Each of those children are individuals (obviously) - do you give one big present to an only child at Christmas and the the family of 3 get the same amount spread between them? I guess some will answer yes, but wouldn't be in my friend circle for sure. mean mindedness.

I would leave it to siblings, but with a request that if they don't need the money, they split it equally between their DC.

No-one knows what anyone else's financial situation is like - nor how it will change in the intervening years.

My DP left their estate between their GC, but had discussed it fully with DB and I, and we were in agreement. Huge benefit to my DC, as it gave them a good deposit for their own homes.