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Original poster

Is this silly for a wedding?

34 replies

User35r7r8 · 06/04/2021 16:40

We have a UK holiday booked for early July and I'm thinking we could possibly get married in the morning at the local registry office and then go on holiday in the afternoon, no reception or anything.
It would just be us, our kids, parents, siblings and a few aunts and uncles, 15 people in total.
It would basically mean everyone turns up see us get married a few pics in the nice grounds of the registry office (taken by family) then they all get on with their day and we go home, get changed and go on holiday, do you think people would think it was pointless, especially as it may mean a day's annual leave for some of the guests?

I would have done it the day before we went and possibly have invited everyone back to ours for an afternoon tea type thing but this is the only day available in the week between schools finishing and us going on holiday and also restrictions may not allow for that type of thing by then. Honestly the idea of a party that is basically about us is really not our thing and if i didn't think both sets of parents would be upset I would actually just get married in the registry office local to our holiday with 2 random witnesses but that would just cause too much upset.

OP posts:
jessstan2 · 06/04/2021 16:42

Why not get married at the registrar the week before you go on holiday and have lunch at a restaurant afterwards?

fluffygreenmonsterhoody · 06/04/2021 16:42

That sounds fantastic. I’d definitely be happy to take a day’s leave for that!

IpreferInchyraBlue · 06/04/2021 16:43

How about paying for them all to have an afternoon tea somewhere while you hop off on holiday? That way they still get a treat, and you get your holiday.

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Weddings
Atalune · 06/04/2021 16:45

I think it’s bad from not to host some sort of gathering afterwards.

I wouldn’t take a days leave for it.

justwaydamin · 06/04/2021 16:47

Yea I would think it was a little off to not even have a celebratory drink and packet of crisps after... Confused

Hotcuppatea · 06/04/2021 16:47

You need to feed and water your guests if you're going to ask them to take the time to witness your marriage. Have a nice lunch somewhere before you go on holiday.

Notaroadrunner · 06/04/2021 16:48

If it's just to the registry office and you then plan to leave without even having lunch with them, I think you should just leave it that yourself your dp and kids go. Otherwise book it for as early as possible on the day and book brunch/lunch afterwards. Then you can head off in the afternoon.

Bluntness100 · 06/04/2021 16:49

You want them to turn up, watch, take your photo and fuck off again? I like your style 😂

No I mean cmon, it’s only fifteen peoole. Do it where you can at least give them a glass of fizz and a sausage roll.

SkepticalCat · 06/04/2021 16:49

I think if everyone lives very local (certainly no more than 45 minutes journey) to the register office, then fine. But if people need to travel a fair distance, then as others have said, its pretty poor form not to host anything else for your guests.

PinkDaffodil2 · 06/04/2021 16:49

Is it really really local to everyone? It feels a bit cheeky not to even offer light refreshments. If you don’t want to make a big ‘do’ of it you could do something outdoors - maybe just some cupcakes and a few bottles of fizz with plastic glasses to have after the pictures are done? I’m sure people would like to mingle a little after.

Insomnia5 · 06/04/2021 16:59

Definitely not op. Weddings are boring af, people only go for the free food and piss up after. If I got invited to a wedding now, I’d have to spend an absolute fortune getting myself presentable, hair/make up/outfit etc. I’d lose out on a days pay. May have to find babysitters, plus pay for a card and wedding present. Plus transport. You can’t ask people to do all that then send them home just after the ceremony!

Hopeful16 · 06/04/2021 17:00

Could you do fizz and "substantial" nibbles for during the photos? I'd be fine coming to this for a close friend or family but think come the day you will feel a tad tight and short changed to just walk away.

skeggycaggy · 06/04/2021 17:01

You have to live in the area of the registry office for a few weeks in advance though, is this local?

skeggycaggy · 06/04/2021 17:03

Oh sorry just realised, the holiday is after.

TheJackieWeaver · 06/04/2021 17:03

I think a small ceremony then straight on holiday sounds lovely, but could you add in lunch before you all leave?

Original poster
User35r7r8 · 06/04/2021 17:06

I know, you are all right of course, I'm leaning more towards my original plan of inviting everyone back to ours for an afternoon tea type thing in the garden and hope the weather and restrictions allow for it.

OP posts:
firstimemamma · 06/04/2021 17:07

We are doing the same thing as u (same numbers) but a restaurant meal instead of the holiday bit. Early June. We don't want a big celebration either but at the same time wanted to feed our guests. Good luck whatever u decide.

LondonStone · 06/04/2021 17:07

I’d double check the days your local authority performs weddings OP. We had a registry office wedding in December and my current town only do weddings on Thursday and Friday afternoons. I enquired in my London borough before we moved and they only did all day Monday. So it might not be possible the very morning of your holiday.

firstimemamma · 06/04/2021 17:09

@skeggycaggy I don't know where you got that from but you don't need to live in the area of the registry office for a few weeks at all. Our registry office of choice is nearly 200 miles away from where we live and we are good to go! Only thing we had to do is give notice locally but that took 20 mins then you're free to marry where u like.

RevolutionRadio · 06/04/2021 17:15

It would be unusual not to have any kind of get together after the ceremony.

You could have a meal/afternoon tea then go on holiday, your guests can carry on without you.

I would only go to what you're suggesting if it was close by and I could just use Flexi rather than have a full days leave.

skeggycaggy · 06/04/2021 17:16

[quote firstimemamma]@skeggycaggy I don't know where you got that from but you don't need to live in the area of the registry office for a few weeks at all. Our registry office of choice is nearly 200 miles away from where we live and we are good to go! Only thing we had to do is give notice locally but that took 20 mins then you're free to marry where u like. [/quote]
You’re right, I was mis-remembering. As you say you can give notice locally (and you have to have lived in that area for at least 7 days beforehand) before marrying elsewhere.

SnuggyBuggy · 06/04/2021 17:17

The whole point of a wedding reception is as a thank you to the people who came and witnessed the ceremony. I wouldn't invite people unless you are wiling to host them.

MintLampShade · 06/04/2021 17:18

I don't think it is silly at all. It is your day OP and you shall get married the way you like! If this is what you want, go for it. I don't understand the comments saying you need to feed the guests etc. Surely if someone wants to see OP getting married and share in their happiness on their big day, they'd be delighted to do so without the promise of a free meal...Confused Tk because you want to be there!

LondonStone · 06/04/2021 17:18

@firstimemamma I think they might be confusing it with the fact you have to have lived in the local authority you give notice in for 7 days.

LondonStone · 06/04/2021 17:18

Oops, cross-posted! Sorry! GrinGrin

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