Aggressive timer! What's your annoying household appliance?

[SlowDay]

(Lighthearted)

My oven timer is so aggressive! I know that awful shrill sound is the point - to jolt me out of whatever I'm doing incase I forget but who does it think it is summoning me like that?!

Same with the microwave timer sound. Just shut up, I've heard you - I'm coming!

Do you have any annoying household appliance?

My old alarm clock had a really horrible harsh, almost nasal beep. It was like the Liam Gallagher of appliances. My new one has a crisp, pleasant tone which is loud enough to wake me but doesn't make me fall out of bed in shock, so that's nice.

My induction hob is ridiculously oversensitive when I'm trying to wipe it down, but when I actually want it to switch on, it suddenly becomes impervious to my touch. I think it's being passive aggressive, like "well, last time I thought you wanted me it turned out you were just messing me about, so I assumed you were being your usual clumsy self again and I didn't need to respond".

We had a new kitchen fitted in February. The microwave and oven are both beepy and aggressive, the dishwasher is smaller than the last one so the plates don't fit properly and the fridge door doesn't open wide enough to get the salad drawer out. Only the coffee machine keeping me sane.

Our fridge beeps to let you know that the door is open, which is helpful if you forget to close it but annoying when unpacking shopping bags. It also doesn't always bother to beep if it's left open, so it's pointless anyway! If I'm unpacking a bag I feel like I have to race it, to get everything away before it gives me a warning... Sometimes I press the button that makes it thinks the door is closed, to reset the timer so I can win.

The freezer, however, does not beep. It would be handy if it did and so that's annoying as well.

I love this thread!
My house security monitoring system! The volume is set so high - it bellows randomly at me "kitchen window open" / "back door open" etc. At night when I set it, I have to stuff a jacket in front of the loudspeaker on it, as it beeps 15 times (I've counted) to let me know the alarm is set, otherwise it would wake my kids.
My fridge lets out a huge cracking sound every day, randomly.
My induction hob - if my fingers are any way wet, the buttons won't work. I'll have a pan of pasta boiling over, and can't turn it down till I dry the whole hob. Then it senses the wetness and turns itself off.
My Siri HomePod. When I ask it to stop playing music, it ignores me. So I have to tell it to stop, more loudly. My babies think I'm telling them to stop doing something, when they're just quietly playing with a book.
Luckily from reading this, my washing machine, dryer and dishwasher don't have annoying beeps.

Thank you for the reminder.

I had managed to remove the beep from pretty much everything, but now we've just moved, and there's pretty much all new stuff... and the noise is driving me crazy.

I will go NOW, and kill them all.

My washing machine and tumble dryer. WM has beeps when it's set that are exactly the same pitch and tone as the 'duh duh duuuuuuuuuh' of the intro to House of Pain's Jump Around; TD when it's on makes a very distinctive 'dum dumdum, dum dumdum' akin to the start of My Girl - so invariably I am earwormed by one or other of these almost constantly. It's actually beyond a joke some days and I will have them ringing in my head all day.

My microwave beeps until you open the door. I wish it would beep three times then shut the fuck up because, you know I heard you the first time you piece of shit, am just busy doing other things so can't get to the microwave right now and you're BEEPING NON STOP IS DRIVING ME INSANEEEEEE

Our tumble dryer 😡 I hate the noise of them anyway and any white noise, but at the end it does a little tune, I say little, it lasts about 30 seconds. Just when you think it's done, it carries on! Now I know you can turn it off but dp turns it back on. I can only imagine it's just to wind me up!

I've thought of another! We have a shark hoover, this isn't the noise of it, it's actually quite quiet, but when you need to move something and need to let go of it it falls over, you have to fold it down every time you need to let go of it. Drives me mad! But I'd still have it over a corded!

My fridge door alarm drives me insane, it gives you about ten seconds grace to have a look inside before it starts beeping at you to close the door. Putting shopping away requires you to keep pressing the door button to shut it up every few seconds. Stupid stupid design!
My microwave is an impatient little shit too, it beeps to tell you it's finished, then beeps every few seconds if you don't instantly drop everything to open it.

Ahhh- that's better!

@lborgia

Ahhh- that's better!

Killed them all, have you? That's what they get!

@thenewaveragebear1983
Omg, that reminds me - in a previous house, the washing machine cycle sounded exactly like the song "Jolene" by Dolly Parton. I used to have an ear worm all day of the song.

C as re are a pain. Ours like most now ping at you if you dare fart

If you dare to walk away from the cat with the keys in your pocket (ie when OH has just nipped back in the house) it goes into meltdown. Especially if the door is left open, as well

@Cowbells

Washing machine. It beeps 'I'm finished!' which is fine. But if I don't immediately open its door and switch it off, if carries on beeping for about half an hour. So annoying if you are watching TV or busy doing something else. Reminds me of when DC were young and shouted, 'Mum. Mum. MUM. MUM!' non stop.

I was going to post this, but saw you’d written it word for word. This. Oh sooo annoying!!!

My washing machine drove me bananas for the first 6 months, then it occurred to me that if I could start it off remotely I could probably turn off the bongs.
I was ridiculously thrilled when I worked it out

@SlowDay - turns out, one of the many advantages of new models is that they've realised we need to be able to quieten or cancel the beeps.. I'm still working on it, but I've found all the Bosch stuff gives me options to make the noises shorter, but not QUIETER, which is what I really want. I've found a post from an electrician on how to break the right wires if I get desperate enough

Not really a household appliance, a voice activated car stereo system. It was fitted in an ex demo car we bought about 15 years ago when Alexa was just a twinkle in Jeff Bezos' eye. The technology was not fit for purpose. Imagine Siri and Alexa's cantankerous, deaf great grandmother who refuses to wear her hearing aid.

The conversation would go like this:

• Play Classical Chillout
• You want to listen to Death Metal Hits. Is that right?
• No. Play Classical Chillout.
• I can't understand you.
• Play Classical Chillout.
• The time is 2.42pm
• PLAY CLASSICAL CHILLOUT!
• I heard Bob the Builder. Is that right?
• NO!!!!!
• Playing Bob the Builder.
• STOP PLAYING!
• Changing volume to 10.

Then the Sat Nav would pipe up:

• Turn off at Junction 15

She would respond:

• Tuning to Bigots and Xenophobes Talk Radio.

As much as I hated "her", after my equally cantankerous ExDH swore and shouted enough at her, we discovered that eventually she would let out a sigh followed by a cough and switch off - Phwoo cough. When we couldn't get her to play music, we passed the time by trying to get her to tell us to F off.

My bluetooth speaker makes this WAH WAH WAH noise when it's running out of charge; makes me want to flee to higher ground to escape the imminent tsunami

@ipswichwitch

My car. I know it’s not an appliance, but I’ll be driving along quite happily, then it lets off an almighty “bing”, the sort of warning noise that makes you thing somethings dropped off your engine, so you have a bit panic about what’s gone wrong, when it turns out it’s just deciding to warn me that it’s 4d frees outside. Why the hell does it need to beep so bloody loud? I know it’s cold outside, I didn’t teleport to my car, I had to actually walk outside to get in it, whic was sufficient time in which to ascertain for myself that it’s cold outside.

Kona by any chance? I too worried what had dropped off when I bought mine!

Mine is the soup maker. Beeps loud enough to wake next door until you unplug it. Can't even switch the bloody thing off!

The Shark cordless heap of shite vacuum that blocks if you pass it within a few inches of a microscopic piece of dust. Takes ages to unblock, hate it.

I miss my Samsung washing machine and it’s jaunty tune though, new one just gives a single tiny beep which I never hear, so I tend to forget the washing and it sits there for hours.

Tuning to Bigots and Xenophobes Talk Radio

🤣🤣🤣 What a troll, that stereo system! That's what it wanted to do all along.

I used to hate my Henry hoover too, smiling little twat ruined my woodwork by bashing into it. Was like a little drunk trailing around after me, falling over, getting stuck in doorways.
My dyson isn’t much better mind but at least it hasn’t got a stupid face

All the kitchen appliances that can beep. So annoying!

The washing machine beeps every few seconds for a good five minutes after it’s done washing. Only it won’t let me get my clothes out until it’s finished beeping. So it beeps to demand attention but won’t actually do anything. Infuriating!

The microwave. Beeps endlessly to demand attention. Yes I know you’re finished I’ll come in when I’m good and ready.

The induction hob. Beeps when I pick a pan up when I’m stirring. Beeps if I use it as a surface for something I’ve just got out of the oven. Has been known to turn itself off when cooking. Presumably meant as some form of safety feature but meant my chicken had finished baking but my rice was still raw.

These posts are gold! Stupid smart machines🤣

My phone's currently sulking (buttons randomly stop working while I'm typing) ever since I slagged it off on here. Need some damage control!