Driving phobia

[lottieleo]

I've failed four tests and now with lessons and tests being postponed for so long, I've built up a massive mental fear around the thoughts of driving and think I'll never be able to. I feel panicked just at the thought.

Anybody got over a driving fear. I am in my late 20s with children and it's an absolute pain not driving for work and child care purposes 🤦‍♀️

I passed 8th attempt whilst pregnant and 33 years old. Am a pretty bloody good driver if I say so myself op!? Just had Exam Nerves!!
Try some Calms and breathing exercises before your lessons.

My son failed four or five times and then passed since which he has been driving as though he's been doing it all his life.

Better to have the fears now, you will pass your test eventually and put it behind you. I passed, drove for some years then lost my nerve! I haven't driven for years and am scared at the thought of it.

At least you are doing it the right way around. You'll get there.

Good luck.

I wrote off a car while on a lesson when I was 18 . Gave up for years, finally found the confidence again and passed within a few months. I told myself, I'm going to do this!! I cried after some lessons as I was annoyed at myself for messing up on several lessons, but it made me more determined. Don't make the mistake I did by waiting so long to get back behind the wheel. Week before you're test take extra lessons, even get a family member to hire a dual controlled car with you for some extra experience. You can do this good luck!

Kalms worked for me with driving nerves

I also learned in my late 20s and was fairly terrified. Failed first time, passed on second. It then takes years before it gets really comfortable and fun, even. It takes practice - you'll be fine x

Thanks all I definitely just need to commit

Have you tried just learning in an automatic? I had awful driving phobia even after passing my test on beta blockers, and it was only a few years later when we bought an automatic that I actually started driving. I'm still not keen on motorways or long drives, but I can get around town.

Ah yes Automatic is my plan this time around.
I'm hoping it gives me that little bit of confidence with less to think about.

@Hellohello53452

Kalms worked for me with driving nerves

I'm impressed with that, Kalms have never made any difference to me whatsoever.

Me OP, I failed 7 times through nerves but passed when I got a really thoughtful examiner that put me at ease (some of them make it so much worse than it needs to be) I’ve been driving for 10 years now and have never had an accident and am very competent.

I started when I was 18 and stopped to go to uni, and over that time I built up a huge fear in my head. I eventually passed when I was 24 and it's the best thing I've ever done :).

I passed 7th time and had a crash on my 3rd lesson.

My only thought was to pass as I wanted the freedom.
I never thought I would but now I drive a large van and several other vehicles and couldn’t imagine what my life would be if I didn’t drive.

Keep going you will get there

@Bythemillpond

I passed 7th time and had a crash on my 3rd lesson.

My only thought was to pass as I wanted the freedom.
I never thought I would but now I drive a large van and several other vehicles and couldn’t imagine what my life would be if I didn’t drive.

Keep going you will get there

Well done for getting back on the horse after having a crash in a lesson, that’s impressive.

I rolled a car first time I took the wheel! My DB crashed into a wall!
We are surprisingly all still alive and well and have not had any other accidents since "touch wood'
@lottieleo Do you get to go out and practice often, between lessons? I found that helped a lot.

@DoubleTweenQueen no unfortunately not
Payed lessons only

The time I took Kalms, I passed my test. Felt so chill.

I get the nerves though. I've only got back into driving this last year during lockdowns to go to the supermarket with the roads being quiet. Feel much better about driving as a result.

@lottieleo That's a shame! It would really help you practice and prepare for your test.

I’ve been practice driving with DH for a few weeks and absolutely hate it I have a genuine fear of it and I genuinely can’t see myself ever passing a test or driving for real.

Unfortunately we are moving to Portugal and can import our car for a small fee so we are taking it with us (car prices are INSANE in Portugal, we can’t buy one there) so there’s point learning automatic because the car will be manual.

Really don’t know what I’m going to do. It makes me feel like such a failure.

@Londonstone Please don’t give up! I found it really really difficult, but got there eventually, and I love it now. You can do it!

It’s a really hard thing to do when you’re learning, with all the separate things you have to remember to do, but gradually it becomes more natural. The worst thing for me was the pressure of being on the road with everyone else, but I taught myself that everyone else will have to be patient and I will focus on what I need to do. Most people are very understanding of learner drivers, after all, we’ve all been through it.

You are absolutely not a failure, you just want to do it properly, which is one step to being a really good driver. Please don’t give up!

@DoubleTweenQueen you hit the nail on the head completely. On Thursday afternoon we went for a drive and it was going okay until we accidentally ended up at the towns notorious (and hated by everyone) temporary traffic lights. I was front of the queue and we all waited ages ages for the lights to change and as soon as they did of course... I stalled. Panicked so I stalled again. Then cars starting beeping. Just couldn’t get the car going. I was so embarrassed.

I pulled up afterwards to cry and swap with DH because I felt like an idiot. Only myself and two other cars got through the lights so I know everyone was sat waiting in traffic for absolutely ages because of me. Ugh.

It’s the same old story, I’m usually confident and I’ve achieved lots of things in life but I just cannot drive. I hate it even when I’m doing okay and then if one thing goes wrong I’m done.

@LondonStone I have certainly done that myself. It is so much harder when you’re under pressure. It doesn’t hurt anyone to have to wait a few extra seconds - remember that! x

Honestly dont give up! I learnt when I was 22 .However for various reasons gave up after about a year .Fast forward 10 years and passed 2nd time with my Instructor .Try and find someone you bond with if possible .My first Instructor was fine ,nothing improper .However just didnt feel relaxed with him somehow .My 2nd Instructor was about the same age as me and female, (Of Course!) and really just like going out with a friend!Learned on an Auto as well .Game Changer! No horrid gears to worry about .Give it another go you wont regret it!

London Stone .Can you practice with a Chum maybe ? I think learning with close family members is not always a good idea!Your experience of getting out and swapping with DH brought back memories! There is a roundabout near us which is positioned over a dual carriageway .So looking down on the road if you see what I mean .I panicked and did the same as you .Profusely apologising to the people behind who luckily smiled and shrugged .No worries can go over there fine now!

I’m exactly the same OP - I’m 26 and need to learn. I’ve been telling myself over the last week that I’m going to do it no matter how long it takes me but have built up a mental block over the lockdown like you. If possible can you go out with a family member/friend? Going out with my boyfriend has helped me - someone talking through the gears. We can do this!!

I went to the gp and got beta blockers. Passed my test on the 6th attempt at the age of 36!