If you habitually put a "x" at the end of your messages, what do you think when other people don't?

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

So, I've been pondering this for a while and though I'd put it out there...

I don't normally put a kisses ("x") at the end of general messages. I will if I am messaging DP or DS, or sometimes family/friends if the content is right (ie. not for a general "what time do you want to meet on Friday?" type message, but possibly for a "hope the first day of your new job goes well!" type message)

Some people seem to put an "x" at the end of every single message they send. I have no issue with this - each to their own and all that. However, now I'm starting to worry that if I'm messaging a kisser and I am not kissing, do they think I'm a rude cow? For example, if I'm messaging someone I don't know well, like a mum of DS's friend, or a Facebook seller and they end every message with x, I feel like I should do it too or I'll appear rude or abrupt, so I quite often do change my messaging style, which feels a bit odd.

Am I overthinking? If you are a message kisser, what do you think of us non-kissers? Do you even notice?

I don't notice or care.

I don't use kisses, and I never send rude or mean content by text, so I think if people think it's rude that I didn't include a kiss then that's really something for them to sort out.

I don't use kisses for any messages, not even with DP, just never have.

However, I do try to make a special effort when messaging DM or DSis, as DSis especially sees the lack of at least two kisses as if I'd written 'I hate you and I hope you die' and I just CBA with the drama.

However, I agree with the PP who says that if other people are interpreting this as rudeness, that's their issue. There's so much unwritten etiquette and inconsistencies in electronic communications that if people are taken the inclusion or lack of certain emojies, words or kisses etc, than they're being a bit dim really to not realise that not everyone does it the same way as they do.

See also use of the sign off 'regards' where it seems to have morphed into needing to say 'bestest most kindest regards ever' for some recipients to not interpret this as code for some sort of insult.

I definutely don't think it's rude, but it feels cold and formal if there are no kisses or emojis.

I don't think anything of it, some people put x others don't.

Really formal and blunt

I never do this with messages to anyone, so it always makes me smile when people do it on mumsnet or other public forums, it looks so weird!

I'm not a natural 'x' er but I started to do it as I worried I looked rude.
I do notice if others don't 'x' me and tbh it makes me feel like a fool for 'x'ing them in my message in the first place.

@CookPassBabtridge

I definutely don't think it's rude, but it feels cold and formal if there are no kisses or emojis.

Really? That’s so interesting. It wouldn’t cross my mind. Obviously I have different communication styles with different friends and acquaintances, but I would say at least half of my messages wouldn’t have an emoji, and I never sign with kisses unless the words are “lots of love” or something.

I agree with what all the PPs have said. I don't do it, except under certain circumstances; if someone's had bad news, or is feeling low etc. I also end sentences with a full stop, which is apparently seen as rude. As BarbaraofSeville says, if a recipient sees this as being offensive, that's their problem.

On a tangent, I've always loved your username, Barbara!

Don't do X with DH is messages or DMum.

I've obviously cross-posted with some of the people who thinks it's rude 🤷🏻‍♀️

*in

I started adding xx to my messages as I gathered that it was rude not to (still not sure why). I accidentally added xx in a message to my ex-H the other day which really annoyed me.

DMum finishes all her messages to me with a X, but I don't. It's wasting time in my opinion.

I don't tend to do kisses, only if someone is doing me a favour/said something nice, or I'm doing that to someone else. I have a friend who does kisses at the end of most conversations, so I mirror her, but she's the only one who gets regular kisses. Don't know anyone who kisses after each individual message.

I booked a table at a cafe yesterday and they did 'x' after each message, and once just a lone 'x' as way of acknowledgement.... I know they're not the most formal of establishments but it was so weird and unprofessional.

I have thought the same for a while. Especially Facebook sellers, I just can't xx back. I don't know you! But then what if you don't want to buy from me cause you think I'm a cow. Ahhhh! I overthink this all the time!

I don't mind at all if people don't. It's a bit ridiculous really to virtual kiss people, but I do it sometimes to round out the message xx

@grumpyhetty

I started adding xx to my messages as I gathered that it was rude not to (still not sure why). I accidentally added xx in a message to my ex-H the other day which really annoyed me.

That's another reason why I don't want to get into the xx habit. I have to text my line manager so he knows I'm still alive when out in the field and don't want to accidentally xx him as it would be the modern day equivalent of accidentally calling him dad or telling him I loved him as a phone goodbye.

I only do it to my mum and one of my sisters and that's because they do it to me.

I don't really notice and I don't particularly care.
I sometimes use x and sometimes don't.

I do x but if I message somebody and they reply and don't put an x on I try and make sure I don't put an x on in future messages. I don't find it rude or anything, I just presume it's not for them.

I sometimes clock it, but don’t think people are being rude just that it’s their style, so I then might not do it anymore in my messages to them

My hairdresser has signed all her messages to me xxx from the very first one she sent when I was booking my first appointment. I thought it was unprofessional. Now I’ve been going to her for 5 years it might be ok to use one x even though I only see her 2 - 4 times a year and we don’t speak in between. But it’s always been xxx.

But even though I don’t think she should use kisses I always end uo adding them when replying to her messages.

I wish everyone would just stop doing it. My friends and female relatives all do it, and I hate it. It’s such a passive aggressive way of forcing meaningless social niceties onto people. Total waste of time. I’ve played along in the past so I don’t come across aa cold, but I really resent it and more and more I don’t do it unless there is a specific reason- if someone is upset or I’m saying thank you for something.
I read somewhere it’s a very British thing, and I did notice on a US tv programme that puts lots of texts between women onscreen, there’s never an x in sight.