What has Mumsnet done for/taught you?

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For me, it's made me change some routines

I wash my tea towels way more often. Not up to every day, but we do wash them every 3 days or so. (We have dishwasher,so they aren't used that much really)

I also change my kitchen cleaning cloth after every ,wipe down session. Where as before MN, I might have used one for the whole day.

I have learned loads about SEN and hidden disabilities.

I always get my product reviews from here now.

Cloth sanitary towels!

Can spot a troll a mile off now!

Taught me how to play Mornington Crescent

How the fuck do people meet irl? I think I'm probably autistic, but not brave enough to be tested. I can't even make friends online, it makes me sad.

It has broadened my insight into other people’s lives and experiences.

It has reintroduced me to feminism.

It lets me hear other people’s political views rather than just my own friendship group.

It has given me greater insight into racism in this country which I had no real concept of the daily reality it is for people.

It has made me laugh, raise an eyebrow and given me lots of fantastic advice although I try to avoid style and beauty as the advice was getting too costly!!!

Many moons ago (and a few name changes), great support from the SIFTW thread (sleep is for the weak), when dc1 was a frequent night waker. I still ended up with another two sleepless wonders after him mind you 🤣😭

Mn taught me that my superficially good parents are still toxic awful people and that I'm not alone (stately homes)

How to research, argue, debate and reference- I started mn as a very very very different type of feminist than I am now, and that's through learning all of the above through various threads (and not just the feminism threads- the knowledge, and willingness to share that knowledge and linking to resources, the expectation here to provide evidence when "facts" are presented - everywhere, the politics boards, the covid 19 boards, even style and beauty boards , is amazing and not seen elsewhere)

Mn has taught me a lot but most recently and probably most importantly, not to listen to most GPs about menopause and that it's really not recessary to feel like shit because I'm in my mid 40s and perimenopausal.

I often wish I'd had MN back when I was in an abusive relationship with my ex. I just needed to be told how it was.

Also reusable sanitary pads!

That in half the homes in the UK you're expected to take your shoes off at the door

That a lot of people with cats think it's ok if they shit in your garden; and most people without cats think it's not ok.

That some people have shockingly horrible and toxic parents.

That male children are like dogs - exercise , sleep and food in equal regular parts

@Velouria

How the fuck do people meet irl? I think I'm probably autistic, but not brave enough to be tested. I can't even make friends online, it makes me sad.

Some of us meet in groups we set up for swaps, or crafts, or whatever. Some people meet up on other social media platforms and get to know each other, and there also used to be regular Mumsnet meet ups. Now there's a board;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/meetups

That helium gas is finite and needed in MRI scanners.

Brilliant age appropriate book recommendations for my DC.

I changed my locks when DH snapped the key off in the doors. (He was worried I'd be furious. Instead he was v impressed that I measured up and ordered a new barrel from Amazon on the spot and had the thing done by 2pm the next day.)

I learned that my tops all have holes in not because of moths or rough jeans but because my FAT BELLY is pressing against the worktops when I cook or wash up. Humbling.

I learned what it's like to post somewhere on the internet where the default voice is female and how much that is missed in practically every other forum.

Also I've learned to appreciate DH more: he loves kids, is a hands-on dad, is cheerful and optimistic, doesn't binge drink, earns a good wage at a job he's happy at and adores his lovely kind parents. I've learned how good I have it, and I should probably quit bitching about the fact he's shit at DIY, never wipes a surface down, and is a bit wasteful, particularly in his Disney dad tendencies of never saying no or buying the kids lots of useless crap like V-bucks and baby alive food/nappies. I'll take the endless fake baby food for DD along with the never-misses-family-plans-because-too-hungover.

MN helped me leave a long term abusive marriage. I'm not sure I would have left if I hadn't had people opening my eyes as to what was unacceptable in a relationship, and giving me courage courage support to take action.

I also made a bunch of very good friends here and we meet up every so often.

And my DP. I met him on here and he is the opposite of my ex and I'm in a healthy relationship for the first time.

I owe a lot to MN.

Just how much racism there is out there.

How to have the strength to leave an abusive relationship. And how not to get into another one :)

Support when I had hyperemesis with all of my children.

A lovely group of crazy friends through one of the "due in..." pregnancy threads in 2014, we moved to FB pretty early on but still chat daily and have had meet ups. A diverse and fabulously supportive tribe of mutual weirdos :)

How to write opinions down without being inflammatory- or at least not getting drawn into rows with people who have misunderstood the intent behind what I've written. It's helped me develop my logic and objectivity hugely!

I bloody love you lot. I've been here 17 years :)

The massed threads of the Relationships board have, by sheer weight of numbers, been a revelation to me regarding the mechanisms by which primary care-givers (usually women) become trapped in the home or as low-earners against their own wishes.

The threads demonstrate over and over again the de facto power wielded by the person in a relationship who simply decides that child care and household shitwork isn't their problem, and is untroubled at dropping the children in it.

Not just childcare to cover a job, but basic popping to the shops, seeing friends or going out for an infamous MN hobby. A non-caring parent needn't even inform the other they are going out, never mind ask if it's convenient for the other to assume sole care or specify for how long.

It's really opened my eyes to the extent to which laws eg equal pay or equal hiring practices, while necessary, are so very, very far from sufficient. Neither the law, nor educational qualifications, nor supporting young people to pick rewarding careers, trumps the simple coercion applied privately, personally, and often silently in the home by a partner who takes no responsibility for their children’s care.

Don't comment to parents out with their babie Just ignore everyone.

I too learned to be a better feminist, and that women are generally great.
Also about the e-cloth mop.

So often we see threads where a man hasn't said, "I forbid you to get a job /see your friends / do your course."

He hasn't even said, "I permit you to get a job, etc, as long as you arrange and pay for childcare."

He hasn't said anything at all.

He also doesn't do anything at all. He doesn't organise a nursery place, he doesn't pay the nursery.

He just pootles out of the house in the morning, or away for 6 days on a work trip or holiday, as though his children don't exist.

He's essentially daring his partner to drop the ball. Partner can't call his bluff... because he isn't bluffing.

@PerkingFaintly

The massed threads of the Relationships board have, by sheer weight of numbers, been a revelation to me regarding the mechanisms by which primary care-givers (usually women) become trapped in the home or as low-earners against their own wishes.

The threads demonstrate over and over again the de facto power wielded by the person in a relationship who simply decides that child care and household shitwork isn't their problem, and is untroubled at dropping the children in it.

Not just childcare to cover a job, but basic popping to the shops, seeing friends or going out for an infamous MN hobby. A non-caring parent needn't even inform the other they are going out, never mind ask if it's convenient for the other to assume sole care or specify for how long.

It's really opened my eyes to the extent to which laws eg equal pay or equal hiring practices, while necessary, are so very, very far from sufficient. Neither the law, nor educational qualifications, nor supporting young people to pick rewarding careers, trumps the simple coercion applied privately, personally, and often silently in the home by a partner who takes no responsibility for their children’s care.

Yes. Totally agree with everything you've said there. And where else could it be discussed to the extent it is but on a forum predominantly made up of women and mums?

Oh so much. Key learns are:

There is a maintenance cycle on the washing machine and it’s important.

What coercive control and financial abuse are.

What an absolute weapons grade fucking arsehole my husband is, when I had previously thought he was just an irritating twat mostly.

Robot vacuum cleaners

And “did you mean to be so rude?”

Husband has gone by the way and divorce is almost through. Thankyou for making me LTB!

Try to be more eco friendly. I have cloth sanitary towels and latex straws.

That not all disabilities are visible (knew this anyway but there was more than meets the eye) and autism is much more common, instead of children simply being naughty

And yes feminism

I’m much more active in it

@Okbussitout

The tea towels thing made me chuckle. We have over 20 and use a few at a time and wash them pretty much daily. I find it kind of horrific people don't. When I'd be at friends and relatives the tea towels never look as fresh.

You’d hate my house. I wash my tea towels on the basis of ‘I can’t remember the last time I washed them’. We’re all still alive and have great immune systems.