The Obligatory Sad Tea Bag Wake and other kitchen nonsense...

[LadyJaye]

My OH is a lovely man, but for some reason, putting a tea bag in the food waste bin is ANATHEMA to him: we all must respect the Obligatory Sad Tea Bag Wake, where it sits pathetically by the side of (or worse, in) the sink until I can stand it no longer and put it in the fucking bin where it should have been in the first place.

What kitchen nonsense goes down in your house?

Dp when unpacking the food shop stacks it tastefully on the kitchen work tops and then strolls away
WHY?! is it THAT much easier than just putting them in the appropriate cupboard?
Does is hark back to cave man days? In his tiny mind has he just presented me with a whole boar to roast over the hearth?

The eleventh commandment is, apparently, "thou shall not replace the lids on any bottles, jars, biscuit tins, caddies, or any container whatsoever for the duration of their existence in thine kitchen".

We also seem to own the world's shyest cutlery - spoons disappear completely, and knives and forks attempt to hide themselves in the most obscure of hiding places. Time and again I have explained to them that they will be happy, comfortable and safe in their own special little bed, in their own special drawer. But evidently they don't believe me as I rarely find them in it.

We have a tea bag resting place (small bowl next to the kettle) which does overflow somewhat. I can deal with this. The wiping dirty hands/ mouth on a clean kitchen towel is driving me bonkers. Have enough to stick in the wash at the end of the day, but DH does this multiple times a day, so DDs take a clean one out every time - we end up with 10 used ones on the side. Also yes to spoonfuckery/ tasting and commenting on everything cooking whether raw or not. If he wasn't great in every other way, there'd be a new patio being considered.

My equally lovely DH is in a world of his own when it comes to expiry dates & what to keep.

If he likes a thing & it has a long expiry date, apparently it can live forever ONCE OPENED as long as it's in the fridge. Two week old cold meat? Fine. Cream that was opened 3 weeks ago? It's been in the fridge, it'll be OK.

Stuff I like but he doesn't is dangerous, though, even if it's still in date. So unopened bags of salad disappear from the fridge before I can eat them, & this weekend I found him about to put a newly-opened (& expensive) jar of cashew butter in the bin because, "It's still in date & nearly full but it's been in there for a while." Translation: "I don't eat this."

You keep cashew butter in the fridge???

Er... yes.

Oh. I keep it in the cupboard.

I don't think you need to refrigerate nut butters.

No, I imagine they'd be really hard to spread as well?

Oops, sorry to unintentionally derail this thread.

I should keep it in the cupboard because he never looks in there, so it's more likely to survive.

@ifIwerenotanandroid

Oops, sorry to unintentionally derail this thread.

I should keep it in the cupboard because he never looks in there, so it's more likely to survive.

Well, that's a solution!

@TheThermalStair & @marchofthesinisterducks oh god yes my DH did this , a full bowl of hot soapy water , in goes one coffee cup , one toast plate , one knife with butter and jam on it (so I know there is butter in the jam again ) and the all just sit there having a nice long hot bath until i come to them a few hours later cold manky water

Here is a logic problem for you all to enjoy:

You are in a kitchen. In the kitchen there is:

1. A counter full of dishes awaiting cleaning. There is a mix of things suitable for the dishwasher and unsuitable for same.
2. A draining board. Empty, but not large
3. A dishwasher, half full
4. A sink, supply of hot water and washing up liquid.

Your challenge is to clear the countertop.

My solution:

1. Wash up non-dishwasher items, leave to drain
2. Put dishwasher items in dishwasher thus filling it, run dishwasher

Result: clear countertop, everything clean.

DH's solution:
Just wash stuff up, as it comes innit?
Result: full draining board, washing up still to be done on countertop, dishwasher half full going a bit revolting while it waits to be filled.

What REALLY winds me up is that we've discussed this, and he just doesn't agree that my way is the only logical solution better.

Still, he's a lovely man and most excellent in almost every other way so I try not to dwell on it too much.

I did enjoy writing this though.

The fact that I fucking bought an expensive fucking bin with different compartments for different waste and people still don't check its the right bin for the right thing and they are fucking labelled.

@marchofthesinisterducks

Filling the washing up bowl with water to allow things to "soak", but then conveniently forgetting to do said washing up so I come from work hours later to a bowl full of freezing cold, greasy water.

Yes It takes ages for the hot tap to run hot. So he takes the neatly stacked rinsed dishes from beside the sink, tosses them in like warm water and fucks off. Leaving me to wash them in cold water or start again. I would be less hacked off, but he let the water company install a meter while I was out!!

Teabags rest in peace in a little bowl, specially designed for dead teabags near the kettle, until they overflow, and travel to the bin.
My mum does this too. It would drive me mad!

I can't get over the water meter thing .it's my name above the door. He has been good to me, and I have been good to him. But I think things are happening in the summer which will put an end to it and quite frankly, I can't wait.

@marchofthesinisterducks

Filling the washing up bowl with water to allow things to "soak", but then conveniently forgetting to do said washing up so I come from work hours later to a bowl full of freezing cold, greasy water.

Same

For all of them with DP that leave things to soak , next time you are cooking the spuds / carrots / broccoli etc put them in a pan of hot water put them on the hob but dont put a light under them , serve you DPs with the veg when they ask why its raw tell them you put it to soak like they do with the cups / plates so you though it would work for veg

I recognise most of these.

Inwill add in leaving the oven gloves in the cutleru drawer. In fact I find pan lids and all sorts in it.

Canned food leftover (eg half a tin of beans) is not decanted but goes in the fridge in the can; or if it's something like leftover cooked veg he just sticks the pan in the fridge.

DH leaves a bowl of water for washing up throughout the day “as we’re (he’s) home all day”. Except it quickly goes cold and we have a dishwasher.

Leaving toast plates out as he’ll use them again later (he doesn’t).

Never emptying the draining board.

Apparently our plastic pots taste funny unless they’ve been rinsed after coming out of the dishwasher. And then they end up on the sodding draining board.

@starfishmummy

I recognise most of these.

Inwill add in leaving the oven gloves in the cutleru drawer. In fact I find pan lids and all sorts in it.

Canned food leftover (eg half a tin of beans) is not decanted but goes in the fridge in the can; or if it's something like leftover cooked veg he just sticks the pan in the fridge.

How spacious is your cutlery drawer?!

MinnieMountain "....Apparently our plastic pots taste funny unless they've been rinsed after coming out of the dishwasher......"

I really think he should stop eating plastic pots. You've got a bigger problem with your dh than most on this thread.

Sorry - couldn't resist.