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The mounting mountain of stuff on the table, anyone else

52 replies

Tinkywinkydipsylalapofaced · 28/03/2021 14:00

I am sure this has been done to death but I am feeling the rage at the frequency which I have to tidy detritus from the kitchen table. Loose papers, the odd penny, the recycling being put there rather than in the recycling bin.
Anyone else have one space in their house which is cleaned/tidied, only to be used as a handy spot for everything and anything?!

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 28/03/2021 22:34

Kitchen table here too. I’ve given up. Stuff that DD1 left there before going back to Uni after Christmas is still there.

Abracadabra12345 · 28/03/2021 22:43

@shadypines

Yes, my bug bear is the coffee table/s, the largest of our 3 is esp used for detritus. Got the odd grubby penny? Stick it on the table(SIOTT) Cut a label off a new top? SIOTT(along with that annonying little plactic tag) Got a scrap of paper with a number written on? You know the one that will get lost in the blink of any eye and you'll loose your temper when you can't find it yes DH I'm talking to you SIOTT Got a dirty tissue? SIOTT Opened a letter and can't be bothered to bin/recycle the envelope? SIOTT Got any sort of bill/receipt? SIOTT

I wouldn't mind if any of the above were temporary but if muggins does not shift it it could become the next Tate Modern art instillation.

Thank you for making me laugh at what is my pet hate / irritation. Our coffee table is the first thing you see in the lounge and my DH uses it as a dump. So this has made me feel so much better and made me laugh too

Tate Modern art installation 😆

moochingtothepub · 28/03/2021 22:55

Yep. Well it goes by Tuesday as the students are due home and need the space!

LadyCluck · 28/03/2021 22:55

Feels like most surfaces have become a dumping ground - dining table in particular.

I’ve not long come home after spending three weeks in hospital having had a baby. The house in that time is completely cluttered and looks like a tip. I want to get stuck in to clearing it all but I’m still recovering and I have a newborn to care for. Everyone else in the house seems blind to the mess which is infuriating.

Tinkywinkydipsylalapofaced · 28/03/2021 23:25

Mortified but just realised my error...@shadypines massive apologies as can see now you were writing lose not loose in response to your own post, I hadn't checked the usernames and just thought there was someone purely jumping on the thread to pick up my grammar. Obviously only twat round here is me (and the person who leaves everything on kitchen table)!

Currently got a vegan cookbook and oil diffuser sat on the corner step of staircase. I'm going to see how long it takes until anything else gets added to top of the book.
Glad to know other people have similar in their houses!

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 29/03/2021 00:04

@TroysMammy

I keep the table laid to prevent build up of crap, placemats, plate on top, cutlery and salt and pepper.
This is quite extreme, but it’s effective! I put a spiky plant on the windowsill near the front door for this very purpose.

Hasn’t helped the top of any other available surface near the front door, the Basket O Crap on the end of the kitchen worktop, the sideboard in the lounge or the whole dining table.

Urgh. I know it’s all about enforcing better habits, particularly with the DC, but it’s So Much Effort.

My own personal rage is that my DH thinks he is Mr Perfect because he always “puts his things away where he can find them” - the DC hear this lecture frequently but in fact this is massively limited because he never considers anything not personally his to be in his wheelhouse of jurisdiction as the only other adult here.

So his keys, wallet, phone, his mask, all put away neatly. But that junk mail? Leave it for NoS (“I didn’t know if you’d need to see it”.) Funnily enough I don’t need to see the FineFoods flyer, an estate agent touting for business or the right-wing councillor campaign leaflet, DH. Just bloody bin it already.

Ditto anything left by the DC - not his issue, either to put away or nag them to do it. Sellotape left out, or glue - put them away where they live so you “always know where to find them” you’d think. But no. Not his responsibility, I guess. Or empty bottles/recycling - leave it approximately near the bin, especially if it needs rinsing out or the bin emptying. Half-used containers of stuff like toothpaste where you’ve opened a new one already - just leave those for NoS to deal with.

It’s infuriating.

Cherrysoup · 29/03/2021 00:48

@shadypines yes, yes, to all of that! Envelopes just left, bloody burn or recycle! Why this is my job escapes me. Bank statements, empty Jiffy bags from an Amazon or other delivery, random screws, multiple keys, god knows what they’re for.

JFCO · 29/03/2021 01:32

Yes! Kitchen island. When I planned our kitchen, in my mind, there was to be beautiful vase with beautiful flowers in it on my island. Nothing else. There is a vase and flowers now- with mountains of stuff rubbish around it. Bugs me no end!

LemonSwan · 29/03/2021 01:36

Do what my DP does. He gets a bin bag and slides the whole table into the bin bag and shoves it in a cupboard. If you didnt need to hunt for something in 2 months it gets thrown away!

Anycrispsleft · 29/03/2021 05:52

When I moved into this house I was excited that there was enough space in the living room to have a table where the kids could do their homework without having to clear all the kibble off the dining table. This is it this morning (dining table is even worse). If there's a horizontal surface, people will leave their shit on it.

The mounting mountain of stuff on the table, anyone else
mathanxiety · 29/03/2021 06:10

Like you, OP, it's the kitchen table.

It currently holds:
box of tissues
box of disposable masks
box containing two visors
bag of corn chips
box of envelopes
big salad bowl containing three avocados
bottle of fruit juice that should be in the fridge
box of Christmas lights
roll of paper towels
two pine cones
bottle of Mexican spicy sauce
tin of golden syrup
several printed recipes and one hand written one
three coasters

I decided before Christmas to put the table in another room and replace it with a very small one just big enough to hold a teapot and cup of tea. The replacement table is on my back porch waiting for me to sand it off, paint it, decoupage the top, and install it. I have all the materials. Just need a weekend of clear weather to get it done outdoors.

JumpLeadsForTwo · 29/03/2021 06:31

Ours is the kitchen table - I ask DDs to tidy everything away and make the table on a Sunday for lunch and they shift the pile to the kitchen side Hmm Every other day we just eat around it. Once a month or so, I blitz it

PennineWayinSlingbacks · 29/03/2021 06:37

Our dining room table also contains odd (usually dirty) socks that have been rescued from the puppy's mouth. Also shoes that have to be kept out of his reach. Plus coats. Because it's just unreasonable to expect anyone to go as far as the boot room to hang anything up because it means walking through another room.
(It's an old house with no hallway, all the rooms are in a line)
Random stuff sits there for weeks till I get fed up. Then I get, in outraged tones, 'where are my headphones etc? I left them on this exact spot only 3 weeks ago?'
I'm expected to know the exact whereabouts of everyone's stuff at any time. It's like the house is a giant Kim's game.

FlatteredFool · 29/03/2021 06:41

I feel your pain. Whenever my mum visits (in my bubble before anyone starts) she looks at my table in a sad, disapproving look that mums are so good at that says, "Flattered, I brought you up better than to have your dining table covered in all this mess." Dd2 is the worst offender.

Londonnight · 29/03/2021 07:02

Kitchen table at the moment contains
Kenwood food processor and blender ---- too big to fit into cupboards
A roll of bin bags from Costco which again too big for the cupboard
A plant I got for Christmas [ that is still alive somehow ]
My bag for work
pens
Shop for life bags that need to go back into the car

Superstardjs · 29/03/2021 07:08

My table is a thing of emptiness. Top of the microwave, however...

NoSquirrels · 29/03/2021 07:28

A roll of bin bags from Costco which again too big for the cupboard

How big can a roll of bin bags be? Shock

Londonnight · 29/03/2021 08:12

It's a roll of 100 bags. Because it's a large roll it makes it difficult to fit into the small cupboards I have.

HunterAngel · 29/03/2021 08:16

One of the crowning achievements of my life was managing to convince DH that the hob was not an ideal place to leave his crap. And it only took two years of nagging followed by literally holding his brand new smart phone over the bin and telling him the next time I found it on the hob I’d bin it before he got the message

shadypines · 29/03/2021 19:13

@Tinkywinkydipsylalapofaced, thanks for apology it's an easy mistake to make if you use same word. I would never correct anyone's grammar or spelling for no very good reason, it's way below the belt.

@Abracadabra12345 glad to be of service but seriously, last time we visited the Tate Modern there was a big cardboard box and a black bin bag in the middle of the Turbine hall. We thought the cleaner had left it there until we spotted an information board next to it, it was actually a piece of shit ...art Shock

shadypines · 29/03/2021 19:15

HunterAngel I have to admit your pain is far greater than mine..the hob ffs

EventOfTheSeason · 29/03/2021 19:18

The table is fine but don't look on the living room windowsill (it's covered in all the shite moved from the table!)

TheSandman · 29/03/2021 19:23

I know it is boring but if you have enough storage and make people put their stuff away eventually it stops accumulating.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .....

Oh gods! which planet do YOU live on?

shadypines · 29/03/2021 19:24

Funnily enough I don’t need to see the FineFoods flyer, an estate agent touting for business or the right-wing councillor campaign leaflet, DH. Just bloody bin it already.

NoSquirrels I hear you, DH puts every fecking takeaway leaflet on the table and we've not been able to have takeaways for last 17yrs as DS has some severe food allergies ...grrrr.

fireplaceburning · 29/03/2021 20:00

Mine open post and then leave the crap rather than dealing with it.

In an attempt to get on top of it I have a big bulldog clip where I clip paperwork that needs dealing with, current school dinner menus etc.

I also have a storage box, a bit bigger than a4 which keeps pens and odd bits of crap. At least this can be moved if I know people are coming round or it doesn't look as messy as it's in one place.