3 year old had her immunisations today... scary?

[faithfulbird20]

The fact that I had to watch my child be so vulnerable and cry broke my heart and gave me so bad anxiety...she had her first shot and cried and then was crying whilst nurse gave her her second shot...the fact that I heard her just give up through the way she changed her crying...honestly felt so sorry for her...it's just weird to think about helpless she felt...I'm probably exaggerating...but why do we do this to our kids and being a parent and watching ur child in pain is sooo hard...

I see it's too late, but yes at 3, you can prepare them.

Conversation with dd:
Me- we're going to see the nurse today, she's going to give you some medicine in your arm to stop you getting sick.
Dd - ok can i open my toy
Me - after you've had injections. You can show the nurse before you have them. It might hurt for a minute but it will be ok.
Dd - ok.

At the surgery - -no issues, nurse told her to close her eyes and hug me tight, done and dusted. Thought I'd have trouble with the second one, but no issues. I think 3 yo understand more than we give them credit for - dd knew it would hurt for a second and then she'd get her little toy to open.

Then she wanted to phone granny to tell her what she had done, and that was that.

If you go in anxious, then so will your daughter. If you give the impression that it's nothing to worry about and it's just something you have to do, there would probably be not a big issue.

@faithfulbird20

Vulnerable because we didn't tell her she was having them. She went in unprepared (after happily playing/joking around in the reception areas) and then the nurse told her it was to protect her from germs from other boys and girls.

That's your problem then. At our practice the nurse won't do a child who is brought into the room unknowing because they typically firstly get far more upset, then the next time they have to come back to the doctors get hysterical because they don't know what's coming.

Apologise to your dc for not telling them beforehand and promise (and keep the promise) that you'll always tell them as best you know what is happening at the doctors in future.

Sounds like you are suffering severe anxiety and you are causing your child to suffer from the same
Really hope you get some professional help for both of you

You couldn’t have watched a cartoon about it (there’s a good episode of Bing) or showed her with toys without scaring her? I prefer to tell my children honestly what will happen in advance of this kind of thing because otherwise they’ll just be fearful of what might be sprung on them today - how do they trust me?

Having been prepared though I stand by the idea that absolutely piercing screams over something less traumatic than a grazed knee is unacceptable behaviour from even a three year old. At some point children have to learn to tone down the dramatics over minor things.

Honestly though, you have a three week old. It’s a hard and emotional time for both of you with that. It’s over and done with now. She’s fine. Don’t give it too much headspace.

Far easier with a 3 year old who you can talk to than with a 10 week old who’s howling with inconsolable pain as part of a normal reaction to their baby jabs. I did it, obviously, but I did feel like Cruella de Ville. I don’t think they normally get bad reactions after their toddler jabs do they?

But with a 3 week old you’re forgiven for being a bit irrational OP.

Programs like get well soon on CBeebies are great for helping prepare them in an age appropriate way

I hope this isn't another angle on anti-vax.
As parents, we need to be strong for our children. Even giving a child a med is sometimes painful to watch, but we need to do it sometimes.
My worst memory is my dc , then 2, was being sedated for his OP. He cried for me and trying to get away from drs and nurses, reaching out to me.
Good thing is, he doesn't remember it at all now.

I’m a retired doctor and I’m afraid I agree with the PPs who say children pick up their parents’ fear and anxiety.
It is perfectly possible to prepare even a two year old in advance, so they know what to expect and why it is necessary.
I told my DD aged two that it would be a tiny scratch to stop her getting ill with nasty diseases, and that she should remember to thank the doctor afterwards.
In those days they were given into the buttock. DD winced, then hitched up her nappy and said “Thank you for nice jab to stop me be ill”. The GP nearly fell off her chair - she said it was the first time a toddler had thanked her for an immunisation!
I told DD I was very proud of her nice manners, and took her home for tea. No drama, no trauma.
You really need to put your child’s need for support above your own anxieties, and if you know you can’t control yourself sufficiently to project a calm atmosphere, get someone else to take them.

She was upset because she didn't know she was having them.

Again... what? Why didn't you tell her? Just before going in to the appointment, tell her the basic facts of what would happen? My questions about you being particularly young or thick is that I cannot understand this approach at all, it sounds very dim.

I sometimes think I’m dead inside when I hear friends talk about being upset to take their DC to imms. appointments. I honestly don’t feel bad in the slightest, I also have two DC who require regular blood tests and I don’t feel bad about these either. It’s to keep them safe and the alternative is much, much worse.

Maybe you need some additional support if you’ve just had a new baby and this level of anxiety isn’t normal for you?

@Babdoc I always ask my DC to say thank you when we are leaving after blood tests etc

I don't know which sane child whose not had an injection in a long time wouldn't cry seeing two big long needles waiting to be poked inside them.

Also what the fuck kind of scaremongering is this? My children (yes, plural!) did not start crying and are perfectly sane, thanks. The needle is not 'poked inside them' - it's a jab in the arm. Very very odd approach, OP. Maybe seek help for health anxiety and stop it rubbing off on your poor kid.

My little dude fainted when he was five after his. Poor guy. Not nice but come on op. Parenting isn't always nicey nice,they have to do things they don't want to and it's your job to lead by example and prepare them for the not nice times, don't pretend it's not happening.

We told the older children what would happen and why they needed to have it done, my daughter watched the needles go in and then asked for a sticker !, my son was livid but it lasted less than 30
Seconds and it needs to be done

Dontstepinthecowpat, same for me. My dc has chronic illness that require taking blood regularly. At one point, he was woken up just to take blood everyday, his wrist was bruised because they held it so hard so he doesn't move. And yes he refused and tried to get away. He was too young to understand back then. Should I have become hysterical seeing dc suffer?
He still needs it regularly now years later, and hates it but understand the importance.
I became very cynical of parents of healthy dc complaining their dc crying for just one injection.

You really need to get treatment for your anxiety, this is no quality of life for you and in time a lower quality of life for your children.
I recently had to call an ambulance when my toddler suddenly stopped breathing and I experienced about 10% of the anxiety you describe around a routine vaccination. (Toddler is fine now.)

@Dontstepinthecowpat another heartless one here too!
We watched the Bing vaccinations episode a few times, and she was quite excited to go for hers. I took some shiny stickers for after and she was absolutely fine, a bit of a wince when it went it but no tears.

I do think when your child goes through a lot of procedures you do learn to be “heartless” as a coping mechanism. I was taught a few weeks ago how to draw up and administer an emergency injection for DS. As much as I hope I never have to give it afterwards I was amazed when I realised how matter of fact I was about it.

I think that your anxiety is already starting to rub off on your child in all aspects of her life. Time for you to go to the GP and access therapy and/or medication - you will all feel better. Your language around syringes is absolutely shocking.

A small chocolate bar afterwards really dries up those tears!

One thing I wondered is why is it her first immunisation at 3? Didn't she have any as a baby?

@Cptartapp absolutely agree with this. I'm quite laid back as a parent. My 3 year old had his on Wednesday, we talked about it before, were both relaxed, he didn't cry. Just wanted his sticker!

At 3 you just pick them up if they won’t go don’t you?

Grow up.

And don't visit the Vatican.

I think you need someone else to take your children for these things.

There is no question that these vaccines have changed our world and stopped children dying of preventable illnesses.

You sound highly anxious, this isn't criticism lots of us are, especially after the year we have just all had.

You have to find a way to prepare your children but not frighten them.

I grew up terrified of absolutely everything, and it came from my mum. We knew everything that worried her and we weren't able to rationalise these fears as we could as adults.