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Original poster

3 year old had her immunisations today... scary?

87 replies

faithfulbird20 · 26/03/2021 01:27

The fact that I had to watch my child be so vulnerable and cry broke my heart and gave me so bad anxiety...she had her first shot and cried and then was crying whilst nurse gave her her second shot...the fact that I heard her just give up through the way she changed her crying...honestly felt so sorry for her...it's just weird to think about helpless she felt...I'm probably exaggerating...but why do we do this to our kids and being a parent and watching ur child in pain is sooo hard...

OP posts:
TeenMinusTests · 26/03/2021 08:01

A few posters above need to notice this is Chat not AIBU.

OP - I would contact your GP about your anxiety. They might be able to recommend techniques to calm yourself, or even some tablets for more stressful occasions. It is important you learn to stay calm around your child.

PolarnOPirate · 26/03/2021 08:05

Agree, they definitely feed off the parents' emotions. DS had his this week and didn't cry until he came home and saw me (DH took him because I am lazy).

It is much more horrible when they're 3 compared to when they are clueless babies though, I agree.
My eldest had his chicken pox vaccine when he was about 4 and it was absolute carnage.

Same4Walls · 26/03/2021 08:06

I really have to agree with previous posters that you need to seek help as your reaction is completely disproportionate and your anxiety will have contributed significantly towards your daughters response.

It's also quite worrying that you were still giving this so much head space that you felt the need to post about it in the middle of the night.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds Behaviour & development Families General health
rattlemehearties · 26/03/2021 08:09

What? Are you very very young and missed a lot of school? This is an odd reaction. I told my kids it was special medicine to stop them getting ill. They didn't cry. I wonder if she was picking up on your heightened stress and that's what upset her.

JulianTheUnicorn · 26/03/2021 08:13

My 3yos vaccs were much easier than the previous ones. He knew there would be a small scratch, he sat on my knee. He winced a bit but he didn't cry and he was praised for being brave and afterwards we went to get a gingerbread man and that's the part of the day he remembered. At that age it's a lot about how you handle it and the child will follow your lead

MrsFin · 26/03/2021 08:26

The fact that I had to watch my child be so vulnerable and cry broke my heart and gave me so bad anxiety..

Really? Vulnerable? Hmm

Crappyfridays7 · 26/03/2021 08:29

I’ve got 4 kids and I’ve taken them all for their vaccinations. The pre school ones were actually fine I took a lolly for afterwards 2 didn’t cry at all was just in jagged and out, cuddles for the upset ones and lolly for all and moved on with the day.

It’s not nice seeing your child upset but it is for their own safety as the diseases we are protecting them from are much worse than some little jags. I’m a paeds nurse so have seen very poorly children and what they go through and equally what their parents go through you want to prevent that if you can, so it’s about perspective I suppose and realising you’re doing a good thing for your child even though it’s not nice at the time. I agree with other posters re your anxiety, it’s worth seeking support for that to manage it before it becomes worse, and must be really difficult for you to cope with feeling like this day in day out. If your child ever did require to come to hospital or have a procedure you want to be there for them calm and strong as you can knowing staff are helping. Take care op

BluebellsGreenbells · 26/03/2021 08:29

Did you give pain relief BEFORE you took her there? It does help.

Hoppythehippo · 26/03/2021 08:30

It’s difficult because of covid atm but I’d strongly suggest getting someone else to take her for future such things.

One of mine absolutely screamed when having it - I told her she was being ridiculous and to stop being so loud she was scaring the babies in the waiting room. It’s a scratch not amputation of a limb without anaesthetic. I’m very matter of fact about it - it’s necessary, it’s happening, it’ll hurt for a moment, what packet of sweeties would you like for afterwards. Can’t say I was upset or felt guilty at all - I saw something on tv once where a woman had walked for miles, a whole day, carrying her small child for vaccinations from a visiting team of medics. Who themselves had travelled for days on terrible roads to distribute the vaccines. They interviewed her and she sobbed because she was so grateful for her child’s vaccine. I think of her every time my kids get easily available, miraculously effective medicine, for free, within a mile of their home.

Reinventinganna · 26/03/2021 08:33

I used to have to take dc because xh was like this. He made it so much worse for them by getting so upset.

It isn’t the nicest day out but neither is seeing your child fighting an illness that you could have prevented.

BluebellsGreenbells · 26/03/2021 08:35

I agree with the above poster.

I also think if these woman who walk miles with a baby on their front and 3 year old on their backs to get them medicine for preventable illnesses. Then find they aren’t I’ll enough to qualify.

We are lucky and you should treat this as the same thing, so what if they cry? It’s soon over.

I always booked the last appointment so they were then fed and straight to bed after vaccines - so they could sleep it off.

Original poster
faithfulbird20 · 26/03/2021 08:40

Vulnerable because we didn't tell her she was having them. She went in unprepared (after happily playing/joking around in the reception areas) and then the nurse told her it was to protect her from germs from other boys and girls.

OP posts:
Original poster
faithfulbird20 · 26/03/2021 08:44

I posted this at night because I was awake with my 3 week old...

If a 3 year old is scared of getting 'shots' fact is no amount of talking is going to not make them scared...no amount of sweets and treats...

I think because she didn't know she was going to have them till 5 mins before ( she is going through separation anxiety because of new baby/restarting nursery and didn't want to scare her beforehand)...she was upset and kept saying I don't like shots till we got home...

OP posts:
roguetomato · 26/03/2021 08:44

I know it's hard to see your child suffer. But the pain of injection is nothing compared to the real illness and treatments that many other children suffer.

Seeline · 26/03/2021 08:45

You should have prepared her for it. At 3 they are perfectly capable of understanding what is happening and why if addressed in age appropriate way.

I hope you had chocolate buttons for her afterwards.

GreenFlamingo11 · 26/03/2021 08:46

Well you probably should have tried to prepare her a little beforehand. No wonder it was a shock for her. At least you know for next time.

Original poster
faithfulbird20 · 26/03/2021 08:46

@BluebellsGreenbells I normally do but this time I didn't because I forgot ( last vaccinations was when she was a year old)

@Hoppythehippo agree with the last point but I wouldn't agree with the tough love telling her she was ridiculous. Mines three and is at that stage of defiance and being scared of a lot of things.

OP posts:
Original poster
faithfulbird20 · 26/03/2021 08:50

@rattlemehearties how does being young or missing school (neither of which apply to me) have to do with it. Make a point without insulting. She was upset because she didn't know she was having them. I don't know which sane child whose not had an injection in a long time wouldn't cry seeing two big long needles waiting to be poked inside them. Yes, she saw them and it worried her more. But she's over it now.

OP posts:
Same4Walls · 26/03/2021 08:51

Well of course she wss confused, upset anf and worried. Why on earth would anyone think taking a 3 year old to have their vaccinations without telling them what was happening would be a good idea?

There's plenty of ways to help her see them as a normal not scary experience. Have you tried watching tv shows that explain them, I think bing does an episode? Another great idea is to role play it with dolls beforehand so she understands the process. Sending her in blind if you already knew she was likely to be upset seems beyond cruel.

Original poster
faithfulbird20 · 26/03/2021 08:54

@Same4Walls if I had told her beforehand she wouldn't have gone out the door out of fear...already had a a big tantrum that morning about not going to nursery because she was scared...didn't want to stress her even more..she would have refused to get out the house...then in the car then out of the car...it's not something I wanted to go through with a 3 week old baby too...

OP posts:
Sirzy · 26/03/2021 08:54

At 3 unless they have been through a lot of medical procedures then they won’t know to be scared of vaccinations unless they are given the idea they should be scared.

“The nurse is going to give you some medicine in your arm, it might hurt a little bit but then we will go home and have some sweets and a film” should be all it takes.

One of the key things is finding a way to hide your irrational anxieties from your children so that they don’t pick up on them

Same4Walls · 26/03/2021 08:57

[quote faithfulbird20]@Same4Walls if I had told her beforehand she wouldn't have gone out the door out of fear...already had a a big tantrum that morning about not going to nursery because she was scared...didn't want to stress her even more..she would have refused to get out the house...then in the car then out of the car...it's not something I wanted to go through with a 3 week old baby too...[/quote]
But why is she scared? What has made her afraid,l (it's very unusual for a child to be terrified of vaccination unless they have had a lot of injections). Have you tried anything to help her overcome that fear? Honestly I cannot see how you can possibly believe taking her uninformed and without warning is going to do anything else but add to this already preexisting fear?

TeenMinusTests · 26/03/2021 08:58

I used to hide DD's face in my chest with my arms wrapped around her so she wouldn't see the needles and could be held still.

Seeline · 26/03/2021 08:59

@Sirzy

At 3 unless they have been through a lot of medical procedures then they won’t know to be scared of vaccinations unless they are given the idea they should be scared.

“The nurse is going to give you some medicine in your arm, it might hurt a little bit but then we will go home and have some sweets and a film” should be all it takes.

One of the key things is finding a way to hide your irrational anxieties from your children so that they don’t pick up on them

THis - a 3 yo won't remember jabs from previous times unless they've had additional medical requirements.

You have the responsibilty to prepare your children for life - this was one of those occasions.

She shouldn't have had the opportunity to see the syringes either. Sit them on your lap away from the nurse/desk etc.

I think a lot of this has come from your attitude and approach. HAve you spoken to your GP?

BluebellsGreenbells · 26/03/2021 08:59

I’ve also done that on my lap with them snuggled into me, it does help, you just whisper nice things

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