Oh no! I sound so middle class! How embarrassing....or not

[TangerineCandyfloss]

Hi,

Just a light hearted one, but does anyone else get slightly irritated when people tell you how mortified they are at being/sounding middle class, but go into great detail as to why, leading you to believe they're probably not all that "mortified".

Example: "dd asked me today - mummy, can we have sea bass with capers tonight? It's my favourite fish" Oh, I was so embarrassed! How middle class do we sound?!lol"

Now, don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a child liking sea bass...or quinoa...or kimchi or anything else "middle class" sounding, but why do some people pretend how embarrassed they are, only to tell you or everyone on social media?

It's just obvious that they're not embarrassed at all, so actually has the complete opposite effect.

Does anyone know what I mean?

A long time ago someone told me they had been collecting frogspawn (or similar) with their kids and I said "what, in a jam-jar?" And they said "no, in a pesto jar daahling!"

I guess this MAY have been in the days when pesto was still a bit exotic but it still makes me laugh now!

No wonder working class people can sometimes be anxious to dissociate themselves from their own background, given that everyone treats them like objects of condescension or scorn.

I'm working class and have never felt this way. No food or culture is barred to anyone, it's the people who make a great show of it then protest too much who are tedious bores. I went to a RG uni and never felt undermined or embarrassed. I was there on my own merit, the same as everyone else. I personally care very little for class, but I care even less for show offs, and braggarts whatever their class.

We've introduced her to pastry based food and chocolate that isn't 85% cocoa.

These are called gateway foods for a reason.

I think some of you might enjoy Harry Trevaldwyn’s mummy videos
mobile.twitter.com/harrytrevaldwyn/status/1353327545324855298

I’m middle class. I don’t see it as anything to be either proud or ashamed of. It just is.

[quote SwedishK]@UnderHisAye

I just think threads like these are designed to bash middle class people. Basically, a middle class person have to pretend in front of others that they don't do typically middle class things so that they don't come across as humble braggers. If something lets slipped (like the example with the sea bass in the OP) the person has to publicly declare how embarrassed they are that people will now think they are middle class. Then they get ridiculed for that. There is something very wrong with that.[/quote]
I agree. It's horrible. We've also had to pay for dd to have private counselling as the Camhs waiting list is 18 months long and we can afford it. I hate that we have to do this but my dd's well being is actually my priority.
When we first booked the therapy, i had to say to the counsellor, oh she cant do thursdays as she has cello, at which point I totally apologised for sounding like a knob. I wish we didn't have this rubbish in our heads.

I think threads like these are designed to laugh at pretensions. It was known as keeping up with the Jones when I was young. Classes are far more intermingled these days, with the biggest mass being in the middle.

I don't get why some feel guilty about not being working class any more, and others feel the need to be all Hyacinth Bouquet. They usually give themselves away by starting sentences with 'myself'.

@Gingernaut

BBC iPlayer link Jason Manford had a whole tour out of this phenomenon, where his kids are posher than him now.

That show, The Muddle Classes, is so funny, well worth watching! I also read recently something where a Northern comedian, Kay, McGuiness maybe, had been mortified when house hunting and his children complained that the pool wasn't very big. Posts like this remind me of Trading Paces where Eddie Murphy's being shown how to use the jacuzzi and he says 'If we wanted bubbles when we were kids we had to fart in the tub'.

@Potpourriandpennysweets

Quinoa's cousin Kombucha meanwhile has moved in with her boyfriend, and they have gotten heavily into McDonalds and Kombucha has therefore been cut off until she can see sense. Well, almost cut off, Mummy and Daddy are still paying for her organic veg box and sending Waitrose vouchers in the hope she will one day she will get the help she needs and come back to them.

Fortunately Kombucha has found a dealer who is happy to accept Waitrose vouchers.........

@Lepetitpiggy you could just say she has a music lesson?

Traditionally, middle class was a lot posher than it is now. In the old days, if you had a job for any reason other than fun, you were still working class.

I think we feel "middle class" now means all the people who don't live on council estates, but also don't live on country estates.

The old view was, middle class people didn't have mortgages. Their kids went to private school. They probably had relatives in the House of Lords or, at the very least, Who's Who. Jilly Cooper wrote about middle-class people. Upper class is people with inherited titles, and royalty.

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

Since when is calling someone middle class an insult? I’d say it’s pretty stand comedy fare, Kevin bridges, Michael McIntyre,Jason Manford

It's seen as an easy target but trying taking a pop at the lifestyles of the 'working classes' more especially the 'non-working classes' and see what happens. In the same way 'toff' is acceptable, but 'pleb', 'oik' etc are not. Strange, isn't it?

[quote Seymour5]@Lepetitpiggy you could just say she has a music lesson?[/quote]
Yes! thank you. Honestly, I know I sound like a tit but it has been bugging me.

I couldn't give a stuff about class. I do eyeball though when people post pictures of their kids carpaccio/gazpacho dinner on social media but somehow manage to avoid doing so when they're having spaghetti! It's not the fact they like the food, it's that the parent obviously gets a bit of a superiority complex about it.

The weird thing to me is the implication that it's bad for a middle class person to sound middle class.

I still snigger occasionally at the poster who was complaining her DH was mowing the lawn when he should have been preparing lunch for the children, and who made a point of saying that she had put fish fingers and hand-cut chips in the oven.

Haha I WISH ds would " embarrass " me in that way
The last time I picked up a bottle of wine in the co op he asked me if I was going to drink it when I got home very loudly, at 11 am

@SwedishK

Oh, right. In that case I was probably guilty of humble bragging when DD was little. She was an unusual child with a very unusual taste in food. She hated anything typically kid friendly like fish fingers, sausages, meat balls, cheese pizza etc. It was such a pain as these are the most common items on a kids menu but she just wouldn't eat it.

Instead she loved sashimi, oysters, seaweed salad, carpaccio, truffle salami etc.

So yea, I was often complaining about what a pain in the arse it was to feed her as she only liked expensive and hard to find food. Didn't realise people thought I was bragging,

Of course they thought you were bragging (and probably a bit of a knobber too)

@Dontforgetyourbrolly

Haha I WISH ds would " embarrass " me in that way The last time I picked up a bottle of wine in the co op he asked me if I was going to drink it when I got home very loudly, at 11 am

love it

[quote SwedishK]@UnderHisAye

I just think threads like these are designed to bash middle class people. Basically, a middle class person have to pretend in front of others that they don't do typically middle class things so that they don't come across as humble braggers. If something lets slipped (like the example with the sea bass in the OP) the person has to publicly declare how embarrassed they are that people will now think they are middle class. Then they get ridiculed for that. There is something very wrong with that.[/quote]
It’s not bashing middle class people. Mumsnet is overwhelmingly middle class. It’s bashing people who like to make a big thing of their ‘middle class-ness’ by pretending it’s all a huge inconvenience to them. Like the difference between;

“Jess is having a pizza making party at pizza express for her birthday, would Emily like to come?”
“I’m sure she’d love to, but she’s not a fan of pizza. Is there any way she’d be able to have anything else?”

and

“Oh Emily doesn’t eat pizza. I wish she would eat normal children’s food, it’s such an inconvenience. Would she be able to have a salad instead? It needs to be from the UK and farmed entirely by organic virgins.”

I hate how people look down on middle class people and think it's OK because they are privileged. It's not anymore OK to do that than there is to look down on working class people or upper class people.

It’s generally considered more acceptable to punch up than it is to punch down? Looking down on someone because they are poorer or less educated than you is completely different to mocking someone for being a bit pretentious.

I do think one or two have taken this is the completely wrong way.

I am not middle class bashing and I don't believe there is anything wrong with children enjoying these kinds of foods. I love to see kids trying different things and I hate kids menus which are just pizza, burger, fish fingers, bowl of chips etc as if they can't possibly want to try something a bit less boring!

My issue is simply with parents pretending they're embarrassed when they're not.

@BrintIg

The weird thing to me is the implication that it's bad for a middle class person to sound middle class.

It comes from the middle class themselves though.

I think maybe because they are mostly decent humble people, aware they are more fortunate than a lot of other people, who just don't want to sound like they are pretentiously bragging.

I am working class and don't think bad things about middle class people in general. I do however, think bad things about pretentious middle class people. It's little more than a roll of the eyes and the occasional utterance of "what a twat/wanker" but I also do the same for working class pretentious people. It's pretentiousness that people mock, I think, not the middle class aspect in of itself.

Have witnessed several wonderfully middle class moments I’d like to share.

Woman in supermarket with child of around 8/9. Asks child in completely serious tones ‘now darling, Sauvignon or Pinot?’ Child gave, not unreasonably, the response ‘don’t know, mummy’ (I’m bloody 8, mummy, ffs).

Second one in a very naice bakery. In trots child with parent. Parent: ‘young Cressida loves to save her pocket money for a slice of focaccia.’

It comes from the middle class themselves though

Exactly! My friends have said it to me before. "Oh my God how middle class do we sound right now?" and I'm usually just thinking well, we are middle class! Nothing wrong with sounding it!

@Craftycorvid

Have witnessed several wonderfully middle class moments I’d like to share.

Woman in supermarket with child of around 8/9. Asks child in completely serious tones ‘now darling, Sauvignon or Pinot?’ Child gave, not unreasonably, the response ‘don’t know, mummy’ (I’m bloody 8, mummy, ffs).

Second one in a very naice bakery. In trots child with parent. Parent: ‘young Cressida loves to save her pocket money for a slice of focaccia.’

To be fair the first one sounds like the kind of jokey thing you sometimes say to your kids, often just sort of thinking out loud.

@Craftycorvid

Have witnessed several wonderfully middle class moments I’d like to share.

Woman in supermarket with child of around 8/9. Asks child in completely serious tones ‘now darling, Sauvignon or Pinot?’ Child gave, not unreasonably, the response ‘don’t know, mummy’ (I’m bloody 8, mummy, ffs).

Second one in a very naice bakery. In trots child with parent. Parent: ‘young Cressida loves to save her pocket money for a slice of focaccia.’

I do this but it’s not an arrogance thing. I talk to DS all the time in the supermarket, I ask him questions and show him stuff. It’s just a way of me thinking out loud and engaging with DS.