Re older daughters borrowing stuff. Anyone else hate it?

[bingowingsmcgee]

Dd1 is 22 and a total joy. She lives at home whilst saving, and pulls her weight etc. Our relationship is excellent, so why do I feel a kind of reptilian fury when she uses a makeup item or cream or something cosmetic of mine?! Is anyone else like this? I mean I'd give her my kidney, my last penny, lay down my life for her... So why does it needle me when she uses my shampoo?

Try it when it’s a DSD who can barely lift her head to speak to you yet thinks it’s ok to use every expensive product in my bathroom.

My mum does this to me. Tried to spray on my body lotion and claimed she thought it was perfume. Complained that my soap wasn't very good (it's solid shampoo).

Bless you! My DM rejoices when we use her stuff, as it gives her unlimited access to DSis21's stuff including make up and hair products! Ha!

DSis21 bemoans having left products behind when at uni as she knows that DM will be making thorough use of them (solid shampoo, lipglosses, nail varnishes etc), to "ensure that they are used up by their BBD".

See it as sisterly bonding and discuss the products with her. E.g. what do you think of the Kiko nail varnishes? Do they have much staying power for you? I find the XYZ hair mask really thin. Etc. She might find it awkward enough discussing the effectivity of, say, Sanpro, to make her stop .

Three teenage daughters. I can't even be sure which one to ask or which bedroom to search. Have spent a small fortune on tweezers recently. Have resorted to saying " this is for old skin only and I will look go out looking like Hagrid if I don't get tweezers, brush, expensive brow liner back immediately"

This is it trout! These kids are young and beautiful, they don't need my expensive, carefully chosen products to look alive! 😂

Oh god it gives me the rage.

Just this morning we found the bleach from the upstairs bathroom in her room because she’d used it to decorate a hoodie. So so minor in the scheme of things but she’s like a fucking magpie.

My eyeliner, expensive cleanser, the hairdressing scissors (now blunt because she used them for cutting fabric). She just takes what she wants with no regard for anyone else in the house and it drives me up the fucking wall.

It’s so petty and I shouldn’t care as much but I do.

I wouldn’t have dreamed of ‘borrowing’ my mums stuff, or taking random things around the house for personal use without saying anything.

If she’d asked to borrow the bleach I would have said yes! And then wouldn’t have had to spend half an hour looking for it to clean the bathroom.

Have you asked her not to?

I am humbled and honoured when Dd1 borrows or adopts my clothes. Its a recent turnaround and I may get fed up with it

Yes furry and she's much, much beteer than she was. It's disorganization with her. She loses things and then 'just needs your tweezers for two secs', then forgets to put them back and is at work so I'm left with a monobrow

I only have a son, yet he still has managed to nick my jacket, hoodie, tweezers, conditioner, my pillows..... you name it, he still ‘borrows’ it and never puts it back!

Don't have this problem with cosmetics mainly coz I don't have any but my screwdrivers are always being used by some fucker family member and they never put them back....it's drives me to distraction!

I had it the other way round.

I left home young 19, even before that I worked from age 11 and after leaving school at 16 I worked up to 3 jobs to pay the required board and for my own things. My parents didn’t pay for anything. But my mum saw it as her god given right to take my things, that I paid for. Even after leaving home, when ever I visited she’d help herself. I don’t just mean she used a little bit of my perfume, she’d use half a fucking bottle over a weekend then point blank lie that she used it while reaking of it. I’ve never been big on make up but I do like an odd bit, especially lipstick for years it was the only thing I used. I’m quite particular with it, I HATE HATE HSTE it being all mushed up and a blunted, but as soon as I’d visit my parents my nice lipsticks would be destroyed, obviously it wasn’t my mum, the only other female in the house 🤬

I got payback though. She would buy the same underwear sets as me after I visited, we were the same size in bras, so I started swapping out my old bras for her new ones just before I’d leave 😂😂😂

Yes adult Dd NEVER buys any bloody shampoo/ conditioner so uses my expensive conditioner.
Fortunately buys her own makeup. But also has a very annoying habit of moving my stuff like if I leave my hairbrush out will move it somewhere that I wouldn’t put it so I’m searching round the house like a mad woman for it gives me the rage .

Oh god I only have sons but this would drive me mad too.

Try to take it as a compliment!!

Sadly the only way to stop it is to keep your special lotion etc hidden away. Just put budget brands in the bathroom for her to use. My family are generally quite respectful about beauty products but I don’t use anything really expensive any more.

This would drive me nuts! DH used to nick my skincare until I went mad at him for using half a tube of Origins Modern Friction in one go! I made him buy me a new tube (£25!) and now he buys his own (cheap) skincare!

12YO DD is constantly raiding my wardrobe for “vintage” band t shirts, she said she also likes them because they’re “massive” They’re a size a bloody 12, admittedly she’s a 4 when I buy her clothes from an adult range but fuck me that really stung!

God I hate this too.

Tbh I found it incredibly selfish. Dd1 keeps borrowing my hoodies. I have 2. She has more, they just aren't all black or have zips. So she makes out they are too small ( which they aren't. They are from the mens section in h&m so are bigger and longer and better than mine). So she has 4/5 hoodies and then leaves me with none ( I ones in the wash and she's nicked the other or both are on her bedroom.floor ). Really really pisses me off. Don't care of its "normal" it's extremely selfish. All my money goes on stuff for them, that they need for school ir for home and I can't even keep hold of 2 hoodies...

Oh I hate my dd taking my stuff. It's usually tweezers too. I keep emergency tweezers in my handbag.

I buy cheap and cheerful moisturisers etc for the bathroom and keep my nice stuff in a box hidden behind my clothes in my wardrobe.

My mum never had to put up with this from me because 1. I hated every item of clothing she owned when I was a teenager, and 2. she has an olive skin tone while people could get snow blindness from looking at me, so her make up was useless to me

Living with DH is a different matter, however. I’ve had to hide my expensive shampoo and conditioner, etc because he’ll just grab whatever bottle is to hand. My £££ Redken is now safely in the cabinet under the sink until I need it and he has his own off-brand shampoo and a bar of Imperial Leather

I know exactly what you're talking about. DD is 24 and getting better but every now and then uses my stuff, maybe tweezers or shampoo, moisturiser etc which I don't really mind as she'll let me use hers, like her Kerastase hair oil, but she doesn't put it back . She uses mine as it's always in its place so can always be found, but doesn't return it to that place after use.

Haha I used to be just like this as a teenager. I used to pinch my mums expensive conditioner and lip gloss etc. One day she just lost it... I'd gone to a party half way across town with her lipstick in my bag. She called me and told me I had to return home immediately with the lipstick. She was absolutely beyond livid, I've never seen her so angry before. She wasn't even using the lipstick but I think she was just absolutely over me nicking all her things! I don't blame her looking back but at the time I thought she was horrible!

I get this (two DDs 20) ..... and I couldn’t understand why it annoyed me sooo much. I think it’s because we end up feeling that nothing is ours, we give so much to our kids (yep even adult kids!) and there needs to be a point where we say this is my space and these are my things and that needs to be respected.

I really lost my shit when one borrowed my air pods and lost one ... it was found in her room but she couldn’t understand why I was so pissed off.

Oh my gosh this reminds me of being young!

I used to borrow my mums expensive jeans and then leg it out the door before she noticed. Then stay out all day lol

My loccitane almond shower gel is at the very very back of the bathroom cupboard