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Original poster

Registry office wedding - did you have one?

85 replies

MaizeBlouse · 20/03/2021 14:12

DP and I have been together for 8 years and have 2 DCs. We're not married or engaged as this has always been something neither of us have been that bothered about. We are relatively young still (early 30s). Lots of my friends are getting married (covid aside) and are all planning or have had big weddings with 100s of people, costing them thousands of pounds. That is what they wanted and I'm sure they loved every minute of it so I'm not bashing this style of 'big wedding' but this just isn't what me or DP would want at all and tbh it just sounds like such a huge amount of money for one day!

Are tiny weddings more common than I think? Never hear of anyone having a handful of people present.

We've chatted before and said that if we did get married we would just want to go to the registry office and have probably only 10 or so people there. We both have big families and lots of friends so my worry is that we would upset lots of people by not having everyone there iyswim. My DM in particular would want me to have aunty's and cousins etc who I'm not close to invited and I just would hate this so much.

Did you have a really little wedding and did you offend people by doing so?

OP posts:

DoggyDoolittle · 20/03/2021 18:11

Did you have a really little wedding and did you offend people by doing so?

Yes, and yes. Exactly as you say, extended family not invited to the ceremony, just immediate family on both sides and few closest friends. It was due to very limited capacity at the small register office rather than a desire for a tiny ceremony.
Extended family members kicked off, even though we had a huge party afterwards to which they were all warmly invited. Ugh.
It was pretty hurtful at the time. I wouldn't do it differently though, in retrospect. Your wedding, your way.

Embroideredstars · 20/03/2021 18:12

Yep, over 10 years together and 1 dc, did it for them really, never wanted a "big day". Our 3 living parents attended. Would rather it had been just 2 but was guilted in to the 3rd! Partner would rather it was just us but couldn't do that to my parent.

Even tiny weddings have family pressure

Caesious · 20/03/2021 18:16

We had a really small wedding at the registry office, just our parents and my two stepsons so 8 of us in total. We went for a meal at the pub afterwards and then home as the little ones had colds.
The reason we did it that way is because my family is huge and my husbands is tiny so it would have been so uneven. Neither of us are particularly extroverted or craved a big wedding, it was more about being married than the wedding day.
We just didn’t tell anybody until the next day so there was no option for guilt trips or arguments because it was already done. The only person who wasn’t very happy was my nan but she was fine after the initial shock!
That was 7 years ago and haven’t regretted it at all.

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Weddings

indecisivewoman81 · 20/03/2021 18:18

We had a registry office wedding with 20 guests. It was lovely and laid back. No seating plan for the meal (in a hotel) then a party with maybe 100 more in the evening.

It was my favourite day. Exactly as we wanted and no debt either

Babyfg · 20/03/2021 18:21

I had a registry wedding with three guests and told people afterwards. I hate fuss and all the politics that come with weddings. And tbh I find even good weddings a bit drawn out so wouldn't have want to use that amount of money for a day I'd have not liked!

HilaryThorpe · 20/03/2021 18:22

Yes we did. About 10 at the registry office and 20 for lunch. We have been married for 52 years and never regretted our small and very personal wedding.

murbblurb · 20/03/2021 18:27

yep. I find ceremony really cringy so the shorter the better. It IS a bit cringy but it ticked the box and decades later so far so good.

If they had civil partnerships then would have done that - form filling, job done!

get a shift on as soon as circumstances permit if you are stay at home. If people are offended by someone else's small wedding then as someone else said on here 'those that care don't matter, those that matter don't care'

Saladd0dger · 20/03/2021 18:28

Just 2 witnesses. I hate been the centre of attention and just wanted to be married.

Disfordarkchocolate · 20/03/2021 18:34

We had mid twenties, and that includes the bride and groom and 3 children.

I'd have liked less but my MIL was upset so we had to invite Aunts and Uncles.

My brother had six. It was lovely.

couchparsnip · 20/03/2021 18:34

It's been 25 years in August bit we had a small registry office wedding.
My friend's mum was a registrar so we asked her to perform the ceremony and we had roughly 20 guests.
We then hired a local hotel function room for a meal and evening reception where we invited our friends as well. It was a fun day and no one felt left out!

AC2022 · 20/03/2021 18:34

We had a small wedding on Christmas Eve, only 12 of us. It was a perfect day, and after a meal in a nice pub we all wished each other a Merry Christmas and went home.

No regrets at all.

Dowser · 20/03/2021 18:42

Out of my three weddings and was the smallest and cheapest and was still lovely

Original poster

MaizeBlouse · 20/03/2021 18:51

Gah sorry everyone! I posted and then abandoned the thread. Will read through all the replies when the little one is asleep. Thanks for all the responses.. interested to read them!

OP posts:

TheGriffle · 20/03/2021 18:53

We had a small reception wedding, 25 of us in total including Dh and I. No big do after either, we went to a hotel restaurant and had a meal then everyone went home and we stayed at the hotel with a couple of friends.

My sister went to Gretna green and just had both sets of parents there so 6 of them in total and it looked lovely and again, no big do after.

TheGriffle · 20/03/2021 18:54

Meant registry office wedding!

Plump82 · 20/03/2021 18:57

We got married last July and there was 13 of us. We had planned it to be that way before COVID so it worked well as we didn't need to change anything. We didnt tell anyone apart from immediate family and then we went back to my PIL and had a lovely time eating and drinking at theirs.

Original poster

MaizeBlouse · 20/03/2021 19:51

Thanks so much everyone for responding with your experiences. It sounds like lots of you have had the type of weddings that I would really like.

And everyone saying to do it now during covid do have a point! I didn't consider that!

With family only ours would be 16 people (20 including dp, our DCs and i). I really liked the idea of having a BBQ or food delivered afterwards. I guess then you can invite a few more and it's still a laidback affair.

My DM would huff and Puff and talk about me behind my back, but I like what some of you said about how she's had her wedding and this is dp and mine. My brother got married and had a big wedding with all the bells and whistles so she's also "had" that wedding with him too.

I also never knew about wedding dress hire, so genius!

I wonder if these type of weddings will become so much more popular post covid. It does sound literally insane to me that people spend so much on a big wedding. When did that become the norm?

OP posts:

Plump82 · 20/03/2021 19:54

I can say hand on heart i had as much fun and a good time (if not more) doing it the way we did than people who paid £25k + The thought of a huge group of people looking at me is my idea of hell.

Tillytrotterisarotter · 20/03/2021 19:57

We had 14 at our wedding including us and DC. Was originally booked for registry office but covid hit and our local one wouldn't allow us to give notice so we moved to a church. We went for afternoon tea in a local bistro before moving on to our local pub. We then left everyone else and went to a hotel for the night where we had a meal together followed by snacks and coffee in bed in peace. It was the best day ever.

fairydustandpixies · 20/03/2021 20:05

I had a tiny wedding at a registry office with 8 guests. We all then went for an amazing meal at a fantastic hotel where me and (ex!)H stayed for 2 nights afterwards. Much better than wedding no.1 with crowds and church and reception and all that malarkey! 😂

Davros · 20/03/2021 20:24

We got married in a registry office. I am an unchristened atheist of several generations and DH is jewish. At the time (1992) it was not possible to have a civil ceremony in a posh hotel or historic premises. Ours was in Kings X when it was horrid, right next to Argyle Square which was famous for prostitutes with a Burger King over the road. There were about 20 guests Max

Horsemad · 20/03/2021 20:28

We had 9 guests, got married at a gorgeous local hotel, followed by a meal.
Was lovely, really intimate.

user20211 · 20/03/2021 20:31

Just me, DH, and our 2 witnesses at the registry office. Went for a pub lunch afterwards. It was the perfect day 🧡

Animum2 · 20/03/2021 21:10

We had a registry office wedding, 36 guests allowed so we split it half way and just invited who we wanted then we had another 30 who came to the reception

CornishTiger · 20/03/2021 21:24

Statutory service with two guests and a photographer ( who was a friend which was nice) - children came but not in the room of the service. Celebration outside.

Party a couple of days later organised by our friends. Perfect.

Was what we could afford and dealt with the legal side of things so we both had more protection should anything happen to us.

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