I need some Mumsnet sense knocking into me

[hedgedrama]

I think I am BU. Possibly. And I really don't want to be that neighbour.

Here is the situation.

I have lived in my house for 18 years, it is a semi-detached Victorian house in a very leafy suburb (lots of trees, wildlife, not much noise etc.) and with a decent sized garden - approx. 50m. It is also really unpretentious - all very ordinary working people.

I have new neighbours. They have bought the house next door which needs a full renovation. Great. No problem with any building work for the standard kitchen extensions etc.

But between our gardens is a hedge - it's not the world's greatest hedge because it is a full mix of privet and holly. But it is a reasonable hedge in that it does it's job.

I caught my new neighbour for a spontaneous chat just before and he told me that in 2 weeks they are getting diggers in to remove the hedge and install a fence the whole way down that side of the garden. I expressed 'concern' that I do not want a full blank fence the whole way down my garden and I did say we probably need a conversation about this as I don't want to lose the greenery etc.

The conversation continued into looking at where the boundary was and where the roots were and he kept saying "looks like all the roots are on my side". There isn't a super clear boundary etc. but I was just trying to put my point across about what it will be like on my side with the back side of a fence and no greenery and can we look at saving some of the hedge on my side. It just wasn't going down well - "the roots are on my side"

I also turned all old woman and said that there were birds starting to nest in the hedge, to which he literally laughed and gesticulated he would 'move the nests'. I'm a bird watcher. He's moved into an area which is leafy and full of wildlife and doesn't respect it is what I heard

Much of my post here is to check if IABU - would you be happy with a reasonable hedge being pulled down for a blank fence?

He kept describing what his garden is going to be like - gym at the bottom, astroturf and a Koi pond and I am suspicious that I am being judgey because that is just not my taste...it seems a bit ajar with the area and I very much aware I maybe am stuck in the past but I am just not sure astroturf trumps the birds in the hedges?

I'm waffling now, but am I being a wanker neighbour?

One of you will own the boundary. Go online and check the deeds at the land registry - when you bought your house this info will have been provided by the land registry checks. Whoever owns the boundary owns the hedge sitting on top of it. Do it quickly before he demolishes the hedge!!!

onlinelandregistry.org.uk

If you haven't checked and he hasn't got his title deeds to prove his ownership then one of you should do def check. Dont assume it's a shared boundary unless that is in the deeds. Just because the boundary s between your properties does not mean it is shared.

The boundary between me and my neighbour is mine so I am responsible for it. We tend to jointly agree on hedge fence debates and he contributes to costs but ultimately I own it.

Yanbu

Have you got CCTV cameras on your property at all?

If not ? Can you purchase CCTV security cameras,and ensure they are put in a good position overlooking where your hedge is at then.?

Can you do this As soon as possible then.!

Just in case your neighbour commits nature wildlife destruction such as destroying the nest,with birds nest in them.!

As its illegal to disturb /or destroy a birds nest, at nesting season.!

He sounds like the type who would do that type of shit thing to nature birds !

(I would not trust him !

Also having CCTV security cameras would obviously be evidence,support your case(concern if you did decide to take this further, !

Obviously, aswell CCTV security cameras will provide your family with extra security peace of mind as a family !

Thank you for all the extra comments today and I do have an update.

I spoke to him again last night as he was out in the garden doing something to the hedge. I took a deep breath and was non-confrontational but assertive. He actually instantly apologised for our earlier conversation and said his plan is to cut back the hedge on his side, run a string from the post at the top of the garden and erect the fence there. It will leave me with a decent hedge on my side.

It was amicable and lots of "we don't want or need to fall out about this" so was fine.

But then I mentioned the birds. Again, total dismissal. And then said "don't worry, if there are any nests our cat will have caught them anyway". I said "does she have a bell?" "No - she just rips them off"

And then proceeded to bring out his phone and show me a picture of the cat with a bird in it's mouth.

I was so astounded I just didn't reply. What do you even say to that?

So you've got what you want and you're still not happy because he has a cat?

@AnotherEmma

So you've got what you want and you're still not happy because he has a cat?

😂😂

OP I don’t know about your area but where I am it’s currently illegal to cut hedges due to birds nesting. He may have to wait to cut back his hedge. Find out what the laws are in your area. And then tell him.

I fell out with my neighbour over this very issue - I now have to look at a hideous fence instead of my gogeous 8 ft laurel hedge. I may have angrily asked her why she hadn't moved into a souless new build - not my finest hour but I still won't speak to her.

@JMAngel1

I fell out with my neighbour over this very issue - I now have to look at a hideous fence instead of my gogeous 8 ft laurel hedge. I may have angrily asked her why she hadn't moved into a souless new build - not my finest hour but I still won't speak to her.

Lovely neighbours of mine were nagged by their neighbour to agree to a wall being built taking down a hedge that was there 80 years. They gave in and it was something the husband bitterly regretted for the rest of his days. They felt harassed into it, never told their children who might have intervened. Just awful.

We bought our old house because of the lovely old garden, it certainly wasn't for the huge top to toe renovation job we took on.

The only time that I would be sympathetic is if light is involved.

@AnotherEmma

So you've got what you want and you're still not happy because he has a cat?

Touche

I suppose I was shocked that in a conversation about preserving birds, someone revelled in their cat catching birds.

He's 100% going to get a horrible noisy hot tub in the garden isn't he. Bloody artificial grass. Urgh.

You can't trim hedges this time of the year, let alone remove them. Birds are nesting and it's illegal. Take photos with prove of date and maybe contact the council. You don't want to come back home one day to find he's taken out the bushes and he tells the council, that the previous owner removed them.

This would really piss me off OP, don't let them bully you on this issue.

Sorry, I didn't RTFT, I just skimmed through it. But I wouldn't trust him to do the right thing, so I'd still take the photos.

@aModernClassic

Sorry, I didn't RTFT, I just skimmed through it. But I wouldn't trust him to do the right thing, so I'd still take the photos.

This.

Prepare for the absolute worst, hope for the best.

He's the dregs.
Who in God's name is thrilled with their cat killing small birds and nests.

OP, you have been warned.
Scum.

Who owns the boundary line?!

Sounds like you need a sonic cat scarer now

OP, we’re farmers and you’re not meant to cut or even trim hedges back between 1st March and 1st September because of nesting birds, surely they could be prosecuted for this? I haven’t RTFT so you probably already know that.

That’s awful regarding the frogs it’s so sad that people are so desensitised and ignorant about the wildlife that surrounds them.

OP PLEASE tell him TODAY that he is NOT to trim the hedges even slightly until September or he could be prosecuted

Otherwise you'll come out tomorrow and find your hedge has been trimmed down to a twig!

Regardless of ownership, no-one can trim or cut a hedge if the action damages active birds' nests, and hence violates the Wildlife and Countryside Act. If tall hedges or trees put your garden in the shade, you can cut off branches which overhang your boundary.
www.rspb.org.uk/birds-and-wildlife/advice/gardening-for-wildlife/plants-for-wildlife/garden-hedges/hedge-law/

I would contact the RSPB for further info: 01767 693690

He has to wait until the hatchlings have fledged.

To destroy the hedge while birds are nesting in it is a contravention of Wildlife & Countryside Act 1981

The RSPCA would be interested.

Sorry, forgot the URL The Wildlife & Countryside Act 1981

[quote thosetalesofunexpected]@hedgedrama

Have you got a good male friend or any males members of family ,who could help you out in a supportive way, such as coming around to your place to be Assertive towards your next door neighbour,
about your corncerns in regard of boundary hedge wall issue.!

Is there any male volunteers who you do voluntary work /or you have done paid work even a ex colleague ,they obviously need to have a very Assertive presence attitude towards your next door neighbour ![/quote]

Quick, find the OP some MALES to help her!