How come some women don't tear in childbirth?

[faithfulbird20]

Is it because of the size of the child? The way they push? Massage? I tore both times...but a friend of mine told me she was quite lucky she didn't tear at all...

Lots of factors as PPs have mentioned, and certainly a large element of luck!

I didnt tear with either of my DC. DC1 7lb exactly, DC2 8lb exactly. Both labours were slow which perhaps gave my body more chance to prepare.

My cousin has had 3 babies.
The two she didn’t tear with were big, 10lb+
The third was early and 6lb which she tore with.
Midwife said it was due to the difficulty in pushing her out

I’ve only given birth once, no stretch marks. Induction, epidural and a loooong labour. I didn’t like a PP feel the desire to push so was guided. When he finally decided to make an appearance he was 9lb 7oz.
I didn’t tear, but my cousin who is a midwife said that it wasn’t a good thing with having such a big baby, and sure enough I needed surgery to get sorted out afterwards.

I tore with second and thrid down labour episiotomy scar.

Had episiotomy with first - did have bad streach marks but she was big - 9lb + which no-one suspected and had turned very late - she's been up under my rib cage with litttle to no bump for most of pg - so MW said afterwards she's worried I'd have torn really badly and labour generally would go poorly.

Reason I had episiotomy was MW decided I'd been pushing for an hour - even though I hadn't wanted to push for first 30 minutes - so suddenly was under huge pressure to deliver quickly to avoid forceps at least that's what they said to me - then registrar was there and even though baby was nearly out decided to ventuse delivery and did episiotomy - though it was clear MW wasn't keen.

It had been a short labour up to that point - baby was fine I was fine but it was hospital policy not to allow more than an hour to push and I think once registrar was there he felt he had to treat - despite MW saying it wouldn't be long.

MW put sudden progression down to finally getting me in strupps just before immediatley leaving to fetch the registrar and saying I had to hurry to avoid intervention.

MW with me hadn't like pose I'd been favoring prior to that though did later find out it was a common and very good one for a large baby.

So do wonder with a bit more time during first labour if it could have been avoided.

I've given birth 5 times.
Birth weights ranging from 6lb15 to 11lbs. Labours ranging from 3hrs to 12hrs.
All pushing stages lasted less than 15 minutes except the 11lb one. He was hard work!
A mix of inductions, pain relief and home births.

No tears, no cuts, no stretch marks.
I didn't do anything. Just luck.

I remember people telling me when I was pregnant first time that you often don't notice if you tear during childbirth.

I was like WTF......what kind of hell means you don't feel your genitalia tearing! They were right of course.

Anyway, I tore inside a bit with DS1 (a few stitches) and had a deep graze (optional stitches, declined) with DS2.

1 - long, epidural, had to be told when to push
2 - short and sharp and just gas and air, a fabulous midwife and my sister

Both babies about 7lb

3a tear with DC1, 2nd degree with DC2 and 2nd degree with DC3.

EMCS with DC4. Stressful in other ways!

I had a third degree tear. I had an epidural and only pushed when told. His head was on the 99th percentile so I blame that 🤣

First baby was 6lb 1oz and a water birth, bad tear that required stitches, 2nd baby normal birth 7lb 15oz no tear.

Also got stretch marks with first baby who was smaller but none with 2nd pregnancy.

I think it's just one of those things really.

I have had 4 babies including 2 that were back to back. I didn't do perineal massage (or any other prep for labour) with any of them so I guess luck / genetics must be a big part of it.

I quite enjoyed the pushing stage and felt very powerful like a warrior princess so I'm pretty sure I was actively pushing. I got dreadful haemorrhoids each time too.

I didn't tear with my first but did need an episiotomy due to forceps. With my second he was back to back, his hand was on his face and he was a quick delivery so I tore quite badly.

My first had a head on the 99th pecentile and came out back to back but luckily I only had a graze. I think this was because the birth was very slow so things got stretched slowly, it was in water and I did perineal massage before. Luck and genetics might have helped to.

Had a few stretch marks across the bottom of my bump but they disappeared after around 2 or 3 months PP. Had a quick labour but then two and a half hours of pushing, had a minor graze and no tears. 7lbs 2oz she was

There are too many variables. I did everything right the first time except I happened to be induced, pushed in the right position, perianal massage, 3rd degree tear that required theatre afterwards. And unlike previous poster I felt the exact moment I tore and said to my husband that I felt like I was splitting in two.

A lot of people on the severe birth tear support group im on feel a great sense of failure in their births like they have done something wrong that caused their tear. But having placed a lot of female catheters there is an incredible variance over what is normal and I think a lot of it is anatomical.

Ive had 4 kids, the only time i did t tear and need stitches was with the 4th, I read ( 3 children too late!) that when you feel the stinging sensation pant dont push and thats what it did with number 4.
None if my midwifes gave any guidance and just said just push if thats what your body is telling you to do, I wish I'd read about about panting not pushing through stinging stage earlier!

I’ve only had one natural delivery and tore quite badly she was 6lbs

Probably my fault as they wanted me to ‘stop pushing’! I couldn’t My body was just doing it without any input from me
I never did get that

I definitely didn't feel like I was making decisions about pushing or not pushing either, heather, body was on autopilot!

With dd1 I think I pushed three or four times and she was out. With dd2 it was literally one! My water broke late, it was like a champagne cork popping, and I felt her moving down immediately so just kept going with one big push. She shot out like a racehorse from the gate, good job it was a water birth or I think the midwives would have had a job of catching her. Slow and controlled does not describe my labours! Still no tearing. Did a bit of perineum massage with the first but not the second. There must be a decent amount of luck / genetic predisposition about it all.