How come some women don't tear in childbirth?

[faithfulbird20]

Is it because of the size of the child? The way they push? Massage? I tore both times...but a friend of mine told me she was quite lucky she didn't tear at all...

Someone explained it like this - if you hold a sheet of kitchen roll by two corners on the same side and pull on it gently, it will stretch but not tear. If you pull sharply, it will tear. The vaginal entrance is a bit like this. So the key is a slow and controlled delivery. But that is not always possible.

I think I had that warm compress with DC2 in Germany.

First baby was 8lb 11, I had an eposiotomy for forceps and tore beyond the cut.
Second baby was 7lb7, no cuts or tears. I think size had a lot to do with it, and also second baby = I was a bit more flexible!

Tore the first time...8 lbs.
Didn't the second...12 lbs.

I didn’t tear but I did have a painful graze. DS was 8lb8 so quite sizeable. I think it was a combination of luck, pushing when told to by midwife, and the fact that I’m hypermobile and my skin is every elastic. But who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

I tore with DS1... 2 hours of pushing, back to back, 8lb 10 with a large knobbly head and the best bit was that he ended up being an EMCS so I had two sets of stitches. Apparently the tear was there already from effort of pushing before the failed ventouse.

DS2, pretty brutal forceps delivery... I didn't leave the house for a month afterwards. Plus the community MW put in a complaint about the handiwork of the stitches.

There is no DC3 for some reason...

No rhyme or reason but I had no tears or grazes with any of mine.

All different weights / gestations / types and lengths of labours. Was very lucky.

DC1, 50h augmented Labour (stalled at 7cm so had to have waters broke and was on drip). This was my heavier child and my latest gestation [8lb 7oz 41w]

DC2 4h natural labour. 6lb 12oz and 40w

DC3 24h induction (although labour proper was less than an hour). 5lb 12oz 38w.

@honeylulu

I tore with both babies and they were small (6 lbs and 5 lbs) with tiny heads! I think it depends on a variety of factors but for me the skin forming the vaginal entrance is fairly narrow. I have to keep my mooncup folded into quarters to get it out. On the odd occasion it has popped open it causes a really painful stretch and I can't get it through, the opening is just not wide enough. My vagina itself expands fine, it is just the entrance that is the issue.

This is actually a very good point, I do smears and size varies a lot, regardless of age or whether the woman has had children by vaginal birth or not.

I have never had a narrow entrance! I had what the midwife called a 'slight graze' with DS1 (8lb1) though it still stung like a bitch to pee afterwards.
Nothing with the second and third (9lb5 and 8lb15) despite having shoulder distocia (sp?) with the third.

Ahh I had quite fast births so no wonder I tore...tore more in first one...second one tore less maybe due to the warm compress because I give birth in 20 mins to a breech baby... 😳 how that happened it was only a miracle...

I had three massive babies. I had stretch marks, but I didn't tear. No bladder problems or anything afterwards either.
Didn't massage or prepare in anyway.
I was told it was because I breathed through the crowning and didn't push.
But I don't know, there's no rhyme or reason to it really. I think it comes down to anatomy, we really are all so different.

I had what the midwife described as a 'graze', no actual tear, no stitches, and DS was born needing age 6-12 month hats, so I don't know what that says about my anatomy!!

I saw a physio for pelvic pain when I was pregnant and among other things she showed me how to do pelvic floor exercises properly - not just the squeezing bit, but how to fully relax the pelvic floor muscles between contractions.
When I was pushing with dd, I didn’t push as much as intentionally relax. It was a very fast birth and the midwife was surprised that I didn’t tear.

3 DC
No tears
Natural births in hospital on a bed
Quick labours
All babies between 7,12-8lb
No stretch marks either

I think it must be luck and I’m very grateful, it was the one thing I was most scared of.

Its got to be luck. I didn't tear on either of mine and my second absolutely flew out. I didn't even push. I think he was crowning because the midwife told me to stop pushing, but he had other ideas! I remember thinking I was going to have a bad tear.
He was born in the sac though so whether that eased the passage?

I have had 3 big babies, all 9lb or over. I’ve never torn. I have had fast labours too.

But, I was PETRIFIED of tearing, it was written all over my notes that I was to do anything to avoid tearing or an episiotomy.

I begged the midwives to tell me when to pant and focused every single bot of energy at those points to focus, listen and override the urge to push.

My first 2 babies were water births, the last was ‘dry’, the midwife held my perineum and applied wet clothes to help.

I had 2 medium babies (7-8lbs) and had v small tear (no stitches and I didn't notice them afterwards) with both. I read a study that found meat protein intake makes tears less likely - I'm not sure by how much though! I did perineal massage with both and didn't actively push at all, just did what my body wanted to do.

Water birth here with a 9Ib4 baby. I think I wouldn't have torn BUT he had his hand up by his head coming out, like superman... so the midwife told me to do one last big push instead of more little ones to get the head out, I think they were a bit worried. 2nd degree year and stitches.

Trying for number 2 now so really hoping to avoid another superhero baby 😆

*Year= tear obviously...

I tore with my first (ventouse delivery) but not with my second and third. Not sure it’s down to size as my second was by far my biggest.
I had fairly calm, controlled births with my second 2, I felt like I knew exactly when to push and when to stop and breathe. So maybe that made a difference. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️.

My two were small babies and I tore with both

Dd caused me such a bad tearing I needed corrective surgery a year later. Only for ds to tear me again

Dd was 5lb 13oz
Ds was 5lb 4oz

'First baby was 8lb 11, I had an eposiotomy for forceps and tore beyond the cut. Second baby was 7lb7, no cuts or tears. I think size had a lot to do with it, and also second baby = I was a bit more flexible!'

Hmm that's interesting because my second baby was smaller than my first yet i tore in exactly the same place needing stitches again like the first time. Both were inductions, second baby was over 6 pounds.

The surgeon who repaired my 4th degree tear said it was clear from just glancing at my anatomy that a natural birth should never have been attempted.

With DD1, I had some grazes (didn’t know that was a thing when giving birth but hey ho!). Midwife said I breathed her out, I was in labour with her for about 17 hours and she was 8lb 6oz.

With DD2, I had a second degree tear. I most definitely pushed her out and the labour was much much quicker (arrived at hospital at 8cm and pushing). She was 8lb 2oz.

@BertieBotts

Someone explained it like this - if you hold a sheet of kitchen roll by two corners on the same side and pull on it gently, it will stretch but not tear. If you pull sharply, it will tear. The vaginal entrance is a bit like this. So the key is a slow and controlled delivery. But that is not always possible.

I had mega fast births, no tearing. In my thirties, both babies were 7lb something. No stretch marks either. I think there's just too many variables to bring it down to a simple answer.

No tear but I didn’t really consciously “push” as such - I was in the pool and kneeling up and just sort of bore down a little bit as the contractions and gravity pushed him out.