what assumptions would you make about a family with four to six children?

[ChelseeDagger]

Not wanting to start a bun fight or being goady in the slightest. Just looking for honest opinions, whether they be positive, negative or neutral.

I’d be neutral-positive.

I love big families and would never judge but I probably wouldn’t give it too much thought eithe
But depending on the ‘class’ of the person they will probably be judged. If they are poor they are having kids for benefits because they don’t want to work, if they are rich they are doing it out of love.

I also know someone with 8 kids and someone with 10 kids. The one with 10 kids ate very well off and the mum is a SAHP and I don’t know much about the one with 8 kids only that she just seems to love being a mum.

I’d imagine that they enjoy being around children.

I know two large families: not religious, not wealthy, not poor, not dysfunctional, and the kids are all lovely.

They’re used to being judged for it, just as I get judged for having none, and parents of only children get judged for not having more, etc...

I know three families with 5 or 6 kids
All are polite, sweet, well loved, well looked after children and the parents work hard to provide for them.
I don’t judge families by the number of children

It's not overly common where I live. Most people have one or two (I have two and that's plenty for me!). My friend has four, but that's the largest family I know.

All I think about her is she's super mum because she is so damn organised. Her house is run with military precision, and is clean. The children are also always clean and tidy they do their homework, etc. Her house is noisy! She's a sahm and he works full time but barely lends a hand with the children. They're not rich at all, they rent because they can't afford to save for a deposit but they have enough to pay for everything they need.

I do worry about her financially though, because I know that they don't pay into pensions and they don't own their house, so I foresee potential difficulties for them in the future. Or a very very long working life for them both when the children are no longer in need of adult supervision.

I’d be quite surprised as it’s unusual. In fact I can’t think of any families I know (from school etc) that even have 4 kids. I know quite a few with 3 but honestly can’t think of anyone with 4. When I was at school a few of my findings were one of four.

Probably that they love children and want a big family

Well no, I don't have 4-6 children as per the question in the OP

No, are you entirely mad to think someone with 4 kids must be catholic or rich or on lots of benefits? Can you not read either?

That they like big families?
That they are relatively wealthy?
That the kids probably don't get much 1:1 attention?
That they don't care much about climate change?

My honest reaction when I meet large families is to feel a failure that I couldn't even cope with the thought of a second baby. I feel like they must have something I lack.

Mostly, nowadays and outside of a religious context, I think that once you get to 4+ kids, you just really love the early years and can't imagine a household not revolving around that bustling lifestyle that comes with kids. Most Some people just don't know when to stop though, is my quiet observation. 6 kids is just a bloody statement, isn't it? Not sure what that statement is, but it's a statement. I have a friend with 6 kids. After number 4, it became less 'oh wonderful' and more 'why?'

Just shows that you shouldn't make assumptions about anyone elses circumstances doesnt it!!
I have 4 . All beautifully turned out well behaved lively children.
We are not squeezed into a shoebox of a house, everyone has their own space in our lovely home however we are not wealthy but also not poor. We live well but within our means. We are a close family and myself and Dh give the DC as much of our time as is possible, but that would be the same even if you have one child.
I would have loved to have two more children as i think we make pretty decent human beings !

I’m Catholic so wouldn’t really bat an eyelid or think anything in particular.

We have 4 so I wouldn't think anything, would have liked one more and we did think about it early last year but decided not to because of Covid. Always been a SAHM and I love it , we both come from large families and wanted the same.

If the children are all the product of the same two parents I would think they are either religious or love children (or both!).
I would also assume they were either very wealthy or very poor.

Or...that it’s a couple who had children from previous relationships now living together with all of the children under one roof.

I’d not think anything of four. It’s not that unusual

Six I’d also think either very wealthy, very religious, or poorly educated and also poor with it. You can generally tell immediately which it is. And it’s usually one of those three buckets. It’s rare, although it does happen, that your average family has six kids.

I don’t know anyone with that many children, so I’m not sure I’d have any assumptions. If pressed, I’d say (in no particular order):

1. They’re highly fertile / not great at contraception

1. They love having children and want a big family

1. Potentially on second marriages / blended family?

1. Unexpected twins may have been a factor

1. Unless loaded, children would have to share rooms.

1. It would mean they’d be working a lot (if not loaded) to cover the general cost of life.

I don’t know what any of these things really mean in the grand scheme of things, and if the person chose to tell me their lifestyle, that’s up to them and I wouldn’t give it a second thought (with or without such knowledge).

I think ultimately though I’d think they were brave. 2 is enough for me! These people must have endless patience.

Very common among my aquaintences (although 4 more common than 6) The richest family I know have 7 and lots of paid help. I know 2 that kept going for the boy (4 DCs) or the girl (DC 6) both quite open about it. I see big families and am quite openly jealous, I have 2, would have loved 3 or 4 but DH wasn't keen and was worried about money

I have 4 and people often express surprise, I don't know whether that's in general or maybe I don't seem "the type" (and reading on here the assumptions made do match the assumptions I have heard or overheard!)

In my eldest daughter's class there are 5 children - including her - from families of 4 or more children, it certainly isn't unusual round here where housing is cheap, university isn't an essential criteria for perceived success and most of my generation had their first baby around aged 25.

A range of incomes from a farming family to rich ex-pat banker.

I’d probably assume thrust are quite well off and have a big home.

*they

🤣 the assumptions on this thread are hilarious.

Looks like I haven't got a lot going for me really. And I'm a single parent to my 6 kids too, disappointingly one has left home, is 20, is in a great job and is buying his own home rather than being feral dole scum with no education 🤣🤣 there's still hope for the others to fail at life though. Keep up the family tradition.

I'd think that hime would be busy/hectic.

Other than that, no real assumptions.

FakeFruitShoot same where I live. Having a family of 4 is very common, housing is cheap and cost of living isn't that dear. Lots not aspiring to head to OxBridge.

I wouldn't bat an eyelid if someone said they had 4. It's like saying you have hazel eyes - big deal 🤷