It's my birthday, why do I feel sad?

[Littlelamby878]

Its my birthday today and I just want to cry. But there's no real reason why. I feel like this every year. Every year I lower my expectations (in case it's because of then being too high) yet I still feel really sad.

I think birthdays are so hyped up and the reality usually falls flat. Obviously there is a whole card and balloon industry around this too.

I'll happily go along with other people's birthdays but can't stand mine. No one can ever be bothered with my birthday and yet people always tell me "I have to do something" because it's my birthday

Firstly Happy birthday 🥳.

I think possibly it's what we have all gone through and this maybe having a impact on your thoughts and feelings.

Have you got any plans ? A walk into town , grab a coffee and a cream cake? Plan something nice for dinner.

Just go with the day , embrace the messages and look at today as a good day it was the day you were born xx

I’m just like this every year.
I have no reason to be sad on my birthday. I have a wonderful OH, great DC, a lovely home and I’m always made a fuss of and get lovely cards, gifts, flowers, meal out etc...
But I always just feel flat and teary.
Then I feel guilty because everyone makes such an effort. I’m like it at Christmas too...

Thanks for the replies all, it's nice to know, however crap it is, that Im not the only one who gets like this. I feel it at Xmas too @Laila747. I keep trying to snap myself out of it, I feel guilty for feeling this way.

Might go see the sea, that solves everything :)

I am 50 this year.. Very aware I am more than half way done...

Just do what suits you OP and remember it's just a day.

Happy birthday

I'm like this every year.

In my case it's because my life just seems to get harder no matter how much I try to stay positive or sort things out (plus things I can't sort out like health problems ext).

So it's the same feeling as new year for me, "oh god another year, what the fuck will happen next".

It doesn't help that Dh cannot cope when he's not the centre of attention and will cause an argument to bring all the focus onto him and how hard done by he is.

Not that I want any attention, it hold no value to me I don't even want a card let alone presents or a fanfare, but it seems to be a real problem of his anyway.

Happy birthday

What expectations have you lowered?

Presents, a party, meal out, lots of birthday wishes?

What happens on the birthdays of the people you live with if there are any and is there an inequality?

Obviously parties and meals out aren't possible this year, but if a treat is important to you, it should happen.

Seeing the sea is a great idea. I love to see the sea, but it's too far for me right now, so it's not happening.

Can you add a nice coffee and cake or fish and chips for lunch, sadly takeaway only of course if you are in a lockdown place, but a nice treat for a Monday?

I sometimes feel a bit down on my birthdays and at Christmas too. For me, it's because they hammer home the reality of the passing of the years - and now that I have the majority of my life behind me, marking the journey with birthdays is not very appealing. I prefer to make as little fuss as possible.

I am off to the beach soon op... Best idea for mh moments ime.
I live a minutes's walk away - not traveling...

It's such a funny thing. I guess we remember being excited by our birthdays and then we (obviously not everyone, I've got friends who still put huge store by their birthdays) get to the point of feeling like it's just a day like any other that arbitrarily marks the change from one age to another.

So suddenly it feels like a year has passed (well yeah, since your last birthday but you're only a day older than you were the day before), and if not much good has happened in that year then that's a bit of a downer.

Personally, I can take or leave my birthday. If I never had it celebrated again then that would be fine by me. I like having fun and getting together with family and friends, but I don't particularly like being the centre of attention so am happy to do that at any random time.

I think if you are still chasing that high of what birthdays felt like when you were younger then it'll always fail to meet it.

Happy birthday, OP!

I’d cheerfully ignore my birthday - I have zero expectations and actually only really go along with the whole “it’s your birthday ra-ra-ra” because other people think you’re utterly miserable and/or lying if you say you’re not fussed. Now I’m a mother my DC need me to be excited, and my DH loves birthday fuss so I do it for them. I get lovely presents (really lovely, I am spoiled) but I don’t really expect anything of the day itself so I am never disappointed.

Do you feel like you ought to feel differently? It’s OK to feel sad if that’s how you feel - stop feeling guilty and just go with it, might that help? No one has to feel happy or delighted on their birthday, just let go of the obligation.

My birthday was the other day and I felt sad too. It was my second birthday in this lockdown (one of them a big one) and I think this time of year is hard for a birthday. You have a long winter behind you and yet the clocks still haven't gone back, we still haven't got to spring equinox so it's still cold.

I don't know why you're sad and everybody's different but i felt very flat on my birthday just gone. Last year I was positive. We''ll get through this! It'll be tough for a while! but this year, meh, depleted.

I have today off. I must go for a walk and do some yoga because I always feel better when I do but it's hard to get motivated.

@Easterbunnygettingready

I am 50 this year.. Very aware I am more than half way done...

Yeh, it's a weird thought.

I feel like a young old person now, now an old young person, which is a good shift. I feel better for that.

It’s my birthday too! Happy birthday to us 🎉

It is a bit weird not to be able to do anything, or plan a day out. But at least I am off work! I am going to make scones for my Gran, then go for a socially distanced run with a friend

Happy Birthday, OP!

I often feel like that on my birthday, I think it may be becoming a year older and the expectations we have for our birthday often don't match the reality.

Also lockdown won't be helping, it's not as if you can go for a meal or a nice bar for a few drinks, lockdown birthdays can feel rubbish.

Going to the sea sounds like a lovely idea, nice and relaxing!

My friend explained it(turning 50) as being on holiday for 2 weeks. Getting to the end of the first week knowing it was countdown to the holiday being over..

Happy Birthday OP! I tend to feel the same. Perhaps it’s the expectations fed to us by the media, that birthdays should be big events with mountains of presents and friends descending on you with plans to take you out. That’s never been my birthday, and I’m very glad for it! I celebrate with DP and DC only, get 1-2 small gifts, and that’s just the way I want it. But perhaps it’s something at the back of my mind thinking that I’m ‘doing it wrong’.

How, are you feeling in yourself generally, OP? I used to suffer with this a lot from the age of about 19 to 35. For me birthdays were just confirmation that time was passing too quickly. It was a reminder of all the things I hadn't done yet, all the things I didn't feel satisfied with in life, all the, expectations that go with being 'grown up'. It always just felt like time was running out. I don't find it as bad now that I'm generally happier in life and, with what I've achieved and having done some of the things I desperately wanted to do, but I still get a little maudlin that another year of my life has gone.

I have no expectations, by the way, and always had been cajoled into doing things by family and friends, who won't allow me to let the day go by unmarked (not in an unkind way, always something low key).

Sorry, unless one is throwing a party to celebrate ones' birthday, has children - for whom Christmas must always be made special - or is entertaining at Christmas, feeling underwhelmed is normal.
I mean, they are just days like all others.
It's the FOMO I think, spread by all the SM crap people post, the perfect photoshopped pics etc. Utter tosh.

Happy birthday op 🥳

Go for a walk by the sea , get a chippy lunch or a nice coffee and a bun etc , enjoy being in the moment . That’s something I’ve been trying to do and I find it cheers me up

I feel like that too. Am happy to let it pass by without any recognition. Strange though, as I am happy to celebrate friends' birthdays. My cards are displayed on the day and binned the following day. My parents never made a big deal of birthdays so I guess that is why I am like this. Although my cousin always says 'Why celebrate being a year closer to death!'

I'm not a complete bundle of misery but just don't care for birthdays, Mother's Day etc

@Heysiriyoutwat

Happy birthday

I'm like this every year.

In my case it's because my life just seems to get harder no matter how much I try to stay positive or sort things out (plus things I can't sort out like health problems ext).

So it's the same feeling as new year for me, "oh god another year, what the fuck will happen next".

It doesn't help that Dh cannot cope when he's not the centre of attention and will cause an argument to bring all the focus onto him and how hard done by he is.

Not that I want any attention, it hold no value to me I don't even want a card let alone presents or a fanfare, but it seems to be a real problem of his anyway.

Gosh, no wonder birthdays make you feel sad if that is the attitude of your dh

I keep my feb birthday cards up till Mother’s Day..then my family ones goes in a drawer
As I’m a sentimental old fool